3 ms·
Sexual energy and desire ebbs and flows in a relationship over time, that should be expected, but values and how you want to live a life into the future usually
by toomuchtodo 11mo ago
Sexual energy and desire ebbs and flows in a relationship over time, that should be expected, but values and how you want to live a life into the future usually do not and are foundational. If possible, I’d recommend a few sessions with a therapist to determine where you’re at emotionally, if the relationship is salvageable, and if you want to put the effort in to salvage it. Couples counseling might also help once you’ve figured out where you’re at.
(early 40s, married ~20 years, ama and I’ll do my best to provide value and actionable advice)
- abnercoimbre 11mo ago> Sexual energy and desire ebbs and flows in a relationship over time While I agree with this, the fundamental attraction which ostensibly brought you two together should never really dissipate. If that core desire has left the building, that's the biggest issue here, and MUST be confronted head on. I suggest talking to the partner lovingly but with full honesty, and focus on solving the attraction problem first. Things may be rekindled (better dates, roleplaying, and so on) or they may not. If not, you have to move on.
- toomuchtodo 11mo agoStrongly agree, but we (or at least me for sure) are not qualified to help OP determine why he doesn’t find his partner sexually attractive at the moment/anymore. It could be depression if he has it, but it also could be the desire for their partner has permanently evaporated, that’s why I recommended a practitioner who would have “boots on the ground” in this regard. Just erroring on the side of caution considering the stakes (who you partner with and/or who you have children with are the most important decisions one can make, when considering downstream outcomes).