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What comes across as creepy about the techniques is that the approach doesn't seem to involve personal consequences; it seems to be sterile, like a game with no
by gblargg 11mo ago
What comes across as creepy about the techniques is that the approach doesn't seem to involve personal consequences; it seems to be sterile, like a game with no negative effects if it goes wrong. Normal people have all sorts of anxiety and potential hurt if they do these things, since they know how they affect others.
Personally I'd prefer that "spectrum" individuals just be themselves. I take it as my own shortcoming if I can't establish a dialog. I like the challenge of interacting with someone who does things very differently. This of course assumes there's a genuine desire to connect. I knew someone who had some techniques like this, and it was weird interacting with him. The techniques put up a barrier and it didn't feel authentic.
Maybe I'm jaded but I see it as a failure of the "normal" person if they can't deal with someone who communicates differently. All their issues just get triggered, not the fault of the spectrum individual, and not their responsibility to overcome. As a practical measure for just dealing with these people, I could see using techniques. But not when you actually want to relate with someone.
- ryanjshaw 11mo ago> I'd prefer that "spectrum" individuals just be themselves Society at large teaches them this is not safe and they will be excluded (e.g. no friends, no dates, etc) if they do not adapt.
- lazide 11mo agoOr worse, actively targeted by bullies.
- whstl 11mo agoThis is very strange to me. As a neurotypical person (I don't think the term "normal" is appropriate) I'm probably doing or did the same things the article is talking about. And I never thought about negative consequences, except when I was extremely anxious. If anything, people on the spectrum, introvert, or just awkward are probably thinking about the consequences (positive or negative) way more than someone like me. I also agree with the sibling post. The failure of most (?) neurotypical people to accept people on the spectrum as-is shouldn't be a burden on them. If society can't make them safe, they should do whatever is best for them. "Authenticity" (which is just an illusion anyway) be damned.
- gblargg 11mo agoBy authenticity I mean being able to speak your thoughts without having to strategize around the other party being unable to handle it like a mature adult.
- antonvs 11mo ago> I like the challenge of interacting with someone who does things very differently. So this is about you?
- gblargg 11mo agoYes, my whole comment was about me and my experiences. That specific point was that I don't see it as a burden that someone is interacting me differently than most people do.
- Viliam1234 11mo agoYou sound like a nice person, but the typical reaction is different, so the people on the spectrum spend their entire lives training to protect themselves against that, i.e. masking. It would probably take some time to gain their trust.