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Relating to my other comment under your post, I feel like I am becoming this. I urgently need to stop it and am looking for books on this topics.

by nubg 10mo ago

timfsu 10mo ago
In my opinion, what you need is a person (or three), not a book :) Someone who relies on you, whatever the context, is some of the greatest motivation out there.
- nubg 10mo ago
  Can you elaborate? Do you mean getting kids? I just got out of a relationship that felt too close for me...
  - triceratops 10mo ago
    I think they mean you should commit yourself to something that you have to show up for regularly, because someone you care about is counting on you. Not kids. Maybe start with a gym or workout buddy. Then work your way up to projects or volunteer work, with people you can't blow off.
  - lunr 10mo ago
    As a widower who just sent his kid off to the grandparents to visit for a few days, and is now missing his person, his kid, who relies on him and feeling the effects of missing purpose... Sure, it could be kids, a partner, a spouse, or a friend or family. But it could also be the rest of the team on the weekly bowling league, the puppies at the shelter who need playtime each week with a volunteer human, the community one serves as a volunteer firefighter, the homeless shelter where one helps serve the weekly dinner, the neighbor who needs help with yard upkeep, or any other parts of the village where one lives that relies on you, and makes you feel included, involved, and fulfilled inside by having that purpose.
tyre 10mo ago
Not sure if you're single, but go on some dates. Getting excited about another human being can be a huge boost. You don't need to replace work with other intellectualism (though you certainly can!)
- nubg 10mo ago
  Thank you.
spongebobstoes 10mo ago
I felt similarly before, my take is to gradually add social structure to life. direction can funnel and catalyse energy. e.g. pottery, crossfit, book club. for me, it was bjj, a world of warcraft group, and a "beer club". regularly watching and chatting in a small twitch stream could be a start, but beware its parasocial nature solo activities add structure but social bonds reinforce discipline and motivation. "someone will notice my absence".

Relating to my other comment under your post, I feel like I am becoming this. I urgently need to stop it and am looking for books on this topics.

by nubg 10mo ago

Relating to my other comment under your post, I feel like I am becoming this. I urgently need to stop it and am looking for books on this topics.

timfsu 10mo ago

In my opinion, what you need is a person (or three), not a book :) Someone who relies on you, whatever the context, is some of the greatest motivation out there.

nubg 10mo ago
Can you elaborate? Do you mean getting kids? I just got out of a relationship that felt too close for me...
- triceratops 10mo ago
  I think they mean you should commit yourself to something that you have to show up for regularly, because someone you care about is counting on you. Not kids. Maybe start with a gym or workout buddy. Then work your way up to projects or volunteer work, with people you can't blow off.
- lunr 10mo ago
  As a widower who just sent his kid off to the grandparents to visit for a few days, and is now missing his person, his kid, who relies on him and feeling the effects of missing purpose... Sure, it could be kids, a partner, a spouse, or a friend or family. But it could also be the rest of the team on the weekly bowling league, the puppies at the shelter who need playtime each week with a volunteer human, the community one serves as a volunteer firefighter, the homeless shelter where one helps serve the weekly dinner, the neighbor who needs help with yard upkeep, or any other parts of the village where one lives that relies on you, and makes you feel included, involved, and fulfilled inside by having that purpose.

tyre 10mo ago

Not sure if you're single, but go on some dates. Getting excited about another human being can be a huge boost. You don't need to replace work with other intellectualism (though you certainly can!)

nubg 10mo ago
Thank you.

spongebobstoes 10mo ago

I felt similarly before, my take is to gradually add social structure to life. direction can funnel and catalyse energy. e.g. pottery, crossfit, book club. for me, it was bjj, a world of warcraft group, and a "beer club". regularly watching and chatting in a small twitch stream could be a start, but beware its parasocial nature solo activities add structure but social bonds reinforce discipline and motivation. "someone will notice my absence".