5 ms·

> Speak for yourself. I live in a city. I talk to my neighbors. I met my ex at a cafe. It’s great. What's the birth rate in the civilized world? How many men

by raducu 1y ago

> Speak for yourself. I live in a city. I talk to my neighbors. I met my ex at a cafe. It’s great. What's the birth rate in the civilized world? How many men under 30 are virgins or sexless in the last year?

karlgkk 1y ago
> How many men under 30 are virgins or sexless in the last year? Like I said: speak for yourself
reeredfdfdf 1y ago
Some of those men could meet someone if they quit Tinder or whatever crap online platform they might be using for dating, and start meeting people in real life. Worked for me at least. There's simply less competition and more space for genuine social interaction.
- raducu 1y ago
  > Some of those men could meet someone if they quit Tinder Maybe your intentions are good, but remember, unless we legalize polygamy, the "bad/inept/creepy straight-white men" narative should crumble for people in their 30s and 40s when it's the last train for marriage and children. But we don't have "some of those women..." narrative about single women in their 40s complaining they can't find a husband. My point is it's an universal problem in the civilized world, spanning vastly different cultures in Asia and Europe and North America, "some of those men" is very hand wavy explanation, and I think it spans from the extremely toxic (I'd say anti-human and demonic) hollywood pop culture.
- koakuma-chan 1y ago
  > and start meeting people in real life Do you have real life hobbies or something? I don't understand how this is supposed to work. I only ever go outside for groceries or gym, etc.
  - true_religion 1y ago
    I'm not going to say it's 'simple' to have hobbies or find people, but realistically if you don't regularly meet strangers in real life, you'll never date strangers so it's a catch 22. Unless we all want to set ourselves up for arranged marriages in the future, we need to confront this reality.
    - noneparticular 1y ago
      Speaking as a pariah for most of his life; I doubts it would ever be so dire. There's always going to be social circles and people coupling up no matter what. But if anything I wonder if, for people like me who aren't really worthy of intimacy, living in a society has options to live a solitary life while still contributing is actually a net positive overall. For me to self select out of the dating pool would mean less noise for someone else looking for a worthy partner. There's less chaff that people in said said pool would have to wade though. The people that want to couple and are capable of doing so will continue to so with less distraction. That seems an overall good thing, no?
  - reeredfdfdf 1y ago
    Real life hobbies, voluntary work, religious organizations if you're into that stuff. Any of these could work, as long as you find some genuine interest in it, and there are enough people that meet your dating profile around. Of course there's also the possibility of meeting people in online communities centered around some shared interest. IMO that's also probably more effective than dating apps, especially if it leads to meeting in real life later on.
  - hattmall 1y ago
    Go to parties.... One of the 5 biggest party days is this Friday, and with it being on a Friday it will be more intense. A solid 3 nights of good parties. That's all you have to do, I do not understand how this is lost on people. Go to parties and have fun and meet people.
    - koakuma-chan 1y ago
- dustypotato 1y ago
  >start meeting people in real life. Depends on the country and person I guess. When I did try approaching women a few times, it was 10% angry looks, 30% awkward, 30% basic polite conversation to fulfill social obligation, and 30% friendly conversation. Unfortunately I'm not keen enough to pursue that 30% of friendly conversations by wading through the rest.
  - koakuma-chan 1y ago
    I know right? And tech is such a male-dominated industry, so presence of a female in your proximity is a rare event by itself. But, even if such an event occurs, as you said, interacting with a female is one hell of a minefield. Honestly, at this point, I cannot blame people for choosing to be gay. It is just so much easier to just talk to men, because you don't have to worry about all those mind games.
    - whoooboyy 11mo ago
      Did a Ferengi write this post?
  - karlgkk 1y ago
    What? There’s more to life than approaching women. The best relationships I had were due to friends hooking me up. Frankly, your entire approach is wrong and kinda sad tbh If you want to live life on your own terms, and don’t want to interact with people, you’re _not gonna get to interact with people_
  - bifrost 1y ago
    Its worth it to practice people skills. Maybe try signing up for public speaking classes or some other form of story telling?

