6 ms·

There's a certain wealthy area near me where restaurants ask first if you have allergies, and ice cream shops ask if dairy is ok. My wife and I always joke, "we

There's a certain wealthy area near me where restaurants ask first if you have allergies, and ice cream shops ask if dairy is ok. My wife and I always joke, "we're in that part of town."

garbagewoman 1y ago
Who are you making the joke to?
- emil-lp 1y ago
  These jokes are always of the form "we are in a superior group who know things those outside the group don't". In this case: "allergies and intolerances are made up stuff for weaklings, haha".
  - gambiting 1y ago
    I don't think there's a joke here, or at least I'm not reading it this way. If anything it's not about "weaklings" but about being in an area where people are more likely to sue a business if they aren't warned beforehand - a street vendor elsewhere will not ask because their risk profile doesn't include being sued by someone who bought ice cream from an ice cream truck. Like if you walk into a store and they offer you coffee or even a glass of prosecco, I would also say to my wife "oh we're in that kind of store now" because you know you're about to be ripped off in some way. Not that other stores are for weaklings.
  - thaumasiotes 1y ago
    Possibly something more like "people who have non-imaginary dairy allergies aren't likely to go into an ice cream shop, and even if they do, they obviously won't order without emphasizing their dairy allergy". It's kind of similar to the Whole Wheat Bakery asking you whether you're OK with gluten. If you aren't, you made a big mistake walking in.
    - mlrtime 1y ago
      I think it is ignorance. Affluent areas in general have more variety. The ice cream shop may be a place where you can get all kinds of ingredients that you wouldn't find at other places. This is 100% true for "fine dining" and it's one reason why they ask. They will also have substitutes for an allergy to make the experience just as pleasant, thus they ask.
      - thaumasiotes 1y ago
        > I think it is ignorance. > Affluent areas in general have more variety. No, it's definitely a difference in cultural norms, not something driven by the store inventory. > They will also have substitutes for an allergy to make the experience just as pleasant This is not the case for dairy in an ice cream shop, or for wheat in a "whole wheat bakery".
        morshu9001 1y ago
        Yeah I don't even know why this is a thing, could be lawsuits for all I know, but it's not about the menu.
        array_key_first 1y ago
        Many ice cream shops literally have dairy free ice cream. Ben and jerrys famously has dairy free ice cream.
        zdragnar 1y ago
        Do they ask every single customer if dairy is okay? Because that was the original point... not that the ice cream shop also offered non-dairy versions.
        morshu9001 1y ago
        They don't. Well maybe in that part of town they do, haven't tried.
  - strken 1y ago
    In this case, the joke is that someone with a dairy allergy could somehow buy and eat ice-cream without knowing it contained dairy. It's just a completely ridiculous thing to check. Like warning that the boiled peanuts contain peanuts, or that a pencil sharpener should not have fingers inserted into it.
retSava 1y ago
Is the joke that they are respectful with regards to allergies? Or am I reading a bit much of an attitude into your comment? Because it comes off as rude and tone deaf. With a child that has PA on anaphylaxis-level and has had such an reaction a couple of times, and she has thusly built up a fear and anxiety, not being able to casually just let her attend b-day parties etc etc etc, I can assure you it's not a joke to us. And no, we are not overly clean, in fact love going outdoors into the woods and getting dirt under our fingernails. Nor did we hold her off peanuts when small, her first reaction came when she just had learned to walk at about 10 months and ate a tiny piece found on the floor. And we as parents work very hard on trying to have a casual attitude towards life and work on her anxiety, and not let the PA define who she is or does. But then something like last week happens - those who make the food for school messed up her box of food and she ate mashed pea pattys and got really, really bad, worst in years. Boom, all her confidence in school down the drain. It's heartbreaking, really. To find her have all that fear and pain, and we can only do so much to help her with that. And it's heartbreaking to see it being a joke to some. When I see such attitudes, I try to think that it comes from someone who is living a happy-path life, and well, good for you. Thanks for coming to my TED talk, and smash that bell button.
- ponector 1y ago
  Shouldn't you as a customer be in control of which food is served to you? If you have an allergy, ask for the component list and then decide what to order. Like in rich neighborhoods people cannot talk and should be babysat by the serving staff.
  - mlrtime 1y ago
    You're making this out to be a problem when there is none... but I get it, hating on 'rich neighborhoods' is a easy target. Basically, what is wrong with asking if someone has allergies? If you don't like it, don't go.
  - retSava 1y ago
    That I can, and that I do :) However, I object to the notion that people being considerate of people with allergies, or people with allergies, is weird and ok to be made fun of.
valbaca 1y ago
> ask if dairy is ok > "we're in that part of town." Given that lactose intolerance impacts non-caucasians much more, this reeks of racism Lactose intolerance Prevalence by Race: African Americans: 75-95% Asian Americans: 70-90% Native Americans: 70-80% Hispanic Americans: 50-65% Caucasians: 15-25%
- morshu9001 1y ago
  It's even funnier cause that area is white. But even if it weren't, idc
- asacrowflies 1y ago
  It is very much a race and culture thing across Midwest. Dairy and cows have a connection to being "white Americans" all the way back to Old West and cowboys. A huge number of them are lactose intolerant (native American genes) but insist and even put family pressure on anyone who tries to move away from cheese butter milk dairy etc ..
- LanceH 1y ago
  Lactose intolerance isn't remotely the same thing as an allergy.
- 1718627440 1y ago
  Is ice cream only popular across the western populace, or does it contain too less milk to cause much issues?
enlyth 1y ago
> where restaurants ask first if you have allergies Pretty common expectation in many countries. I was surprised to see this is not normally a thing in the US, given how we're led to believe how much you guys love to sue each other.
- morshu9001 1y ago
  Not sure, but there's a funny saga about sesame in bread cause of lawsuits here
- Gabriel54 1y ago
  I have never been asked such a thing, in the US or elsewhere. It would be on the customer to inform the staff of any allergies.
  - devilbunny 1y ago
    Five years ago it was a rarity (in fact the first place I can clearly recall being asked was a Five Guys, when I said I didn't want a bun - no gluten problems, thanks, just don't need the extra calories). Nowadays I'd say it's more common than not at full-service restaurants. Southern US; I live in a modest-size metro of about 400k and spend plenty of time in bigger cities.
- insane_dreamer 1y ago
  > Pretty common expectation in many countries. I've been to 40+ countries and not once have I been asked about allergies at a restaurant or food shop (i.e., ice cream, etc.)
- kbos87 1y ago
  I'd say I am asked this question at about half of the restaurants I eat at in the US (in the northeast.)
- 1718627440 1y ago
  I don't have experience in many countries, but e.g. in Germany, while everything is labeled according to law, I have never heard anyone asking. I think the persons with allergies know this well themselves.
kgwxd 1y ago
The considerate part of town?

