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I slept around 5 hours last night split up into two periods because my baby daughter woke up crying from fever and wanted to play / was hallucinating / etc. She

I slept around 5 hours last night split up into two periods because my baby daughter woke up crying from fever and wanted to play / was hallucinating / etc. She's totally fine now but I am wondering if there is a correlation between dementia and having kids.

aethrum 11mo ago
Probably negatively correlated cause you have someone to interact with in your old age/better chance of community :)
- skeeter2020 11mo ago
  Also I think of (hopefully at least one of) my three kids as a diversed retirement portfolio :)
arethuza 11mo ago
I remember this quote from when we had young kids: "Insanity is hereditary. You can get it from your children." And then as soon as they are in their 20s and reasonably self sufficient we had to get a puppy to keep me sane!
- spockz 11mo ago
  Long days and short years. Did you have empty nest syndrome?
  - arethuza 11mo ago
    More like empty head syndrome - but getting a dog was the best thing I've done in years.
sarchertech 11mo ago
I’m on my 3rd (she’s 1 week old today) at 42. With the first 2 it was only terrible for the first couple months. Once I just got used to going to sleep at 9:30 I was mostly fine.
- micromacrofoot 11mo ago
  Yeah that's the trick, sleep asap
- grumpy-de-sre 11mo ago
  We're expecting our first in a few months. NGL I'm low key wondering if my messed up natural rhythm of 9pm-4am is going to be potentially handy.
  - zurichisstained 11mo ago
    I have a similar natural rhythm, or I should say "had". For the first year, especially the first few months, it was a godsend (for my wife, especially), but now that we're in a fairly consistent sleep routine with our two year old (~8pm-7am), I've shifted to something more like 8pm-1am out of necessity. Although... I was up until 4am and got up at 6:30am and feel surprisingly great, so it still happens from time to time. :)
  - Tade0 11mo ago
    As a father of two I would say "nope", primarily because you won't be deciding the rhythm. Best you can do is coordinate sleep with your partner so that there's at least one somewhat functioning parent at all times. As I'm typing this my 1.5yo is napping. I had maybe 6h of sleep but I'm after (part time) work and at home already, so I should probably nap as well. Can't. My adult body won't go to sleep right now even though I'm feeling drowsy because it's too bright, too loud and chiefly I already had too much caffeine in the morning and I have like 15 minutes until I'll have to head out to collect my older child from preschool. My SO is knocked out cold at the moment though, so I'll be relying on her this evening.
debo_ 11mo ago
This kind of fear is a quick route to insomnia. One of the most effective ways to reduce sleep is to worry about it.
- grumpy-de-sre 11mo ago
  And when that happens, of course HN has the answer https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15997016 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15997016
  - debo_ 11mo ago
    I think CBTI is pretty horrible but I'm happy it works for some people. There's so much helpful stuff out there now it's rather a blessing.
Mizza 11mo ago
Memory loss from sleep deprivation is an evolutionary advantage. If you remembered how rough the first few months of new children are, you wouldn't do it again.
zoeysmithe 11mo ago
I mean the baby stage doesn't last very long. I dont even remember the sleepless nights from my own kids anymore lol Chronic sleep deprivation is the larger issue. And how we really don't have treatments on how to fix that, and how ultimately sleep phase issues are a social issues (being forced to follow a fixed modern schedule). Not to mention how closely that's tied to ND people. So a lot of us deal with sleep issues since we were little, but work and school dont give us the flexibility we need. For example, flex hours could be helpful here. I would rather work 10am to 6pm or 11am to 7pm most days. Or 5-6 hours during the day and 2-3 hours late at night.
- chasebank 11mo ago
  "Chronic sleep deprivation is the larger issue. And how we really don't have treatments on how to fix that" Sure we do, however, not everyone is willing to hike 20-30 miles a day and sleep in a tent. It's not practical but it is very effective.
  - zoeysmithe 11mo ago
    Physically exhausting yourself isnt a solution. Its tangential to the real issue. Its a bit like suggesting you can solve anxiety caused by trauma by drinking large amounts of alcohol everyday. No, instead we should be treating trauma. Its like putting autistic kids through rough ABA therapy, no instead we should finding accommodations and support for autistic people. People have natural sleep rhythms. Society should conform to that, instead capitalism demands we conform to what it deems profit maximizing.
    - chasebank 11mo ago
      Not physically exhausting yourself is the real issue. It's our natural state as humans. We're not meant to be staring at screens having discussions about chronic sleep deprivation on an internet forum, we're meant to be outside moving our bodies.
    - sureglymop 11mo ago
      I agree with you. I regularly have strong insomnia and I have tried physical exhaustion. It usually works for the first few days of doing it but then it's like my body (probably moreso my mind) gets used to it and it doesn't help with sleep anymore. Arguably it feels even more unhealthy because it's like my body is fully exhausted and tired but my mind won't let me sleep so no restoration can happen.
aliljet 11mo ago
What have you done when your toddler wakes up at random hours during the night to interrupt your sleep and come and play? That's what has truly obliterated our sleep. Everything else was a passing fad that was minimally painful at best..
freedomben 11mo ago
Ah, those days were the absolute grinder for me. How a precious and sweet little baby girl can become an absolute monster all night long, and then wake up the next day back to her normal self while leaving me a hollowed out mess of a human is a mystery for science to solve someday.
- cdelsolar 11mo ago
  aren't they the best though? but yeah, back to the grind, and now i also have her respiratory disease and am trying to launch my startup off the ground ...