by raducu 1y ago

karlgkk 1y ago

> How many men under 30 are virgins or sexless in the last year? Like I said: speak for yourself

reeredfdfdf 1y ago

Some of those men could meet someone if they quit Tinder or whatever crap online platform they might be using for dating, and start meeting people in real life. Worked for me at least. There's simply less competition and more space for genuine social interaction.

raducu 1y ago
> Some of those men could meet someone if they quit Tinder Maybe your intentions are good, but remember, unless we legalize polygamy, the "bad/inept/creepy straight-white men" narative should crumble for people in their 30s and 40s when it's the last train for marriage and children. But we don't have "some of those women..." narrative about single women in their 40s complaining they can't find a husband. My point is it's an universal problem in the civilized world, spanning vastly different cultures in Asia and Europe and North America, "some of those men" is very hand wavy explanation, and I think it spans from the extremely toxic (I'd say anti-human and demonic) hollywood pop culture.
koakuma-chan 1y ago
> and start meeting people in real life Do you have real life hobbies or something? I don't understand how this is supposed to work. I only ever go outside for groceries or gym, etc.
- true_religion 1y ago
  I'm not going to say it's 'simple' to have hobbies or find people, but realistically if you don't regularly meet strangers in real life, you'll never date strangers so it's a catch 22. Unless we all want to set ourselves up for arranged marriages in the future, we need to confront this reality.
  - noneparticular 1y ago
    Speaking as a pariah for most of his life; I doubts it would ever be so dire. There's always going to be social circles and people coupling up no matter what. But if anything I wonder if, for people like me who aren't really worthy of intimacy, living in a society has options to live a solitary life while still contributing is actually a net positive overall. For me to self select out of the dating pool would mean less noise for someone else looking for a worthy partner. There's less chaff that people in said said pool would have to wade though. The people that want to couple and are capable of doing so will continue to so with less distraction. That seems an overall good thing, no?
- reeredfdfdf 1y ago
  Real life hobbies, voluntary work, religious organizations if you're into that stuff. Any of these could work, as long as you find some genuine interest in it, and there are enough people that meet your dating profile around. Of course there's also the possibility of meeting people in online communities centered around some shared interest. IMO that's also probably more effective than dating apps, especially if it leads to meeting in real life later on.
- hattmall 1y ago
  Go to parties.... One of the 5 biggest party days is this Friday, and with it being on a Friday it will be more intense. A solid 3 nights of good parties. That's all you have to do, I do not understand how this is lost on people. Go to parties and have fun and meet people.
  - koakuma-chan 1y ago
dustypotato 1y ago
>start meeting people in real life. Depends on the country and person I guess. When I did try approaching women a few times, it was 10% angry looks, 30% awkward, 30% basic polite conversation to fulfill social obligation, and 30% friendly conversation. Unfortunately I'm not keen enough to pursue that 30% of friendly conversations by wading through the rest.
- koakuma-chan 1y ago
  I know right? And tech is such a male-dominated industry, so presence of a female in your proximity is a rare event by itself. But, even if such an event occurs, as you said, interacting with a female is one hell of a minefield. Honestly, at this point, I cannot blame people for choosing to be gay. It is just so much easier to just talk to men, because you don't have to worry about all those mind games.
  - whoooboyy 11mo ago
    Did a Ferengi write this post?
- karlgkk 1y ago
  What? There’s more to life than approaching women. The best relationships I had were due to friends hooking me up. Frankly, your entire approach is wrong and kinda sad tbh If you want to live life on your own terms, and don’t want to interact with people, you’re _not gonna get to interact with people_
- bifrost 1y ago
  Its worth it to practice people skills. Maybe try signing up for public speaking classes or some other form of story telling?