You're just making excuses and ignoring the problem. The problem is being verbally abusive towards people with no ill intent of any kind is unacceptable in ALL

You're just making excuses and ignoring the problem. The problem is being verbally abusive towards people with no ill intent of any kind is unacceptable in ALL circumstances. No exceptions. You can refuse requests and ban whoever from your chatroom, that is his right. You don't get the right to abuse and mock and harass people. Ever. Assuming that you do makes you a toxic asshole. It's all very cut and dry. There's not really a gray area here. You either treat people with dignity or you're an asshole. Insisting that this kind of behavior is ever acceptable or excusable just means that you're also an asshole and looking for ways to rationalize and justify your own behavior.