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Appreciate the writing and the author's fortitude in achieving their goals. While I never had friends, neither online nor in person, I cannot identify with this

Appreciate the writing and the author's fortitude in achieving their goals. While I never had friends, neither online nor in person, I cannot identify with this at all - it reads like a strange, obsessive seeking of external validation which I have never felt myself. Maybe I am just disinterested in people in general.

kepeko 11mo ago
That's interesting. People are really different. I had my own stages to being still not socially normal person. I always wanted friends, sometimes had some, sometimes felt lonely. In case you happen to read this, did you not have friends in childhood but didn't feel bad about it?
boogieknite 11mo ago
"hey call you when they need something Trees for the blunt, the g's for the front I found a way to get piece of mind for years And left the hell alone, turn a deaf ear to the cellular phone Send me a letter, or better, we could see each other in real life Just so you could feel me like a steel knife At least so you could see the white of they eyes Bright with surprise, once they finish spitting lies Associates, is your boys, your girls, ______s, _____s, homies Close, but really don't know me Mom, dad, comrade, peeps, brothers, sisters, duns, dunnies Some come around when they need some money Others make us laugh like the Sunday funnies Fam be around whether you paid or bummy You could either ignore this advice, or take it from me Be too nice and people take you for a dummy So nowadays he ain't so friendly" - Deep Friend Frenz DOOM i can sort of relate. ive been told by my family that i dont like people much. im also confident in conversation and social situations. i think the latter is true because i feel no pressure to perform and naturally seek novelty to entertain myself
socalgal2 11mo ago
If you were actually disinterested in people there'd be no point in writing to them here on HN
fsckboy 11mo ago
>obsessive seeking of external validation which I have never felt myself if you've never felt it, why are you mentioning it? why are you so focused on it? A useful psychoanalytic rubric is "there is no negation in the unconscious mind". Negation is a conscious mind idea, the unconscious mind just thinks of things, it doesn't think of something and claim it's not thinking of it. so, rephrasing what you wrote in the unconscious sense, "obsessive seeking of external validation which I have felt myself": yes, you have identified something, identified with something, interesting, about other people and about yourself. If you are aware that you are not seeking external validation, but also aware when other people do, you have to ask yourself... if your complaint about this argument is along the line of "no fair, i can't escape from this!", you're getting the point.
- arowthway 11mo ago
  You're probably right that him being in denial is more likely then him being super special. But I don't think this psychoanalytical reasoning is justified? >if you've never felt it, why are you mentioning it? why are you so focused on it? Because it's interesting / frustrating to find out that the common guidelines to living a normal life don't apply to you, and you pinpoint that fact as the reason? I can come up with infinitely many negative statements in a discussion and it doesn't mean that opposites of them occupy my unconscious day to day.

kepeko 11mo ago

That's interesting. People are really different. I had my own stages to being still not socially normal person. I always wanted friends, sometimes had some, sometimes felt lonely. In case you happen to read this, did you not have friends in childhood but didn't feel bad about it?

boogieknite 11mo ago

"hey call you when they need something Trees for the blunt, the g's for the front I found a way to get piece of mind for years And left the hell alone, turn a deaf ear to the cellular phone Send me a letter, or better, we could see each other in real life Just so you could feel me like a steel knife At least so you could see the white of they eyes Bright with surprise, once they finish spitting lies Associates, is your boys, your girls, ______s, _____s, homies Close, but really don't know me Mom, dad, comrade, peeps, brothers, sisters, duns, dunnies Some come around when they need some money Others make us laugh like the Sunday funnies Fam be around whether you paid or bummy You could either ignore this advice, or take it from me Be too nice and people take you for a dummy So nowadays he ain't so friendly" - Deep Friend Frenz DOOM i can sort of relate. ive been told by my family that i dont like people much. im also confident in conversation and social situations. i think the latter is true because i feel no pressure to perform and naturally seek novelty to entertain myself

socalgal2 11mo ago

If you were actually disinterested in people there'd be no point in writing to them here on HN

fsckboy 11mo ago

>obsessive seeking of external validation which I have never felt myself if you've never felt it, why are you mentioning it? why are you so focused on it? A useful psychoanalytic rubric is "there is no negation in the unconscious mind". Negation is a conscious mind idea, the unconscious mind just thinks of things, it doesn't think of something and claim it's not thinking of it. so, rephrasing what you wrote in the unconscious sense, "obsessive seeking of external validation which I have felt myself": yes, you have identified something, identified with something, interesting, about other people and about yourself. If you are aware that you are not seeking external validation, but also aware when other people do, you have to ask yourself... if your complaint about this argument is along the line of "no fair, i can't escape from this!", you're getting the point.

arowthway 11mo ago
You're probably right that him being in denial is more likely then him being super special. But I don't think this psychoanalytical reasoning is justified? >if you've never felt it, why are you mentioning it? why are you so focused on it? Because it's interesting / frustrating to find out that the common guidelines to living a normal life don't apply to you, and you pinpoint that fact as the reason? I can come up with infinitely many negative statements in a discussion and it doesn't mean that opposites of them occupy my unconscious day to day.