There's a certain wealthy area near me where restaurants ask first if you have allergies, and ice cream shops ask if dairy is ok. My wife and I always joke, "we're in that part of town."

garbagewoman 1y ago

Who are you making the joke to?

emil-lp 1y ago
These jokes are always of the form "we are in a superior group who know things those outside the group don't". In this case: "allergies and intolerances are made up stuff for weaklings, haha".
- gambiting 1y ago
  I don't think there's a joke here, or at least I'm not reading it this way. If anything it's not about "weaklings" but about being in an area where people are more likely to sue a business if they aren't warned beforehand - a street vendor elsewhere will not ask because their risk profile doesn't include being sued by someone who bought ice cream from an ice cream truck. Like if you walk into a store and they offer you coffee or even a glass of prosecco, I would also say to my wife "oh we're in that kind of store now" because you know you're about to be ripped off in some way. Not that other stores are for weaklings.
- thaumasiotes 1y ago
  Possibly something more like "people who have non-imaginary dairy allergies aren't likely to go into an ice cream shop, and even if they do, they obviously won't order without emphasizing their dairy allergy". It's kind of similar to the Whole Wheat Bakery asking you whether you're OK with gluten. If you aren't, you made a big mistake walking in.
  - mlrtime 1y ago
    I think it is ignorance. Affluent areas in general have more variety. The ice cream shop may be a place where you can get all kinds of ingredients that you wouldn't find at other places. This is 100% true for "fine dining" and it's one reason why they ask. They will also have substitutes for an allergy to make the experience just as pleasant, thus they ask.
    - thaumasiotes 1y ago
      > I think it is ignorance. > Affluent areas in general have more variety. No, it's definitely a difference in cultural norms, not something driven by the store inventory. > They will also have substitutes for an allergy to make the experience just as pleasant This is not the case for dairy in an ice cream shop, or for wheat in a "whole wheat bakery".
      - morshu9001 1y ago
        Yeah I don't even know why this is a thing, could be lawsuits for all I know, but it's not about the menu.
      - array_key_first 1y ago
        Many ice cream shops literally have dairy free ice cream. Ben and jerrys famously has dairy free ice cream.
        zdragnar 1y ago
        Do they ask every single customer if dairy is okay? Because that was the original point... not that the ice cream shop also offered non-dairy versions.
        morshu9001 1y ago
        They don't. Well maybe in that part of town they do, haven't tried.
- strken 1y ago
  In this case, the joke is that someone with a dairy allergy could somehow buy and eat ice-cream without knowing it contained dairy. It's just a completely ridiculous thing to check. Like warning that the boiled peanuts contain peanuts, or that a pencil sharpener should not have fingers inserted into it.

