> Empathy is when you try your best to build an accurate model of someone else’s world in order to better understand them. That's cognitive empathy. What most

> Empathy is when you try your best to build an accurate model of someone else’s world in order to better understand them. That's cognitive empathy. What most people ask you for is emotional empathy = experiencing (as opposed to modeling) the emotions of others. It's not even that important to experience actual emotions of others. Even empathetic people are often mistaken about what emotions other people feel. Somebody might be sad for different reason than you think. Or they might actually be happy just pretending to be sad. An empathetic observer would still feel sad for that person, and it's still empathy even if the information it's based on is wrong. What's important is the intent and the consequences of experiencing the possible emotions of other people. If you feel bad when somebody else is suffering, you're more likely to treat them well and less likely to abuse them. That's what people are asking you for - to treat others better and not to abuse them. BTW some people don't have emotional empathy, and it's not their fault. You can still be a decent human being. It's just harder.