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> and start meeting people in real life Do you have real life hobbies or something? I don't understand how this is supposed to work. I only ever go outside for

> and start meeting people in real life Do you have real life hobbies or something? I don't understand how this is supposed to work. I only ever go outside for groceries or gym, etc.

true_religion 1y ago
I'm not going to say it's 'simple' to have hobbies or find people, but realistically if you don't regularly meet strangers in real life, you'll never date strangers so it's a catch 22. Unless we all want to set ourselves up for arranged marriages in the future, we need to confront this reality.
- noneparticular 1y ago
  Speaking as a pariah for most of his life; I doubts it would ever be so dire. There's always going to be social circles and people coupling up no matter what. But if anything I wonder if, for people like me who aren't really worthy of intimacy, living in a society has options to live a solitary life while still contributing is actually a net positive overall. For me to self select out of the dating pool would mean less noise for someone else looking for a worthy partner. There's less chaff that people in said said pool would have to wade though. The people that want to couple and are capable of doing so will continue to so with less distraction. That seems an overall good thing, no?
reeredfdfdf 1y ago
Real life hobbies, voluntary work, religious organizations if you're into that stuff. Any of these could work, as long as you find some genuine interest in it, and there are enough people that meet your dating profile around. Of course there's also the possibility of meeting people in online communities centered around some shared interest. IMO that's also probably more effective than dating apps, especially if it leads to meeting in real life later on.
hattmall 1y ago
Go to parties.... One of the 5 biggest party days is this Friday, and with it being on a Friday it will be more intense. A solid 3 nights of good parties. That's all you have to do, I do not understand how this is lost on people. Go to parties and have fun and meet people.
- koakuma-chan 1y ago
  > Go to parties.... One of the 5 biggest party days is this Friday, and with it being on a Friday it will be more intense. You mean Halloween? > Go to parties and have fun and meet people. You mean standing with a glass of champagne in hand, smiling, and talking for the sake of talking? I don't understand how this is fun. I tried doing that, albeit without champagne, and that had not yielded anything other than an increased connections count on LinkedIn.
  - hattmall 1y ago
    Yes, Halloween. >You mean standing with a glass of champagne in hand, smiling, and talking for the sake of talking? Bruh, you literally just asked how to meet people. Is that not what "talking for the sake of talking" is? What else are you doing when you "meet" people but talking? Do you want to jump straight into helping them move or change a tire or something, I'm sure that's possible, but it's unconventional. Also yeah, with out the alcohol, it's not the same. Alcohol is the foundation of society, so yes, I mean champagne sucks, but drink something enjoyable. You don't even have to actually talk to people that much, just go drink and hang out. It's not hard.
  - Al-Khwarizmi 1y ago
    It's fun for many of us due to the combination of music, dancing, alcohol and socialization (in varying proportions: depending on tastes, interests and circumstances, one or two of those aspects can be set to zero and it's still enjoyable). Of course, it's also perfectly fine not to like it, and then the most reasonable course of action is not to go. Or to go a couple of times until you're sure you don't like it, and not go anymore. I know cases of people who go partying just because they want to find a partner, but don't enjoy it at all (it's relatively common in my country because partying is quite a religion and there's often a lot of social pressure at certain ages), and that's rather sad. There are other ways to socialize, it's not necessary at all to torture oneself. That said, I have to lecture you on the questioning of "talking for the sake of talking". In the context of finding a partner, talking to other people is exactly what people need... it's not "for the sake of talking", it's for the sake of socializing, meeting new people, building connections, which is the whole point when we're talking about flirting or lack thereof.
karlgkk 1y ago
Do you live in a city? Or do you live in a suburb? Suburbs are great for families and stable relationships, but they are atomizing Go to a local bar once a week. Volunteer for something. Get a hobby.

> and start meeting people in real life Do you have real life hobbies or something? I don't understand how this is supposed to work. I only ever go outside for groceries or gym, etc.

true_religion 1y ago

I'm not going to say it's 'simple' to have hobbies or find people, but realistically if you don't regularly meet strangers in real life, you'll never date strangers so it's a catch 22. Unless we all want to set ourselves up for arranged marriages in the future, we need to confront this reality.

noneparticular 1y ago
Speaking as a pariah for most of his life; I doubts it would ever be so dire. There's always going to be social circles and people coupling up no matter what. But if anything I wonder if, for people like me who aren't really worthy of intimacy, living in a society has options to live a solitary life while still contributing is actually a net positive overall. For me to self select out of the dating pool would mean less noise for someone else looking for a worthy partner. There's less chaff that people in said said pool would have to wade though. The people that want to couple and are capable of doing so will continue to so with less distraction. That seems an overall good thing, no?

reeredfdfdf 1y ago

Real life hobbies, voluntary work, religious organizations if you're into that stuff. Any of these could work, as long as you find some genuine interest in it, and there are enough people that meet your dating profile around. Of course there's also the possibility of meeting people in online communities centered around some shared interest. IMO that's also probably more effective than dating apps, especially if it leads to meeting in real life later on.

hattmall 1y ago

Go to parties.... One of the 5 biggest party days is this Friday, and with it being on a Friday it will be more intense. A solid 3 nights of good parties. That's all you have to do, I do not understand how this is lost on people. Go to parties and have fun and meet people.

koakuma-chan 1y ago
> Go to parties.... One of the 5 biggest party days is this Friday, and with it being on a Friday it will be more intense. You mean Halloween? > Go to parties and have fun and meet people. You mean standing with a glass of champagne in hand, smiling, and talking for the sake of talking? I don't understand how this is fun. I tried doing that, albeit without champagne, and that had not yielded anything other than an increased connections count on LinkedIn.
- hattmall 1y ago
  Yes, Halloween. >You mean standing with a glass of champagne in hand, smiling, and talking for the sake of talking? Bruh, you literally just asked how to meet people. Is that not what "talking for the sake of talking" is? What else are you doing when you "meet" people but talking? Do you want to jump straight into helping them move or change a tire or something, I'm sure that's possible, but it's unconventional. Also yeah, with out the alcohol, it's not the same. Alcohol is the foundation of society, so yes, I mean champagne sucks, but drink something enjoyable. You don't even have to actually talk to people that much, just go drink and hang out. It's not hard.
- Al-Khwarizmi 1y ago
  It's fun for many of us due to the combination of music, dancing, alcohol and socialization (in varying proportions: depending on tastes, interests and circumstances, one or two of those aspects can be set to zero and it's still enjoyable). Of course, it's also perfectly fine not to like it, and then the most reasonable course of action is not to go. Or to go a couple of times until you're sure you don't like it, and not go anymore. I know cases of people who go partying just because they want to find a partner, but don't enjoy it at all (it's relatively common in my country because partying is quite a religion and there's often a lot of social pressure at certain ages), and that's rather sad. There are other ways to socialize, it's not necessary at all to torture oneself. That said, I have to lecture you on the questioning of "talking for the sake of talking". In the context of finding a partner, talking to other people is exactly what people need... it's not "for the sake of talking", it's for the sake of socializing, meeting new people, building connections, which is the whole point when we're talking about flirting or lack thereof.

karlgkk 1y ago

Do you live in a city? Or do you live in a suburb? Suburbs are great for families and stable relationships, but they are atomizing Go to a local bar once a week. Volunteer for something. Get a hobby.