retSava 1y ago

Is the joke that they are respectful with regards to allergies? Or am I reading a bit much of an attitude into your comment? Because it comes off as rude and tone deaf. With a child that has PA on anaphylaxis-level and has had such an reaction a couple of times, and she has thusly built up a fear and anxiety, not being able to casually just let her attend b-day parties etc etc etc, I can assure you it's not a joke to us. And no, we are not overly clean, in fact love going outdoors into the woods and getting dirt under our fingernails. Nor did we hold her off peanuts when small, her first reaction came when she just had learned to walk at about 10 months and ate a tiny piece found on the floor. And we as parents work very hard on trying to have a casual attitude towards life and work on her anxiety, and not let the PA define who she is or does. But then something like last week happens - those who make the food for school messed up her box of food and she ate mashed pea pattys and got really, really bad, worst in years. Boom, all her confidence in school down the drain. It's heartbreaking, really. To find her have all that fear and pain, and we can only do so much to help her with that. And it's heartbreaking to see it being a joke to some. When I see such attitudes, I try to think that it comes from someone who is living a happy-path life, and well, good for you. Thanks for coming to my TED talk, and smash that bell button.

ponector 1y ago
Shouldn't you as a customer be in control of which food is served to you? If you have an allergy, ask for the component list and then decide what to order. Like in rich neighborhoods people cannot talk and should be babysat by the serving staff.
- mlrtime 1y ago
  You're making this out to be a problem when there is none... but I get it, hating on 'rich neighborhoods' is a easy target. Basically, what is wrong with asking if someone has allergies? If you don't like it, don't go.
- retSava 1y ago
  That I can, and that I do :) However, I object to the notion that people being considerate of people with allergies, or people with allergies, is weird and ok to be made fun of.

valbaca 1y ago

> ask if dairy is ok > "we're in that part of town." Given that lactose intolerance impacts non-caucasians much more, this reeks of racism Lactose intolerance Prevalence by Race: African Americans: 75-95% Asian Americans: 70-90% Native Americans: 70-80% Hispanic Americans: 50-65% Caucasians: 15-25%

morshu9001 1y ago
It's even funnier cause that area is white. But even if it weren't, idc
asacrowflies 1y ago
It is very much a race and culture thing across Midwest. Dairy and cows have a connection to being "white Americans" all the way back to Old West and cowboys. A huge number of them are lactose intolerant (native American genes) but insist and even put family pressure on anyone who tries to move away from cheese butter milk dairy etc ..
LanceH 1y ago
Lactose intolerance isn't remotely the same thing as an allergy.
1718627440 1y ago
Is ice cream only popular across the western populace, or does it contain too less milk to cause much issues?

enlyth 1y ago

> where restaurants ask first if you have allergies Pretty common expectation in many countries. I was surprised to see this is not normally a thing in the US, given how we're led to believe how much you guys love to sue each other.

morshu9001 1y ago
Not sure, but there's a funny saga about sesame in bread cause of lawsuits here
Gabriel54 1y ago
I have never been asked such a thing, in the US or elsewhere. It would be on the customer to inform the staff of any allergies.
- devilbunny 1y ago
  Five years ago it was a rarity (in fact the first place I can clearly recall being asked was a Five Guys, when I said I didn't want a bun - no gluten problems, thanks, just don't need the extra calories). Nowadays I'd say it's more common than not at full-service restaurants. Southern US; I live in a modest-size metro of about 400k and spend plenty of time in bigger cities.
insane_dreamer 1y ago
> Pretty common expectation in many countries. I've been to 40+ countries and not once have I been asked about allergies at a restaurant or food shop (i.e., ice cream, etc.)
kbos87 1y ago
I'd say I am asked this question at about half of the restaurants I eat at in the US (in the northeast.)
1718627440 1y ago
I don't have experience in many countries, but e.g. in Germany, while everything is labeled according to law, I have never heard anyone asking. I think the persons with allergies know this well themselves.

kgwxd 1y ago

The considerate part of town?