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It feels like we're talking about two different things in your two posts. In the first, I thought you were saying "people have been assholes to me before but I
by thinkzig 18y ago
It feels like we're talking about two different things in your two posts. In the first, I thought you were saying "people have been assholes to me before but I learned to deal with it because they were giving me feedback that I ultimately appreciated even though they left me feeling angry and humiliated."
My point above was that being able to give constructive criticism is a strength, but giving people feedback that makes them feel "angry and humiliated" is not. There are lots of people that give feedback and do it in a constructive way without being an asshole, and it's not that hard to do.
Your second post above seems to be more about people who can't take criticism regardless of how it's given and your friend's boss, the micro-manager.
I certainly agree that you can't always be direct and constructive without offending some people. Some people are just not ready to to hear what they need to hear, and in some cases the criticism might be unjustified.
In either case, you're better off giving your feedback in a way that doesn't belittle the other person. The other person may not agree with what you are telling them, but at least you haven't added insult to injury by humiliating them in the process.
- kurtosis 18y agoI at least try to follow the rule that you should never criticise people in front of others. I've met people who seem to be able to criticise others without humiliating them and there seem to be at least two principles (1) do it in private (2) convince people that they thought of whatever you were criticising them about