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Bad advice that has a very long return on investment is quite sticky. For instance the "cry it out method" did massive amounts of psychological damage to more

Bad advice that has a very long return on investment is quite sticky. For instance the "cry it out method" did massive amounts of psychological damage to more than one generation, but it seemed to work in the short term as the babies eventually learned to "self-soothe". Even now I still see parents and grandparents suggesting it in parenting groups; and taking extreme umbrage at the idea that it might have damaged them/their children.

IAmBroom 1y ago
And the variations on "a little spanking", "spare the rod", "dad would take us out behind the woodshed"... Careful studies have shown that violence used with children percolates back out of them, in rather rapid fashion. Something like a great majority of them go on to use violence to interact with others in the next two weeks. So, yes, as it turns out: a little spanking did hurt... specifically, it hurt innocent bystander kids.
kelipso 1y ago
Cry it out is bad advice? A relative of mine is a psychologist phd and she does it with her baby for sleep training saying self-soothing is fine.
- droopyEyelids 1y ago
  It's too big of a topic for a HN comment but do a google or LLM search and see. One widely-accepted aspect is that a child can not "self soothe" until 5-7 years. It's not developmentally possible, and using that language is a bit of a PR move to gloss over what is actually happening. https://www.google.com/search?q=infant+co-regulation+vs+self-soothing+development https://www.google.com/search?q=infant+co-regulation+vs+self... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_self-regulation https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_self-regulation https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Co-regulation_(communication) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Co-regulation_(communication) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory
- foxglacier 1y ago
  You should ask what she's basing that idea on. Maybe there's some research she knows about but the general world of public health doesn't? Seems more likely that she just doesn't know.
  - ycombinete 1y ago
    Similarly, my own position is that the person suggesting I ignore my baby's crying is the one who needs to do the explaining.

IAmBroom 1y ago

And the variations on "a little spanking", "spare the rod", "dad would take us out behind the woodshed"... Careful studies have shown that violence used with children percolates back out of them, in rather rapid fashion. Something like a great majority of them go on to use violence to interact with others in the next two weeks. So, yes, as it turns out: a little spanking did hurt... specifically, it hurt innocent bystander kids.

kelipso 1y ago

Cry it out is bad advice? A relative of mine is a psychologist phd and she does it with her baby for sleep training saying self-soothing is fine.

droopyEyelids 1y ago
It's too big of a topic for a HN comment but do a google or LLM search and see. One widely-accepted aspect is that a child can not "self soothe" until 5-7 years. It's not developmentally possible, and using that language is a bit of a PR move to gloss over what is actually happening. https://www.google.com/search?q=infant+co-regulation+vs+self-soothing+development https://www.google.com/search?q=infant+co-regulation+vs+self... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_self-regulation https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_self-regulation https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Co-regulation_(communication) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Co-regulation_(communication) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory
foxglacier 1y ago
You should ask what she's basing that idea on. Maybe there's some research she knows about but the general world of public health doesn't? Seems more likely that she just doesn't know.
- ycombinete 1y ago
  Similarly, my own position is that the person suggesting I ignore my baby's crying is the one who needs to do the explaining.