4 ms·

"sort of for the same reason black men in the US aren't going to love it if someone calls them "boys." Why oh why do you need to point this out? I use the wor

"sort of for the same reason black men in the US aren't going to love it if someone calls them "boys." Why oh why do you need to point this out? I use the words girls and guys all the time and it doesn't mean anything racist or sexist.

peterwwillis 14y ago
I use the words girls and guys Boy, not guy. If you used 'boy' for a black male, it would be pretty racist. Know how today it's popular to call to someone by saying "Hey man", "Yo man", etc? That was a trend started by black men in response to racist white people calling them "boy" as a way to insult or demean. The stigma still exists throughout most of black culture because believe it or not, there's still parts of the south where full grown black men are called "boy" by ignorant/racist whites. Using "girl" is not in the same ballpark, so I can see how this may have slipped your mind, but some full-grown women don't like being called a "girl". It's demeaning in a similar way, though I don't believe it was intended to oppress the entire female sex, so it's not nearly as bad. If it's a professional setting, don't call people "girls" or "boys". It's just not respectful. If someone is over the age of 21, just use "woman" or "man", or whatever they prefer to be called. They will appreciate it.
- Evbn 14y ago
  My 30 year old senior director calls herself a girl in the office. Intent matters more than vocabulary.
  - peterwwillis 14y ago
    Intent matters more than vocabulary. Just because something should matter more doesn't mean it does. I agree that vocabulary alone should not matter, but this isn't how the world works. You can't use 'the N word' in public because people don't differentiate your intent from the vocab. Same goes for all terms for all kinds of people. No matter what anyone calls themselves, it's important you treat all people with respect by default, regardless of how they act towards themselves or others. If your boss calls herself a 'girl', you should still call her a 'woman'. Sometimes people will unwittingly foster an unwelcoming culture by making jokes about themselves. Sexual harassment is one example. By calling herself a 'girl', and by making derogatory comments about women, this boss could be setting the standard for all women in the office to be treated, which is very unfair. The same thing happens with race, religion, etc.

peterwwillis 14y ago

I use the words girls and guys Boy, not guy. If you used 'boy' for a black male, it would be pretty racist. Know how today it's popular to call to someone by saying "Hey man", "Yo man", etc? That was a trend started by black men in response to racist white people calling them "boy" as a way to insult or demean. The stigma still exists throughout most of black culture because believe it or not, there's still parts of the south where full grown black men are called "boy" by ignorant/racist whites. Using "girl" is not in the same ballpark, so I can see how this may have slipped your mind, but some full-grown women don't like being called a "girl". It's demeaning in a similar way, though I don't believe it was intended to oppress the entire female sex, so it's not nearly as bad. If it's a professional setting, don't call people "girls" or "boys". It's just not respectful. If someone is over the age of 21, just use "woman" or "man", or whatever they prefer to be called. They will appreciate it.

Evbn 14y ago
My 30 year old senior director calls herself a girl in the office. Intent matters more than vocabulary.
- peterwwillis 14y ago
  Intent matters more than vocabulary. Just because something should matter more doesn't mean it does. I agree that vocabulary alone should not matter, but this isn't how the world works. You can't use 'the N word' in public because people don't differentiate your intent from the vocab. Same goes for all terms for all kinds of people. No matter what anyone calls themselves, it's important you treat all people with respect by default, regardless of how they act towards themselves or others. If your boss calls herself a 'girl', you should still call her a 'woman'. Sometimes people will unwittingly foster an unwelcoming culture by making jokes about themselves. Sexual harassment is one example. By calling herself a 'girl', and by making derogatory comments about women, this boss could be setting the standard for all women in the office to be treated, which is very unfair. The same thing happens with race, religion, etc.