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This is a severe oversimplification of young men (and women). There's no way you could possibly know what this "one guy" wants. What a person finds ideal is go

This is a severe oversimplification of young men (and women). There's no way you could possibly know what this "one guy" wants. What a person finds ideal is going to be way more complicated than they can communicate in a few words. There's absolutely nothing wrong with chasing it. The refinement of that ideal is precisely what it means to have a relationship. The real "problem" is that some people have a hard time seeing the potential when they're young because it takes a lifetime of experience. Instead of committing and working with what they've got, they just find another person until their ideal has been shaped by enough experience. Long term monogamy can definitely be just as unhealthy and foolish. Most of those kinds of people jump into the deep end too early and overestimate their abilities and knowledge. Depending on how stubborn and egotistical they are they may double down and create a huge mess for themselves. They're lucky if their partner is forgiving, but make no mistake that's suffering not love. Either way everyone ends up knowing the same things. I don't understand why these debates keep coming up on the internet since even our great grandparents could have said every word I just did. Old news.

pavel_lishin 11mo ago
> There's no way you could possibly know what this "one guy" wants. What do you mean? He used to be a good friend. We've literally talked about this. He's talked about it with other people, including women, and the rest of the friend group has also discussed this. It was more than "a few words". I mean, in one sense we can never truly know what's going on inside someone's head, but unless we just take the slide down to solipsism, that doesn't really get us anywhere. > I don't understand why these debates keep coming up on the internet since even our great grandparents could have said every word I just did. Old news. Our grandparents lived in vastly different times. Yes, the huge choice of dating partners in the modern world is a detriment, but it's better than living in a small town and knowing that you have two people you could potentially marry, or stay a bachelor (which isn't a choice often granted to women.) One grandparent in my family literally married a man to escape her abusive family; her love for him was strongly shaped by the fact that he was the only man in her life who didn't beat her, and offered to take her out of the situation by joining the military.

pavel_lishin 11mo ago

> There's no way you could possibly know what this "one guy" wants. What do you mean? He used to be a good friend. We've literally talked about this. He's talked about it with other people, including women, and the rest of the friend group has also discussed this. It was more than "a few words". I mean, in one sense we can never truly know what's going on inside someone's head, but unless we just take the slide down to solipsism, that doesn't really get us anywhere. > I don't understand why these debates keep coming up on the internet since even our great grandparents could have said every word I just did. Old news. Our grandparents lived in vastly different times. Yes, the huge choice of dating partners in the modern world is a detriment, but it's better than living in a small town and knowing that you have two people you could potentially marry, or stay a bachelor (which isn't a choice often granted to women.) One grandparent in my family literally married a man to escape her abusive family; her love for him was strongly shaped by the fact that he was the only man in her life who didn't beat her, and offered to take her out of the situation by joining the military.