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There's nothing rude about sending back food that wasn't prepared as ordered. Similarly, there is nothing rude about sending back a genuinely bad bottle of win

There's nothing rude about sending back food that wasn't prepared as ordered. Similarly, there is nothing rude about sending back a genuinely bad bottle of wine. You shouldn't simply eat poor food or drink in a misguided effort to be "nice"; most of the time the restaurant will be happy to get honest feedback, in my experience. I don't doubt that the guy was a jerk about it, but there's nothing wrong with the act in and of itself.

vacri 14y ago
That part of the story set the scene for the rest of it; it wasn't a comment in isolation.
wccrawford 14y ago
This is what I came to say as well, but I'd add that the prices matter, too. At a fancy restaurant, you're paying for quality. At a mom n pop diner, you're paying for food. The breakfast restaurant I eat at daily? I didn't send back food that had a bit of saran wrap in it. (They did, however, notice it and give me the meal for free. I wouldn't have complained, though.) A fancy overpriced restaurant? I'd have the manager over there in an instant. I paid for the service and quality, and I didn't get it. He didn't give any other examples, so we can't be sure exactly how rude this guy was. Being 'brusque' with your managers isn't that bad. It's efficient and they can get back to their jobs, and you yours. Was he actually rude? Did he talk snidely to them, condescend, or call them names? Or was he merely efficient? We can't know, and we have only those 2 examples above to go by.
SilasX 14y ago
Well, I guess there wouldn't be anything wrong with sending back wine, if wine tasters were at all consistent rather than just trying to show off their refinement. Also, of all the times you've eaten the food in a fancy restaurant, what fraction of the time have you wanted to send it back (whether or not you sent it back)? I'm guessing a lot less than a hundred percent. So what are the odds that the writer happened to hit precisely that fraction of times when the restaurant actually did a substandard job (and only for one and the same guest) on two dine-outs in a row? Both of these suggest that the guy just likes making people do more work for him because it can. Sick.
- stephencanon 14y ago
  Wine tasters may not be very consistent, but one doesn't generally send back a bottle of wine simply because it isn't what you expected or you don't like it. You send it back because the bottle is damaged (corked, cooked, oxidized or refermented), about which people can and do agree. As for the odds that both things go awry; they are slim, but non-zero (these things actually do come in bunches; restaurants that have poor quality control for one aspect of the preparation will tend to have poor quality control for other aspects as well, or sometimes you just happen to be there when new staff is being trained). What is important (and not related in the story) is not the fact that he sent them back, but how he sent them back. Politely indicating that a meal is not what you ordered or is in some way flawed is fine. Being a jerk about it is being a jerk. Of course, if you eat multiple meals with someone, and they find some excuse to complain about their food at all of them, then there's a good chance that they're simply a jerk, no matter how nicely they do it.
- dllthomas 14y ago
  > Well, I guess there wouldn't be anything wrong with sending back wine, if wine tasters were at all consistent rather than just trying to show off their refinement. Sending it back in order to signal refinement is jerk behavior, agreed. As to the other half of it, though, why should I have to be consistent? I am paying for a bottle of wine I like. I am paying more for it because society gives us the option of sending it back. If I don't like the wine, or don't think others at the table will, there's nothing wrong with exercising that option - it just needs to be done in good faith.
  - SilasX 14y ago
    I thought that was the point of the rest of the 2nd paragraph: everything we see indicates that he wasn't sending stuff back in good faith, and if it were a blind test between that bottle and the one he deemed acceptable, we can safely say he wouldn't know which one was the good one.
    - dllthomas 14y ago
      Oh, yes, I agree that this guys behavior was probably inappropriate. My post was simply addressing the use of consistency as a metric.

vacri 14y ago

That part of the story set the scene for the rest of it; it wasn't a comment in isolation.

wccrawford 14y ago

This is what I came to say as well, but I'd add that the prices matter, too. At a fancy restaurant, you're paying for quality. At a mom n pop diner, you're paying for food. The breakfast restaurant I eat at daily? I didn't send back food that had a bit of saran wrap in it. (They did, however, notice it and give me the meal for free. I wouldn't have complained, though.) A fancy overpriced restaurant? I'd have the manager over there in an instant. I paid for the service and quality, and I didn't get it. He didn't give any other examples, so we can't be sure exactly how rude this guy was. Being 'brusque' with your managers isn't that bad. It's efficient and they can get back to their jobs, and you yours. Was he actually rude? Did he talk snidely to them, condescend, or call them names? Or was he merely efficient? We can't know, and we have only those 2 examples above to go by.

SilasX 14y ago

Well, I guess there wouldn't be anything wrong with sending back wine, if wine tasters were at all consistent rather than just trying to show off their refinement. Also, of all the times you've eaten the food in a fancy restaurant, what fraction of the time have you wanted to send it back (whether or not you sent it back)? I'm guessing a lot less than a hundred percent. So what are the odds that the writer happened to hit precisely that fraction of times when the restaurant actually did a substandard job (and only for one and the same guest) on two dine-outs in a row? Both of these suggest that the guy just likes making people do more work for him because it can. Sick.

stephencanon 14y ago
Wine tasters may not be very consistent, but one doesn't generally send back a bottle of wine simply because it isn't what you expected or you don't like it. You send it back because the bottle is damaged (corked, cooked, oxidized or refermented), about which people can and do agree. As for the odds that both things go awry; they are slim, but non-zero (these things actually do come in bunches; restaurants that have poor quality control for one aspect of the preparation will tend to have poor quality control for other aspects as well, or sometimes you just happen to be there when new staff is being trained). What is important (and not related in the story) is not the fact that he sent them back, but how he sent them back. Politely indicating that a meal is not what you ordered or is in some way flawed is fine. Being a jerk about it is being a jerk. Of course, if you eat multiple meals with someone, and they find some excuse to complain about their food at all of them, then there's a good chance that they're simply a jerk, no matter how nicely they do it.
dllthomas 14y ago
> Well, I guess there wouldn't be anything wrong with sending back wine, if wine tasters were at all consistent rather than just trying to show off their refinement. Sending it back in order to signal refinement is jerk behavior, agreed. As to the other half of it, though, why should I have to be consistent? I am paying for a bottle of wine I like. I am paying more for it because society gives us the option of sending it back. If I don't like the wine, or don't think others at the table will, there's nothing wrong with exercising that option - it just needs to be done in good faith.
- SilasX 14y ago
  I thought that was the point of the rest of the 2nd paragraph: everything we see indicates that he wasn't sending stuff back in good faith, and if it were a blind test between that bottle and the one he deemed acceptable, we can safely say he wouldn't know which one was the good one.
  - dllthomas 14y ago
    Oh, yes, I agree that this guys behavior was probably inappropriate. My post was simply addressing the use of consistency as a metric.