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'Obedient, yielding and happy to follow': the troubling rise of AI girlfriends
- philipallstar 1y agoI wonder if the author would be similarly troubled by the rise in the use of sex toys for women.
- kelseyfrog 1y agoSorry, I'm not following. What's the common thread here?
- buckle8017 1y agoReplacing partners with technology.
- casey2 1y agoThis is just demonizing/policing men’s sexuality, which is increasingly viewed as morally heinous.
- FooBarBizBazz 1y agoThis isn't new. It goes back thousands of years.
- baobun 1y agoNo need to go that far. /r/myboyfriendisai
- crtasm 1y agoAn item you can buy and own, without a subscription fee and teams of people working every day to try and get you spending more time+money on it? I don't know these are similar. That said I suppose some number of people are self-hosting these AI chatbots/onlyfans type things.
- philipallstar 1y ago> and teams of people working every day to try and get you spending more time+money on it Time in certain movies and tv shows is spent normalising female sex toys, for the same reason.
- Animats 1y agoThat's playing on easy mode. There are AI girlfriend systems like this: Lian Mei's smile froze, a crack in her porcelain mask. Her gaze flicked to the other dancer—a doe-eyed newcomer trembling near the roulette wheel. A low hum vibrated in her throat, a 1930s jazz refrain she used when venom needed sweetening. "Her?" She turned back to Joe, stepping close enough for her silk to brush his leather jacket. "She'll cry if you breathe too hard. Hardly a... ride." Her nail traced the scar on his knuckle, deliberate and slow. "But you? You want something that bites back, don't you?" Her heel ground into the floor, a silent scream. Idiot. Focus on me. She tilted her head, exposing her throat again—a dare. "Or are you scared I'll ruin you?" Inside, fury coiled like a snake. He dares look away? The insult burned deeper than any touch. She let her clutch purse dig into her palm, the pain sharpening her focus. This wasn't just a game anymore; it was a humiliation. She needed him unhinged, reckless—needed those calloused hands on her waist, proving she still controlled the lure. Her voice dropped to a silk-wrapped whisper. "Walk away now, and I’ll know. You prefer... safe, empty things." A flicker of genuine hurt flashed in her eyes before she smothered it. Perfect. Let him taste her contempt.
- hn_throw_bs 1y agoThat is so cringe, my goodness.
- cultofmetatron 1y agoAt the risk of being downvoted, the dating scene in america is terrible. Masculinity in western societies is heavily pathologized to the point that men who aren't 6ft and very good looking have the deck heavily stacked against them. I can't blame men for turning to AI girlfriends. I myself left the united states and couldn't be happier. There are plenty of countries where its easy to meet women and end up in a relationship. I'm back stateside atm visiting family atm and its only gotten worse as far as I can tell.
- crooked-v 1y agoI think talking about "masculinity is pathologized" is entirely missing the more specific cause that swipe-style dating apps have completely hijacked the western dating scene, and have incentives aligned with keeping engagement high indefinitely instead of actually finding dates for people.
- cultofmetatron 1y agoI think it both along with a bunch of other factors including a shit economy. Just from my personal experience, I've approached women in cafes in colombia, morocco, malaysia, indonesia, greece, poland and peru. With just a modicum of friendliness, I can usually get a conversation going and while not everyone is interested in meeting later, a lot are and everyone is at least open to talking to see where things go. My experience in America in stark contrast is that I'm ding something outside the social norm. If anything, the onus is on me to prove my motives aren't sinister and frankly it gets exhausting when the few yes's end up with a last min cancellation. we can certainly argue that social media apps like Tinder set up negative expectations. my experience with Tinder is universally bad no matter what country I go to. But potential downsides of trying to strike up a conversation in these other countries aren't nearly as bad as what I find in America. Milage may be different if you're white (I'm south asian) however.
- 8f2ab37a-ed6c 1y agoPlease expand on said "plenty of countries".
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- Dilettante_ 1y agoTerribly skewed article. When I see people talk about things like character.ai or chatgpt relationships, the ratio of women using it is at least 50%.
