4 ms·

I love going out of my way to help people, but hate when people help me or give me gifts. I don’t know how to experience “pure” gratitude that isn’t overwhelmed

• charlangas 10mo ago
  My therapist told me you can't really give if you can't also receive. I'm in the same boat you are. Trying to get better at it.
• rhubarbtree 10mo ago
  Allowing people to give to you is a way of giving to them.
• mikestew 10mo ago
  I should probably talk to somebody about that… Couldn’t hurt, because you’re robbing others of the opportunity to help. And, frankly, you’re not alone, I constantly run into folks that feel the need to reciprocate or otherwise make it transactional.
  • stavros 10mo ago
    Giving a gift out of gratitude for a good deed isn't making it transactional.
• sejje 10mo ago
  In my second ever job, lawn care, a client wanted to give me a Christmas gift of some cash. I had a personal connection--I worked closely with their son in my first job. I hadn't been offered a gift yet at work, and it felt wrong for some reason--I was young and naive. He insisted many times, and I refused. When it was over, he seemed hurt, and he treated me in a less friendly way afterwards. So that was how I learned the lesson. When someone wants to give you a gift, you accept it graciously. It's your duty. My problem is, I feel bad if I don't put the gift to good use.