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The world could use a lot more of learning to like, or even love, the people you didn't choose. That's how it was forever. Now it's not, and we're talking abou

The world could use a lot more of learning to like, or even love, the people you didn't choose. That's how it was forever. Now it's not, and we're talking about a loneliness epidemic. I don't think those things are unrelated.

JoshTriplett 9mo ago
The people who enjoy doing that should absolutely feel free to do so. My comment was addressed at people who don't, to remind people that it's okay to not, and to choose to spend your time in other ways instead.
- deleted 9mo ago
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- huhkerrf 9mo ago
  You missed the point of my comment. My comment was saying that the people who _don't_ should learn how to do so. It's a skill like any others, and what you're proposing contributes to people being lonely. Instead of making connections with people around them, who they didn't choose, they hold out for some platonic ideal of a friend who they have the right amount of things in common with. You see it in this comment section where you've got people shooting down every idea that people put out there. Oh, I can't go to the gym, I don't like working out. Oh, I don't want to join clubs because they don't have my interests. But I also don't want to be lonely, so I guess I'm just stuck.
  - JoshTriplett 9mo ago
    No, I understood the point perfectly, I just think it's completely wrong. It's always possible to find people. If someone is shooting down every idea for doing so, they may have issues with motivation, or being defeatist, or any number of things. Those need solving. That doesn't mean finding perfection. It does mean actively doing something to find people you enjoy spending time with. Life gets immensely happier when you spend time primarily with people you find fulfilling. You can absolutely make a conversation work with anyone, it's absolutely a skill, and it can be useful. But you will in your life have a certain amount of time and energy to interact with people. Spend it well.

JoshTriplett 9mo ago

The people who enjoy doing that should absolutely feel free to do so. My comment was addressed at people who don't, to remind people that it's okay to not, and to choose to spend your time in other ways instead.

deleted 9mo ago
[deleted]
huhkerrf 9mo ago
You missed the point of my comment. My comment was saying that the people who _don't_ should learn how to do so. It's a skill like any others, and what you're proposing contributes to people being lonely. Instead of making connections with people around them, who they didn't choose, they hold out for some platonic ideal of a friend who they have the right amount of things in common with. You see it in this comment section where you've got people shooting down every idea that people put out there. Oh, I can't go to the gym, I don't like working out. Oh, I don't want to join clubs because they don't have my interests. But I also don't want to be lonely, so I guess I'm just stuck.
- JoshTriplett 9mo ago
  No, I understood the point perfectly, I just think it's completely wrong. It's always possible to find people. If someone is shooting down every idea for doing so, they may have issues with motivation, or being defeatist, or any number of things. Those need solving. That doesn't mean finding perfection. It does mean actively doing something to find people you enjoy spending time with. Life gets immensely happier when you spend time primarily with people you find fulfilling. You can absolutely make a conversation work with anyone, it's absolutely a skill, and it can be useful. But you will in your life have a certain amount of time and energy to interact with people. Spend it well.