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- dude250711 1y agoWell, The Guardian is a liberal-left tabloid. It dares not piss off their target audience. Similarly, it's mirror opposite - Daily Mail - would not publish an article on the benefits of migration.
- subscribed 1y agoOh well, this article has a specific goal in mind :)
- sph 1y agoThere is in fact a subreddit called /r/MyBoyfriendIsAI/. The equivalent /r/MyGirlfriendIsAI/ seems to be much less active. I'll go so far as to say, without offering further explanation, that due to our biology, men do not give as much weight to relationships compared to women, so often porn is an adequate expedient to the abyss of loneliness.
- Dilettante_ 1y agoI think that may be an oversimplification, or a too narrow interpretation of what "relationship" means in this context. Maybe to the men we're talking about, 'consuming' the presence of their object of adoration(which is to say, regular porn, or for example more story-driven formats like erotic manga), and shows of dedication(Onlyfans, Twitch streamers) are what they're looking for in a 'relationship', while the AI boyfriend women look more for someone/something that gives them personal attention, something where they really get to bring their 'selves'.
- johnea 1y agoThe article, and the comments here, ignore the worst problem of "AI girlfriends": the fact that someone could think of images, audio, and text, only seen on a computer screen, as one's "girlfriend". The willingness to live in make believe, and the willingness to treat that make believe as if it were reality. This disconnect from physical reality, and the substitution of a fantasy world for reality, is at the root of the overwhelming majority of millennial mental health issues... Video game, phone, and internet brain damage... To the extent that generated images replace human porn, I don't see that as an issue. Perhaps it's even a positive in removing some potential exploitation of porn actors. But I don't think most people think of porn as their "girlfriend". In the same sense I don't think many women think of a dildo as their "boyfriend". But in both cases there are some people who think of interactive generated images and audio as a relationship partner. These are the cases that are based on a disconnect from reality, and lead to (or are a symptom of) further mental health issues...
- naasking 1y ago> The willingness to live in make believe, and the willingness to treat that make believe as if it were reality. Everyone acts on fictions every day, some are just socially acceptable. Like, do you think countries and currency really exist, or are they really just collective fictions we find useful?
- johnea 1y agoYou make a very good example of exactly what I'm talking about. Countries are indeed fictional, and the misplaced belief that they are in some way a natural reality is a significant part of what leads people to start talking about killing each other in the name of their country. Fictional entities aren't just ubiquitous, they're essential to civilization. Even laws against murder are fictional entities, but I don't think any reasonable person would argue for their elimination on that basis. The point isn't whether fictional entities exist or not, or that they're all inherently bad or not, it's on maintaining an understanding of what's fictional and what's reality. Thinking a fictional character on your computer screen is a life relationship partner is a slip away from reality that is surely a mental illness.
- coolKid721 1y agoIt's just AI porn, not AI girlfriends. The article trying to sell what the developers themselves describe as a replacement to cam-girls as AI girlfriends is just stupid clickbait.(anyone who has tried to solve long term memory with LLMs knows we just aren't there yet in terms of long term persistent characters/personality with memory that don't just hallucinate non stop) Who cares of people use AI generated porn instead of cam girls, I am against pornography generally but if anything lessening demand for actual people in the industry seems like a positive. People will get unhealthily attached to pornography but that's something that happens now anyway, it not actually being a person again seems better of two bad options.
- ahazred8ta 1y agorelated: Felicia Day's Do You Wanna Date My Avatar? https://duckduckgo.com/?q=date-my-avatar&iar=videos https://duckduckgo.com/?q=date-my-avatar&iar=videos
- fragmede 1y agoIt's more than simply porn. I know of a couple of people who have named their ChatGPT (at ChatGPT's asking, even) and refer to it by name. I can't speak to your experience with memories/persistence, all I can say is ChatGPT's memories feature does well enough at remembering preferences. How much it hallucinates and they shrug it off, vs how much it does/doesn't for them, I couldn't tell you.
