I’m holding out with a very old petrol car which I would really like to upgrade. But this all seems like hell. I’d love an electric car - but I want a dumb one

I’m holding out with a very old petrol car which I would really like to upgrade. But this all seems like hell. I’d love an electric car - but I want a dumb one that can’t call home and never gets updates. Just this pedal go fast. This pedal go slow.