3 ms·

I think it's more about the concept of mental isolation than some magic hard number of "friends" (whatever way you define it). You can have 100 close friends th

I think it's more about the concept of mental isolation than some magic hard number of "friends" (whatever way you define it). You can have 100 close friends that you regularly talk to and hang out with in your free time and still have noone to talk to regarding certain issues. Speeking from a military/PTSD perspective, a single person who you might not even share that much with but who you can talk to about a particularly traumatic thing might be worth more than all close friends and family in the world. Because they will never understand what you really feel like since none of them have experienced it.

SoftTalker 1y ago
It's a real test of how real a friendship is. There are lots of people who enjoy spending time together, talking, laughing, remembering the good times, everything's great. But start to open up about some real trauma and you will drive 90% of them away.
- jancsika 1y ago
  That's easy. Just search instead for 100 duck-sized horses capable of tiny acts of kindness and understanding. Much higher success rate, much lower variance.
- 77pt77 1y ago
  [dead]
- rsanek 1y ago
  Varies by friend. Some are open to it, others not so much. In general I've found that talking about trauma with friends isn't very useful even if they are willing to engage.
- watwut 1y ago
  They dont have tools, dont know what to do. But more importantly, someone who was in the same situation or did not studied it a lot is simply incapable to truly understand. They can nod, listen, validate, but wont be able to puzzle out half said things, badly expressed things. They won't be able to see logical consequences of what you talk about unless you point them out. Meanwhile, someone with the same experience, even if not friend, will be able to understand much more and more easily. It is not so much about some moral or relational failure on their side, it is simply that it is impossible to imagine feelings and situations you never had.

SoftTalker 1y ago

It's a real test of how real a friendship is. There are lots of people who enjoy spending time together, talking, laughing, remembering the good times, everything's great. But start to open up about some real trauma and you will drive 90% of them away.

jancsika 1y ago
That's easy. Just search instead for 100 duck-sized horses capable of tiny acts of kindness and understanding. Much higher success rate, much lower variance.
77pt77 1y ago
[dead]
rsanek 1y ago
Varies by friend. Some are open to it, others not so much. In general I've found that talking about trauma with friends isn't very useful even if they are willing to engage.
watwut 1y ago
They dont have tools, dont know what to do. But more importantly, someone who was in the same situation or did not studied it a lot is simply incapable to truly understand. They can nod, listen, validate, but wont be able to puzzle out half said things, badly expressed things. They won't be able to see logical consequences of what you talk about unless you point them out. Meanwhile, someone with the same experience, even if not friend, will be able to understand much more and more easily. It is not so much about some moral or relational failure on their side, it is simply that it is impossible to imagine feelings and situations you never had.