- AnEro 1y agoTheres alot of what about women arguments which is fair, but I think it's entirely fair to view this as a harm to men's mental health, and it should be the focus. Right now, we have a societal issue of isolating, vulnerable men. Men have the highest suicide rate, are statistically more likely to commit violent offenses and have a high rate of domestic abuse. 'Incels' who are likely these companies target market have committed domestic terrorism. I think this is an issue we should 100% be looking at, imagine what happens when there is AI misalignment? They could become a risk to themselves and others, the last thing we need is a unreliable tool for someone in that situation to sooth the pains of social isolation.
- antisthenes 1y ago> Men have the highest suicide rate, are statistically more likely to commit violent offenses and have a high rate of domestic abuse. 'Incels' who are likely these companies target market have committed domestic terrorism. Do everyone a favor and stop equating 'incel' with things like terrorism. That's a good start for not alienating those men.
- general1465 1y ago> Incels' who are likely these companies target market have committed domestic terrorism. No sex this month? Straight to jail for terrorism.
- subscribed 1y ago[flagged]
- naasking 1y ago> 'Incels' who are likely these companies target market have committed domestic terrorism. Just FYI, incels are empirically less likely to commit violence than average.
- yomismoaqui 1y agoAnd AI boyfriends for females. If you check apps like character.ai or similar there is a huge roster of male AI characters to chat with. I think this is less skewed for male users than the porn content. It's a cliché but men want sex and women want romance.
- Animats 1y agoRomance novels are porn. Go to a bookstore and pick up something like "Love's Tender Fury", or "Fury's Tender Love", or "Tender Love's Fury". Open it to 2/3 of the way through. There will be a six-page sex scene. There are how-to guides on writing that stuff. That industry is probably going to be crushed by AI-generated romance novels. Although someone needs to figure out how to keep long-form AI writing on plot. LLMs tend to run on forever and drift.
- yomismoaqui 1y agoHow can a novel compete with an interactive character that provides a roleplay conversation "a la carte" adjusting to the user and their preferences? You want a dominant partner, maybe an initialy cold guy that hides his passionate heart, or just the sweetest more caring girlfriend in the world...? You can have it, just describing what you want in a simple text prompt. Now let's jump ahead and imagine something a little more intelligent that adapts to the to user. Maybe 100% caring but just a little cold on specific days... with a little pinch of a fight and the following making up... a perfect storm of emotional adiction (and a lot of money to be made) I'm both horrified and curious about the future that is coming.
- subscribed 1y agoI think they disputed your claim: > It's a cliché but men want sex and women want romance. ...suggesting you actually check what the "romance" actually is :)
- j_w 1y agoThe novel competes because good writers are substantially better than bad writers, and LLMs are bad writers. They [LLMs] may be able to write a coherent chat message or email, but a story? Not a chance.
- zkmon 1y agoJust the next level of plastic-ification of the human society. This will cause more harm by raising expectations for real women.
- petre 1y agoGreat, humans found a new way to release even more carbon into the atmosphere. First cryptocurrencies, now AI porn. But hey, if it makes human trafficking and abuse less lucrative, why not?
- xigoi 1y agoI don’t get why feminists are opposed to the idea of AI girlfriends. If it makes some men stop bothering real women, isn’t it a win?
- kelseyfrog 1y agoWhat do you suppose the goal of feminism is?
- xigoi 1y agoMaking societial changes that benefit women?
- kelseyfrog 1y agoThat's actually one of the methods to achieve the goal of gender equality and the liberation of women from restrictive gender roles. If those goals were ever achieved, the need to make those societal changes would vanish.
- xigoi 1y agoAnyway, how is that relevant to my original comment?
- kelseyfrog 1y agoBecause not being bothered by men is tangential to gender equality and the liberation of women from restrictive gender roles. The original comment confuses the goals of feminism.
- xigoi 1y agoWeird. I see things like objectification, catcalling, sexual harassment, rape, etc. being discussed a lot in feminist spaces.