5 ms·

Her high school life sounds sad. If she really had a fulfilling social life in high school she wouldn't feel the need to tell us all how great it was that she d

by ogama 14y ago

Her high school life sounds sad. If she really had a fulfilling social life in high school she wouldn't feel the need to tell us all how great it was that she didn't go to parties. It reminds me of people who are constantly broadcasting to everyone how happy they are. Chances are, they're not.

hnriot 14y ago
Cognitive dissonance.
- bduerst 14y ago
  Or confirmation bias / projecting. "I didn't have a happy high school years so how can she?"
  - fr84 14y ago
    That's certainly possible. But how do you know? It could also be your own projecting of the same thing.
    - bduerst 14y ago
      >your own projecting the same thing I'm projecting projecting high school sucking? Au contraire - That would require me to doubt everyone making claims that high school was awesome, which I am not doing.
      - fr84 14y ago
        Exactly. Notice you are doing exactly what you accused 'ogama' of doing. ogama made a point that is pretty valid IMHO, namely that the OP had a sad high school experience and is trying to convince herself that not having fun was fun. You assumed ogama must be projecting, in other words that ogama's high school experience was bad. That could be true. But just as likely, it wasn't. Maybe yours wasn't so good? For reference, my own high school experience was mixed to be sure. Parts were amazing, other parts sucked. I don't know anyone whose high school experience was 100% awesome. But I do know a lot whose experience sucked 100%. And those people often broadcast statements to the contrary.
        bduerst 14y ago
        Which is wrong. I'm not doubting that anyone's high school was awesome, just that Ogama is projecting his experience as motive to starting a thread. He never made a claim that he had an awesome high school experience, and I'm not doubting that claim.
    - rhizome 14y ago
      The post's entire argument is phrased in terms of a value judgement. There is no way to react to it without presenting an alternative value system.
hippo33 14y ago
Haha -- my point exactly. That's why I said that most people think that my life sounded horrible. But you are projecting your own definitions on other people -- precisely the point of this post...
guylhem 14y ago
You're projecting your own judgement there!! What if she was indeed very happy? How can you know about her "internal state"? There are no ways to read thoughts yet, so believing what one is saying abouts one own feellings is usually best.
trhtrsh 14y ago
Poe'd? If you had a fulfilling life, you wouldn't feel the need to accuse other people of being secretly unhappy.
- fr84 14y ago
  The person simply sounds defensive, trying to convince themselves that not having fun was fun. So the reply made a good point.
  - Livven 14y ago
    Defensive, yes, but defensive to whom — herself or "most people" who think her high school years were terrible? Imagine: You have a different notion of happiness than most others, so people constantly tell you that you're not happy — even though you are. Naturally, you'll get defensive over time, but then those same people will see that as a sign that you're in fact not happy. Catch 22. In other words: stop being condescending.
philwelch 14y ago
Seriously? It sounds fantastic to me. I would have loved to spend less time in high school hanging out with idiotic, insecure teenagers and more time getting shit done.
- eli_gottlieb 14y ago
  There's no such thing as a satisfying, fulfilling experience of high school. The grass there will always seem like it was greener on the other side. The real reason for this is that we take such large jumps in maturity after school stops holding us back that, in retrospect, we realize that if we hadn't been such fucking idiots in high school, we could have had it all.
  - nostrademons 14y ago
    That was what I thought throughout high school and college, enough that after college, I figured I'd live with my parents and found a startup just to see what my top speed was and what I could accomplish once I really put my mind to something and didn't have any external obstacles holding me back. I found out that it wasn't really school that was holding me back, it was me. I'd thought that it was really technical skills that were key to doing world-changing things with technology. But it turns out it's not: it's character traits like determination, perseverance, curiosity, observational skills, patience, listening, social skills, respect for others, and the ability to accept help that matter most. There's no way to develop these skills other than time and practice, and I found out that that was what my mostly-liberal-arts education had been trying to teach me, except I hadn't been listening all that much because I was so consumed with the technology aspect.

by ogama 14y ago

hnriot 14y ago

Cognitive dissonance.

bduerst 14y ago
Or confirmation bias / projecting. "I didn't have a happy high school years so how can she?"
- fr84 14y ago
  That's certainly possible. But how do you know? It could also be your own projecting of the same thing.
  - bduerst 14y ago
    >your own projecting the same thing I'm projecting projecting high school sucking? Au contraire - That would require me to doubt everyone making claims that high school was awesome, which I am not doing.
    - fr84 14y ago
      Exactly. Notice you are doing exactly what you accused 'ogama' of doing. ogama made a point that is pretty valid IMHO, namely that the OP had a sad high school experience and is trying to convince herself that not having fun was fun. You assumed ogama must be projecting, in other words that ogama's high school experience was bad. That could be true. But just as likely, it wasn't. Maybe yours wasn't so good? For reference, my own high school experience was mixed to be sure. Parts were amazing, other parts sucked. I don't know anyone whose high school experience was 100% awesome. But I do know a lot whose experience sucked 100%. And those people often broadcast statements to the contrary.
      - bduerst 14y ago
        Which is wrong. I'm not doubting that anyone's high school was awesome, just that Ogama is projecting his experience as motive to starting a thread. He never made a claim that he had an awesome high school experience, and I'm not doubting that claim.
  - rhizome 14y ago
    The post's entire argument is phrased in terms of a value judgement. There is no way to react to it without presenting an alternative value system.

hippo33 14y ago

Haha -- my point exactly. That's why I said that most people think that my life sounded horrible. But you are projecting your own definitions on other people -- precisely the point of this post...

guylhem 14y ago

You're projecting your own judgement there!! What if she was indeed very happy? How can you know about her "internal state"? There are no ways to read thoughts yet, so believing what one is saying abouts one own feellings is usually best.

trhtrsh 14y ago

Poe'd? If you had a fulfilling life, you wouldn't feel the need to accuse other people of being secretly unhappy.

fr84 14y ago
The person simply sounds defensive, trying to convince themselves that not having fun was fun. So the reply made a good point.
- Livven 14y ago
  Defensive, yes, but defensive to whom — herself or "most people" who think her high school years were terrible? Imagine: You have a different notion of happiness than most others, so people constantly tell you that you're not happy — even though you are. Naturally, you'll get defensive over time, but then those same people will see that as a sign that you're in fact not happy. Catch 22. In other words: stop being condescending.

philwelch 14y ago

Seriously? It sounds fantastic to me. I would have loved to spend less time in high school hanging out with idiotic, insecure teenagers and more time getting shit done.

eli_gottlieb 14y ago
There's no such thing as a satisfying, fulfilling experience of high school. The grass there will always seem like it was greener on the other side. The real reason for this is that we take such large jumps in maturity after school stops holding us back that, in retrospect, we realize that if we hadn't been such fucking idiots in high school, we could have had it all.
- nostrademons 14y ago
  That was what I thought throughout high school and college, enough that after college, I figured I'd live with my parents and found a startup just to see what my top speed was and what I could accomplish once I really put my mind to something and didn't have any external obstacles holding me back. I found out that it wasn't really school that was holding me back, it was me. I'd thought that it was really technical skills that were key to doing world-changing things with technology. But it turns out it's not: it's character traits like determination, perseverance, curiosity, observational skills, patience, listening, social skills, respect for others, and the ability to accept help that matter most. There's no way to develop these skills other than time and practice, and I found out that that was what my mostly-liberal-arts education had been trying to teach me, except I hadn't been listening all that much because I was so consumed with the technology aspect.