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Wow, I can’t get past the first couple of paragraphs. > I’ve tried so hard to learn how to connect with people. It’s all I ever wanted, for so long. Are there

Wow, I can’t get past the first couple of paragraphs. > I’ve tried so hard to learn how to connect with people. It’s all I ever wanted, for so long. Are there really people like this? HN is probably the wrong place to ask this question, but this is so far outside of my bubble that I just cannot relate. Some people feel like this, for real?

RealityVoid 11mo ago
Yes? I mean...why is it so hard to imagine people having difficulties with things you find easy or natural?
- throitallaway 11mo ago
  Maybe social connection doesn't come easy to them and they don't care about it much.
  - RealityVoid 11mo ago
    Ok, sure. But is the disbelief there are other people unlike him out there warranted?
- lll-o-lll 11mo ago
  I just. Don’t care? I mean, I want to connect to a few people. I’m human, I love, I feel. I don’t care about connection with most of the people I would interact with.
lazide 11mo ago
Do you mean wanting to connect with people? Or not being able to connect with most people?
deleted 11mo ago
[deleted]
kelseyfrog 11mo ago
I'm curious what your bubble is. The peice is relatable to me at least. A great many of the lessons were something that I also arrived at through deliberate practice. Though the paths we both took are radically different, the main ideas are universal and the resulting destinations are similar. I can't list all of the times when someone has shared that they didn't mean to "share all that" because it happens often enough that it's become countless. As mentioned elsewhere, it illuminates the spectrum of interpersonal and social intelligence where it becomes impossible to not notice how some people repeatedly, and perhaps even compulsively are their own impediment to personal connection.
harimau777 11mo ago
Yes, I have dedicated most of my life to trying to connect with people. In my experience, since I can't connect with people none of my other strengths or skills matter.
thrwwXZTYE 11mo ago
You don't usually realize that's why you're the way you are until much later. At first it might feel like "these people don't like me cause of how much better I am than them", or "these people don't like me, well fuck them, I don't need anybody". People have all kinds of excuses they tell themselves to feel better about the needs they can't satisfy.
fifticon 11mo ago
We are legion,I am sorry to say. I can recognise co-sufferers, but not necessarily help them. In older parlance, we would typically just be described as 'a bore', but there is something a lot more specific going on. I am old now, but watching my child daughter now going through the exact same motions, including doing her damndest to impress people with her many skills, and tragic-ironically driving people away from her with that exact behaviour. And I can't figure out how to help her figure it out. (past-50 insights don't resonate with 11year olds, unless you can relate them in youtuber-speak).

RealityVoid 11mo ago

Yes? I mean...why is it so hard to imagine people having difficulties with things you find easy or natural?

throitallaway 11mo ago
Maybe social connection doesn't come easy to them and they don't care about it much.
- RealityVoid 11mo ago
  Ok, sure. But is the disbelief there are other people unlike him out there warranted?
lll-o-lll 11mo ago
I just. Don’t care? I mean, I want to connect to a few people. I’m human, I love, I feel. I don’t care about connection with most of the people I would interact with.

lazide 11mo ago

Do you mean wanting to connect with people? Or not being able to connect with most people?

deleted 11mo ago

[deleted]

kelseyfrog 11mo ago

I'm curious what your bubble is. The peice is relatable to me at least. A great many of the lessons were something that I also arrived at through deliberate practice. Though the paths we both took are radically different, the main ideas are universal and the resulting destinations are similar. I can't list all of the times when someone has shared that they didn't mean to "share all that" because it happens often enough that it's become countless. As mentioned elsewhere, it illuminates the spectrum of interpersonal and social intelligence where it becomes impossible to not notice how some people repeatedly, and perhaps even compulsively are their own impediment to personal connection.

harimau777 11mo ago

Yes, I have dedicated most of my life to trying to connect with people. In my experience, since I can't connect with people none of my other strengths or skills matter.

thrwwXZTYE 11mo ago

You don't usually realize that's why you're the way you are until much later. At first it might feel like "these people don't like me cause of how much better I am than them", or "these people don't like me, well fuck them, I don't need anybody". People have all kinds of excuses they tell themselves to feel better about the needs they can't satisfy.

fifticon 11mo ago

We are legion,I am sorry to say. I can recognise co-sufferers, but not necessarily help them. In older parlance, we would typically just be described as 'a bore', but there is something a lot more specific going on. I am old now, but watching my child daughter now going through the exact same motions, including doing her damndest to impress people with her many skills, and tragic-ironically driving people away from her with that exact behaviour. And I can't figure out how to help her figure it out. (past-50 insights don't resonate with 11year olds, unless you can relate them in youtuber-speak).