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I've recently become a convert to this kind of thinking. The person invited the public to join in when they decided to have a public speakerphone call. If they

I've recently become a convert to this kind of thinking. The person invited the public to join in when they decided to have a public speakerphone call. If they don't want my responses or laughter, they get annoyed and stop the behavior I was finding annoying in the first place. I don't even have to act like I'm bothered by it, or that I find their behavior offensive. They change their behavior because they are bothered by mine.

onethought 9mo ago
How is that different than two people talking in person? Do you interrupt them as well?
- itishappy 9mo ago
  Yup. Online too! I have no qualms about adding my two cents to any loud public conversations.
- mezyt 9mo ago
  A half conversation is a lot more disruptive because your brain try to fill in the gap of information.
  - cortesoft 9mo ago
    This comment chain is talking about people using speakerphone, though, meaning they hear both sides of the conversation
    - jomohke 9mo ago
      In theory yes, but in practice they usually have the speaker up far higher than they are speaking themselves so we do only hear one side clearly. I think the high distractability is a trifecta of volume, non-naturallness of the sound (compression etc: feeling out of place in the space) and this point.
- stavros 9mo ago
  Do you think having your conversation on speakerphone in public is the same as talking to someone?
  - sdenton4 9mo ago
    People talking to each other in person tend to modulate their voices to match the context. People talking on speakerphone tend to crank the volume and shout.
    - stavros 9mo ago
      Plus devices are tinny and grate. Watching a video on the phone of someone speaking is much more annoying than someone speaking in person, even at the same volume.
      - onethought 9mo ago
        I think this is the only meaningful point being made in this thread. The sound from a phone speaker is annoying, more so, than a typical in person talking. To me the solution lies somewhere in fixing that to make it sound more natural. Everyone else claiming that some how having “loud” conversation is rude, feels like they’ve fallen into some anti-social hole… we are literally the only animal to have developed complex spoken language… it’s part of our humanity.
        xp84 9mo ago
        No, the loudness is a whole separate dimension. 99% of the time, there's no need to be loud in public. Not when you're talking on the phone (the microphones on a phone work great!), not when you're having a conversation with one or two other people close to you. Not when talking to Siri (etc). You can talk quietly in a place that isn't very loud, and in a place like an airport you can talk just loud enough to be clearly heard -- there's no need to shout or to project your voice. There are exceptions to this -- of course nobody expects you to worry about your volume at a concert between sets, at a sporting event, etc. But people who speak very loudly everywhere are annoying to everyone around them.
- lxgr 9mo ago
  If their voices sounded shrill/unnaturally amplified/too loud, definitely. Listening to an annoying conversation on speakerphone is 10x more annoying than when it's face-to-face.

onethought 9mo ago

How is that different than two people talking in person? Do you interrupt them as well?

itishappy 9mo ago
Yup. Online too! I have no qualms about adding my two cents to any loud public conversations.
mezyt 9mo ago
A half conversation is a lot more disruptive because your brain try to fill in the gap of information.
- cortesoft 9mo ago
  This comment chain is talking about people using speakerphone, though, meaning they hear both sides of the conversation
  - jomohke 9mo ago
    In theory yes, but in practice they usually have the speaker up far higher than they are speaking themselves so we do only hear one side clearly. I think the high distractability is a trifecta of volume, non-naturallness of the sound (compression etc: feeling out of place in the space) and this point.
stavros 9mo ago
Do you think having your conversation on speakerphone in public is the same as talking to someone?
- sdenton4 9mo ago
  People talking to each other in person tend to modulate their voices to match the context. People talking on speakerphone tend to crank the volume and shout.
  - stavros 9mo ago
    Plus devices are tinny and grate. Watching a video on the phone of someone speaking is much more annoying than someone speaking in person, even at the same volume.
    - onethought 9mo ago
      I think this is the only meaningful point being made in this thread. The sound from a phone speaker is annoying, more so, than a typical in person talking. To me the solution lies somewhere in fixing that to make it sound more natural. Everyone else claiming that some how having “loud” conversation is rude, feels like they’ve fallen into some anti-social hole… we are literally the only animal to have developed complex spoken language… it’s part of our humanity.
      - xp84 9mo ago
        No, the loudness is a whole separate dimension. 99% of the time, there's no need to be loud in public. Not when you're talking on the phone (the microphones on a phone work great!), not when you're having a conversation with one or two other people close to you. Not when talking to Siri (etc). You can talk quietly in a place that isn't very loud, and in a place like an airport you can talk just loud enough to be clearly heard -- there's no need to shout or to project your voice. There are exceptions to this -- of course nobody expects you to worry about your volume at a concert between sets, at a sporting event, etc. But people who speak very loudly everywhere are annoying to everyone around them.
lxgr 9mo ago
If their voices sounded shrill/unnaturally amplified/too loud, definitely. Listening to an annoying conversation on speakerphone is 10x more annoying than when it's face-to-face.