5 ms·
Interesting—in what ways was it better?
by j-v 14y ago
Interesting—in what ways was it better?
- lincolnq 14y agoWay less awkwardness. You are in a relaxed environment with friends, and there's much less scrambling for things to talk about, because pretty much everyone can tell awesome stories about their friends. However, there is an increased level of awkwardness if you like someone from the other group -- you have to isolate them and try to get their number, which isn't always the easiest thing in a group of 6.
- Swizec 14y agoSorry, but ... why? Just ask them for their number. You are not a lion and they are not a zebra. You do not need to isolate them.
- larrys 14y ago"you have to isolate them" My guess is that by "isolate" the parent means it would be awkward to have others at the table hear that you are doing that (edit: asking for a phone number) or it might make someone who wasn't picked feel uncomfortable or even the person you've picked might feel uncomfortable in front of others rejecting (or even accepting) a phone number request.
- Swizec 14y agoMaybe. But all of those are artificial problems that don't really exist with people who have gone beyond the emotional/social maturity of 14 year olds. It's also a sign of cowardice. Cowardice is unattractive in potential mates.
- usaar333 14y agoNo, it's not. It's a sign of empathy, attractive to potential mates. It isn't just you taking the risk (which you could ascribe to cowardliness); it is you needing to be careful to not shame your friends.
- GFKjunior 14y agoYou are absolutely right. In matters of love and attraction fortune always favors the bold.
- nandemo 14y agoNo, it's not cowardice. It's about being discreet. Though I agree with another poster in this subthread: just ask everyone's phone numbers (if the group is small enough).
- boboblong 14y agoIt actually takes courage to disengage from a group setting in order to signify romantic interest in someone you don't know very well. The comfortable thing to do is remain in the group setting.
- barry-cotter 14y agoYour analysis of the situation is basically correct but your judgmental tone and general sneering attitude to those with social problems are the mark of a cock.
- lifeformed 14y agoI'm assuming Grouper would have some sort of way to reconnect after a meetup? Seems like you could always communicate that way afterwards.
- eli_gottlieb 14y agoIsn't the whole thing supposed to be a dating site? Isn't the whole point of dating to find (ie: "isolate") someone you like and go do fun things together?
- andrewljohnson 14y agoWhoa there Casanova - seems like a pretty good move to get into a private conversation with the person you want to get a number from. It's going to be awkward and have a lower probability of success if you shout your request across the table. Plus... if she says no, you have now made everyone else at the table your second choice, and no one wants to be second choice.
- majormajor 14y agoFiguring out how to get everyone's number at once without looking creepy or putting anyone in particular on the spot is left as an exercise for the reader. ;) (The first one I'd try: a friendly group contact info exchange suggestion, to be able to keep in touch, would let me then follow up one-on-one later over text/calling/facebook/your method of choice, without having to corner anyone.)
- robryan 14y agoThese days, could probably just avoid asking for contact details and find them on Facebook later.
- sukuriant 14y agoThere's that whole set of people that don't use Facebook ... also, creeper factor much? "hey.. I was searching for you on facebook, and... wanted to know if we could hang out" insert heavy breathing where most awkward to fit my mental image of someone stalking me on facebook
- aswanson 14y agoMaybe that's the key to making a good product in this space. Making a group connect web page for each get-together putting an optional amount of contact info in it after the get together. Also add an IM system.
- irishcoffee 14y agoLooks like you need to have Facebook to sign up, which I assume is how they screen people. Unfortunate, as I dropped my account a few years ago and I would have tried this, looks like fun.
- boboblong 14y agoSettle down. It's just the logistics of socializing, not predatory.