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"narcissist", "ego centrical", "very beautiful gesture", "Part of being mature" Just tone it down. Nobody deserves the joy of giving you a gift if they don't

"narcissist", "ego centrical", "very beautiful gesture", "Part of being mature" Just tone it down. Nobody deserves the joy of giving you a gift if they don't want stuff, being so mad about it is selfish and lacking empathy. "Maturity", since you bring it up, is respecting somebody's preferences and not diagnosing them of a personality disorder because they don't want to participate in something the same way you do. When somebody says they don't want gifts, the correct response is not "you're a narcissist".

carlosjobim 1y ago
I toned it down already with an edit. But this is a discussion forum, so we're here to discuss, and any comment is an invitation for further replies, wouldn't you agree? Yes, everybody deserves the joy of giving gifts, and it doesn't matter if the receiver wants it or not. They should be happy that somebody thought of them and wanted to show their appreciation. The gift itself doesn't matter very much. Nobody should take for granted that anybody wants to give them any gifts at all, so let's appreciate it when it happens. God knows that there are many people in this world who never receive gifts or any gesture of kindness, and would be overjoyed if it happened to them. Secondly, gifts were never ment to have utility value for the receiver. At most, when we are children we can expect that our parents may figure out what objects we desire. After that, gifts can never be expected to be what the recipient wanted. And that's why I mentioned maturity. How in the world are people who don't live with you in your house supposed to know what you want or need? That's why we as adults need to understand that it is all about the gesture, and not at all about whether the gift is useful or desired by the recipient. So put it in a drawer, give it to somebody else, or throw it away if you must. Just like being invited to dinner isn't about stilling your hunger.
- colechristensen 1y ago
  >Yes, everybody deserves the joy of giving gifts, and it doesn't matter if the receiver wants it or not. Yup, that's the narcissist behavior. You think you deserve to be able to treat people the way you want, and if they don't let you they're wrong, and possibly diagnosable. >Just like being invited to dinner isn't about stilling your hunger. You clearly also think that someone declining a dinner invitation is wrong. I'm guessing you've experienced people declining and don't understand why, I can guess. This is borderline abusive treatment of others. You need therapy, engaging with narcissists online is never worth it so I'm not going to reply any further.
  - carlosjobim 1y ago
    You're making a conscious effort to not understand, so that you can feel good (maybe even feel great) about spewing insults etc. Go ahead, blow off as much steam as you like. We're just two anonymous posters on the internet. Declining a dinner invitation is not wrong. But depending on the situation, you might not get invited again. Accepting a dinner invitation with the idea that the purpose is to still your hunger is misunderstanding what is happening. So is expecting a gift to be something which has to be useful to you. But declining a gift is a brazen insult to the giver, while declining a dinner invitation isn't. Even as children, we're taught to say "thank you" and be grateful when we receive presents, no matter if we like them or not. So when adults are complaining here about getting gifts they don't like, then I will say that there is some maturing to do. Even in our modern materialistic and ego centric world.

carlosjobim 1y ago

I toned it down already with an edit. But this is a discussion forum, so we're here to discuss, and any comment is an invitation for further replies, wouldn't you agree? Yes, everybody deserves the joy of giving gifts, and it doesn't matter if the receiver wants it or not. They should be happy that somebody thought of them and wanted to show their appreciation. The gift itself doesn't matter very much. Nobody should take for granted that anybody wants to give them any gifts at all, so let's appreciate it when it happens. God knows that there are many people in this world who never receive gifts or any gesture of kindness, and would be overjoyed if it happened to them. Secondly, gifts were never ment to have utility value for the receiver. At most, when we are children we can expect that our parents may figure out what objects we desire. After that, gifts can never be expected to be what the recipient wanted. And that's why I mentioned maturity. How in the world are people who don't live with you in your house supposed to know what you want or need? That's why we as adults need to understand that it is all about the gesture, and not at all about whether the gift is useful or desired by the recipient. So put it in a drawer, give it to somebody else, or throw it away if you must. Just like being invited to dinner isn't about stilling your hunger.

colechristensen 1y ago
>Yes, everybody deserves the joy of giving gifts, and it doesn't matter if the receiver wants it or not. Yup, that's the narcissist behavior. You think you deserve to be able to treat people the way you want, and if they don't let you they're wrong, and possibly diagnosable. >Just like being invited to dinner isn't about stilling your hunger. You clearly also think that someone declining a dinner invitation is wrong. I'm guessing you've experienced people declining and don't understand why, I can guess. This is borderline abusive treatment of others. You need therapy, engaging with narcissists online is never worth it so I'm not going to reply any further.
- carlosjobim 1y ago
  You're making a conscious effort to not understand, so that you can feel good (maybe even feel great) about spewing insults etc. Go ahead, blow off as much steam as you like. We're just two anonymous posters on the internet. Declining a dinner invitation is not wrong. But depending on the situation, you might not get invited again. Accepting a dinner invitation with the idea that the purpose is to still your hunger is misunderstanding what is happening. So is expecting a gift to be something which has to be useful to you. But declining a gift is a brazen insult to the giver, while declining a dinner invitation isn't. Even as children, we're taught to say "thank you" and be grateful when we receive presents, no matter if we like them or not. So when adults are complaining here about getting gifts they don't like, then I will say that there is some maturing to do. Even in our modern materialistic and ego centric world.