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Not for everyone but if you can, get a dog. Dogs are icebreakers. People like to meet a cute dog. They won't know your name at first but you will be "Fido's Dad
by dontwannahearit 9mo ago
Not for everyone but if you can, get a dog. Dogs are icebreakers. People like to meet a cute dog. They won't know your name at first but you will be "Fido's Dad" or "Dave's Mom". Other dog owners will greet you and so long as your dogs don't hate each other you already have something in common.
A dog gives you a reason to be wherever you want to be - take a walk around the neighborhood or to the park. You're not a rando taking a walk for mysterious and possible nefarious purposes, you're walking the dog.
But for for goodness sake, pick up after the pooch. If you can wipe your own arse you can pick up a dog turd with a plastic bag.
- wbobeirne 9mo agoAnecdotally, I've had a lot of people in my life recede after getting pets. They're an excellent excuse to say no to things that you might otherwise do, because you need to get home and take care of the pet or you can't find a sitter to go on a trip etc. Not generalizing to all people, but I think for some a pet can reinforce anti-social tendencies.
- snozolli 9mo agoDogs are a bit like having kids, if you embrace it. They make it tougher to do extended trips (e.g. foreign countries), but you can develop an entire social network through them. Doing dog-related trips is a new world of opportunities. I did a three night stay across the state with a bunch of my dog park friends a few years ago. Hikes with the dogs during the day, beer and board games every evening.
- alecco 9mo agoBut that's like befriending others through the kids. Those usually are very shallow relationships. If they suddenly stop seeing you they wouldn't even check if you are OK or what happened. I guess it's better than nothing but that's not for me.
- OkayPhysicist 9mo agoHaving many shallow relationships is the first (well, second) step towards having a few deeper ones. You can't befriend people you never meet, and people find it extremely offputting for someone they don't know to immediately try to be their best friend.
- alecco 9mo agoI've never, ever seen a shallow friendship turn into a deep friendship. OTOH you might meet someone to date.
- OkayPhysicist 9mo agoHave you never made a deep friendship? How else would anybody make deep friendships? First you do things that let you meet people, then you make acquaintances, then you make setting-specific friends (work friends, gym buddies, etc), then you start inviting/being invited to do things that aren't based around that shared setting, and then you have friendships. Either that or your definition of deep friendship is substantially off.
- alecco 9mo agoMost of my deep friendships were through friends and family. A handful at work/school. And it is the same way for most people I know. But I'm not American, so that's that.
- OkayPhysicist 9mo agoMaking friends through work and school are pretty much exactly what I described. You go to a place with people, you meet a lot of people, and some of the shallow acquaintances end up becoming long term friends.
- alecco 9mo ago
- hexbin010 9mo ago> You're not a rando taking a walk for mysterious and possible nefarious purposes Good god, where do you live where people think like that?
- Retr0id 9mo ago> You're not a rando taking a walk for mysterious and possible nefarious purposes It's a little counterintuitive, but I find walking around with a camera has this effect too (depending on where you're pointing it of course).
- RandallBrown 9mo agoI have an older neighbor who just absolutely loves dogs. He sits by his window all day long and runs outside every time a dog comes by to give them a treat. On hot days he has bowls filled with ice water and a kiddy pool for them to splash in. I lived here almost 6 years before doing much more than a smile and nod to him, but my next door neighbors with a dog befriended him almost as soon as they moved in. It wasn't until our son started walking and would stop and try and play in the dog water that we ever really talked to him.
- zvqcMMV6Zcr 9mo ago> get a dog I briefly considered it but I don't want to be the asshole. I would put any pet in exact position I am myself trying to avoid - stuck in home, alone for long periods of time.