If it's Italian, it's pasta. If they have 3 names or a middle initial and sound old, they're a politician. If they have a suspiciously common name, they're a

If it's Italian, it's pasta. If they have 3 names or a middle initial and sound old, they're a politician. If they have a suspiciously common name, they're a comedy actor. If they have two names and they're old, they're a writer. If they're young, they're a cartoonist.