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You've got to be kidding. The couple of times someone tried this with me I stopped and asked what the F are you doing? It's very obviously fake. Seriously you

You've got to be kidding. The couple of times someone tried this with me I stopped and asked what the F are you doing? It's very obviously fake. Seriously you can't see that?

lcuff 1y ago
Nope, I don't see that. As a therapist, this is a big part of our training. Using it in a business context, there's more emphasis on ideas, whereas in therapy, you do ask people how it makes them feel. Often because people don't know how they feel, and that's important in intimate relationships. It can land as awkward, un-natural, yeah even 'fake' when it's being used by somebody who is just learning it and is practicing, though after time it will lose those qualities. If people you know are using this on you, they might need to own that they're trying something different to get you into a comfort zone before pressing on. No kidding here.
- kubanczyk 1y ago
  > Using it in a business context, there's more emphasis on ideas No. It's a cheap trick to make me trust the interlocutor. Since it's not only cheap but effective, it's entirely my choice whether I submit to it and "open up". In business the other side is anything but your therapist.
  - lcuff 1y ago
    "It's a cheap trick to make me trust the interlocutor". Hmmm. Different interlocutors can have different intentions. Some are going to have the intention to understand. Echoing what you believe the person said is not a 'cheap trick' when it comes to discussing ideas. I've been on both ends of conversations about singing, engineering and sailing, and one person says "what your saying is this" and the other person says: "No, that's not what I'm saying", with a correction that follows, and the chance for two-way understanding.
econ 1y ago
I'm sure one can get better at pretending to care with practice. There are many roads to birthday parties from people you don't like who also don't like you. There will be many uninspired gifts.
qwertytyyuu 1y ago
if somewhat is doing it poorly, it does feel really slimy
- lucidplot 1y ago
  totally, it’s the worst

You've got to be kidding. The couple of times someone tried this with me I stopped and asked what the F are you doing? It's very obviously fake. Seriously you can't see that?

lcuff 1y ago

Nope, I don't see that. As a therapist, this is a big part of our training. Using it in a business context, there's more emphasis on ideas, whereas in therapy, you do ask people how it makes them feel. Often because people don't know how they feel, and that's important in intimate relationships. It can land as awkward, un-natural, yeah even 'fake' when it's being used by somebody who is just learning it and is practicing, though after time it will lose those qualities. If people you know are using this on you, they might need to own that they're trying something different to get you into a comfort zone before pressing on. No kidding here.

kubanczyk 1y ago
> Using it in a business context, there's more emphasis on ideas No. It's a cheap trick to make me trust the interlocutor. Since it's not only cheap but effective, it's entirely my choice whether I submit to it and "open up". In business the other side is anything but your therapist.
- lcuff 1y ago
  "It's a cheap trick to make me trust the interlocutor". Hmmm. Different interlocutors can have different intentions. Some are going to have the intention to understand. Echoing what you believe the person said is not a 'cheap trick' when it comes to discussing ideas. I've been on both ends of conversations about singing, engineering and sailing, and one person says "what your saying is this" and the other person says: "No, that's not what I'm saying", with a correction that follows, and the chance for two-way understanding.

econ 1y ago

I'm sure one can get better at pretending to care with practice. There are many roads to birthday parties from people you don't like who also don't like you. There will be many uninspired gifts.

qwertytyyuu 1y ago

if somewhat is doing it poorly, it does feel really slimy

lucidplot 1y ago
totally, it’s the worst