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"Before you judge the man in this story too harshly" I will judge him harshly. Instead of getting a divorce, he emotionally abused his wide and child, which pr
by billy99k 11mo ago
"Before you judge the man in this story too harshly"
I will judge him harshly. Instead of getting a divorce, he emotionally abused his wide and child, which probably means therapy for the child for life. He's a selfish asshole, that doesn't think about anyone but himself.
He also could have brought diseases back home to his wife (Just hearing the stories of his selfishness, he would have kept this hidden or not even gotten tested at all).
"The alternative was to be a laughing stock and die alone in a hospital where nurses don’t dare touch you."
This is the worst case scenario. He could have gotten a divorce, and lived the life he wanted.
This guy deserves zero sympathy.
- pavlov 11mo agoIt’s really easy to prescribe what other people should do when you don’t have to walk a yard in their shoes.
- Drupon 11mo agoMost of are out here in our own shoes walking home faithfully to our own spouse. The man in the story neglected his own spouse and CHILD to go and spend time with another partner. I understand not being warm and loving toward a wife you were forced to marry, even if I also know it means you're punishing her on top of the fact that she's dealing with the same thing. To ask her own family to verbally abuse her into not divorcing you so that you have the LUXURY of staying closeted and hooking up with various partners during the height of the AIDS epidemic. But to treat your child as worth nothing to you like this man did is a disgrace. I'm glad the author isn't taking it personally. Imagine growing up effectively without a father because another man has taken all of his affection away from you and your family.
- msteffen 11mo agoNot to mention the partner who he made move to another country and then still wouldn’t tell anyone about. The more I think about this post the more insanely controlling the guy seems!
- Drupon 11mo agoAnd he cheated on that partner so much that said partner is now despondent and wants nothing to do with any memories of him ever again.
- dpark 11mo agoWhere in that story did he emotionally abuse anyone? He was distant and miserable but that’s not abusive (except to himself).
- anon84873628 11mo agoUm, you don't see the problem with that when it's your father / husband?
- dpark 11mo ago“Problem” is not the same thing as “abuse”.
- tempestn 11mo agoCoercing someone to remain in a loveless marriage while you abandon and repeatedly cheat on them sure is though.
- serf 11mo agoso by this rational a person can be abused without even being aware of it and seeing no comparable ill effect? Where is the line drawn? Am I abusing my spouse when I decide that we're a bit too over-stretched financially and that we're going to need to skip the surprise Disney World trip that I had planned but hadn't yet told them about? What about if I think they just didn't try their hardest during the family softball competition? Are they abusing me?
- tempestn 11mo agoHis wife repeatedly requested a divorce and he basically forced her to remain in the loveless marriage. Your strawmen really aren't relevant.
- anon84873628 11mo agoBeing miserable and emotionally distant is something the other people in the family are aware of...
- mise_en_place 11mo agoAt the end of the day it's about integrity. One of my relatives is an MtF transwoman now. Her wife was the first person she told about it, and they are still together, with a daughter. It was a little weird for me when I found out, but if her wife is OK with it, and they're providing a stable home for their daughter, I don't see an issue with it; not really my business. The issue is being dishonest, for decades. That's the primary issue. There are always excuses, but living your life with integrity is of the utmost importance.
- add_n_to_x 11mo ago[dead]