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> Masking is a form of dishonesty and people who are good a communication see it as such. Masking is autistic people adjusting their communication style so the
by cardanome 1y ago
> Masking is a form of dishonesty and people who are good a communication see it as such.
Masking is autistic people adjusting their communication style so they are more acceptable to allistic people while neglecting their own needs.
For example many autistic people show emotions differently. They can default to a flatter tone of voice or show less microexpressions in the face i.e a flatter affect. (Just to be clear, it does not mean they have less emotions. Just because someone expresses emotions differently does not mean they have more or less. Again, they could be for example extremely happy but you would read them as withdrawn and disinterested.)
Much of autistic masking can be micromanaging these things. Tone of voice, face expressions, body language.
,And here comes the kicker: High-Masking autistic people are read as MORE honest and authentic by allistic people. Yes more honest no less. Because they show behavior that is you would say is more "in unison" from the point of view of an allistic person.
It is the same effect when people think they are good at spotting a liar. There are studies that show they are worse or close to random chance. Flipping a coin is as reliable as "listening to your gut".
People that think they are good at communication are the worst because they don't realize how full of shit they are. You can't know how another person feels, they can only tell you. I guess we are back to dunning kruger. Oh, the irony.
- austin-cheney 1y agoI have an autistic child. I know exactly what it means. I understand the motivation to appear somehow different than they are, but nonetheless it is a form of active ritual deception that becomes habit. It does not matter how well intended any given deception may be the audience still sees it as a lie. > It is the same effect when people think they are good at spotting a liar. That is another Dunning-Kruger moment. The only way to be excellent at detecting liars is to be good at convincing liars to expose their own deception either through a confession or through conflicting testimony, and some people are really good at that. Perceptions without evidence are just bias. > People that think they are good at communication Again, self perception does not matter. What matters is the result and this is measurable, as proven by Paul Ekman.
- cardanome 1y ago> Paul Ekman Your knowledge of psychology seems to be outdated by... several decades. I recommend reading "How Emotions Are Made" by Lisa Feldman Barret. If you don't recognize the name Lisa Feldman Barret, please google her. She is very acclaimed in the scientific world. I also highly recommend watching anything by Ember Green, especially this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nnd74yyf4nQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nnd74yyf4nQ Realistically, I know what I am writing is not going to change your mind. It might cause you to get defensive if anything else. But the fact that you have an autistic child and are operating on very outdated scientific ideas make me wish I could somehow. I mean it is not surprising. Those ideas by Paul Ekman are still extremely popular. There are many fraudsters that use them to this day to get government founding and the like. So note that I am not calling you a bad person for falling for this. I am just saying you could be a damn good parent if you updated your views with a bit of more modern psychology.
- austin-cheney 1y agoYour first comment was entirely self focused. Your second comment was exclusively about autism and masking success. Your third comment was about attacking a straw man, Paul Ekman. That is a pattern I have seen before. Nothing you wrote is incorrect, but there is a familiar pattern to it.