aethrum 11mo ago

Probably negatively correlated cause you have someone to interact with in your old age/better chance of community :)

skeeter2020 11mo ago
Also I think of (hopefully at least one of) my three kids as a diversed retirement portfolio :)

arethuza 11mo ago

I remember this quote from when we had young kids: "Insanity is hereditary. You can get it from your children." And then as soon as they are in their 20s and reasonably self sufficient we had to get a puppy to keep me sane!

spockz 11mo ago
Long days and short years. Did you have empty nest syndrome?
- arethuza 11mo ago
  More like empty head syndrome - but getting a dog was the best thing I've done in years.

sarchertech 11mo ago

I’m on my 3rd (she’s 1 week old today) at 42. With the first 2 it was only terrible for the first couple months. Once I just got used to going to sleep at 9:30 I was mostly fine.

micromacrofoot 11mo ago
Yeah that's the trick, sleep asap
grumpy-de-sre 11mo ago
We're expecting our first in a few months. NGL I'm low key wondering if my messed up natural rhythm of 9pm-4am is going to be potentially handy.
- zurichisstained 11mo ago
  I have a similar natural rhythm, or I should say "had". For the first year, especially the first few months, it was a godsend (for my wife, especially), but now that we're in a fairly consistent sleep routine with our two year old (~8pm-7am), I've shifted to something more like 8pm-1am out of necessity. Although... I was up until 4am and got up at 6:30am and feel surprisingly great, so it still happens from time to time. :)
- Tade0 11mo ago
  As a father of two I would say "nope", primarily because you won't be deciding the rhythm. Best you can do is coordinate sleep with your partner so that there's at least one somewhat functioning parent at all times. As I'm typing this my 1.5yo is napping. I had maybe 6h of sleep but I'm after (part time) work and at home already, so I should probably nap as well. Can't. My adult body won't go to sleep right now even though I'm feeling drowsy because it's too bright, too loud and chiefly I already had too much caffeine in the morning and I have like 15 minutes until I'll have to head out to collect my older child from preschool. My SO is knocked out cold at the moment though, so I'll be relying on her this evening.

debo_ 11mo ago

This kind of fear is a quick route to insomnia. One of the most effective ways to reduce sleep is to worry about it.

grumpy-de-sre 11mo ago
And when that happens, of course HN has the answer https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15997016 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15997016
- debo_ 11mo ago
  I think CBTI is pretty horrible but I'm happy it works for some people. There's so much helpful stuff out there now it's rather a blessing.

Mizza 11mo ago

Memory loss from sleep deprivation is an evolutionary advantage. If you remembered how rough the first few months of new children are, you wouldn't do it again.

zoeysmithe 11mo ago

I mean the baby stage doesn't last very long. I dont even remember the sleepless nights from my own kids anymore lol Chronic sleep deprivation is the larger issue. And how we really don't have treatments on how to fix that, and how ultimately sleep phase issues are a social issues (being forced to follow a fixed modern schedule). Not to mention how closely that's tied to ND people. So a lot of us deal with sleep issues since we were little, but work and school dont give us the flexibility we need. For example, flex hours could be helpful here. I would rather work 10am to 6pm or 11am to 7pm most days. Or 5-6 hours during the day and 2-3 hours late at night.

chasebank 11mo ago
"Chronic sleep deprivation is the larger issue. And how we really don't have treatments on how to fix that" Sure we do, however, not everyone is willing to hike 20-30 miles a day and sleep in a tent. It's not practical but it is very effective.
- zoeysmithe 11mo ago
  Physically exhausting yourself isnt a solution. Its tangential to the real issue. Its a bit like suggesting you can solve anxiety caused by trauma by drinking large amounts of alcohol everyday. No, instead we should be treating trauma. Its like putting autistic kids through rough ABA therapy, no instead we should finding accommodations and support for autistic people. People have natural sleep rhythms. Society should conform to that, instead capitalism demands we conform to what it deems profit maximizing.
  - chasebank 11mo ago
    Not physically exhausting yourself is the real issue. It's our natural state as humans. We're not meant to be staring at screens having discussions about chronic sleep deprivation on an internet forum, we're meant to be outside moving our bodies.
  - sureglymop 11mo ago
    I agree with you. I regularly have strong insomnia and I have tried physical exhaustion. It usually works for the first few days of doing it but then it's like my body (probably moreso my mind) gets used to it and it doesn't help with sleep anymore. Arguably it feels even more unhealthy because it's like my body is fully exhausted and tired but my mind won't let me sleep so no restoration can happen.

aliljet 11mo ago

What have you done when your toddler wakes up at random hours during the night to interrupt your sleep and come and play? That's what has truly obliterated our sleep. Everything else was a passing fad that was minimally painful at best..

freedomben 11mo ago

Ah, those days were the absolute grinder for me. How a precious and sweet little baby girl can become an absolute monster all night long, and then wake up the next day back to her normal self while leaving me a hollowed out mess of a human is a mystery for science to solve someday.

cdelsolar 11mo ago
aren't they the best though? but yeah, back to the grind, and now i also have her respiratory disease and am trying to launch my startup off the ground ...