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I think that it's actually not an IRL vs Internet discussion dichotomy FWIW, that oversimplifies things a bit too much. For example, I think sympathy and empath

by jchw 1y ago

I think that it's actually not an IRL vs Internet discussion dichotomy FWIW, that oversimplifies things a bit too much. For example, I think sympathy and empathy increases as you go from public interaction in major social platform -> 1-on-1 direct message -> audio call -> video call -> IRL private conversation. Many reasons really. Public interactions have public scrutiny, it often is more of a performance than an authentic social interaction. Text conversations are low bandwidth. All internet conversation carries the burden that things you say may be recorded and used against you. And of course, seeing and hearing a human on the other end just naturally will increase empathy. I hear what you're saying, but I think you are looking at this wrong. I'm not suggesting that IRL social interactions are perfect and Internet ones are hopelessly broken. We have plenty of history to show how IRL social interactions can break down, in small groups or big. What I'm saying is that IRL interactions are better on average than Internet interactions, largely due to the modality and venue that most Internet interactions occur. Edit: also, it is worth noting that there are definitely robust studies that can back up some of these ideas, which may be a good data point to add into this discussion. That said, I am honestly too lazy to go cite sources right now, to be completely honest with you. (And I know HN is rightly a bit skeptical of psychology studies, since you can pretty much find something to validate anything you want, but there are some actually good and interesting ones.)

awesome_dude 1y ago
I think that we're going to have to agree to disagree here. I've definitely had online discussions that were orders of magnitude more productive than the best IRL conversations on similar subjects, because people felt more free to contribute. It's so much more productive online that I look for communities that discuss those subjects (eg. Twitter when it was good, or Reddit). I avoid that IRL because it's so poor.
- jchw 1y ago
  On an individual level, there's always going to be people whose experiences don't match the average, but I really do believe most Internet conversation isn't particularly productive. I'm not saying I don't have productive Internet conversation, though. Anyway, it seems like we're at an impasse, but I may as well link some references that back up what I'm trying to say. There was this fascinating experiment posted recently to HN, "30 minutes with a stranger": https://pudding.cool/2025/06/hello-stranger/ https://pudding.cool/2025/06/hello-stranger/ - conversation here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45124003 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45124003 Publications regarding how people are exposed to opposing viewpoints online and how that influences polarization: "How digital media drive affective polarization through partisan sorting" https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2207159119 https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2207159119 "How Many People Live in Political Bubbles on Social Media?" https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2158244019832705 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2158244019832705 "Like-minded sources on Facebook are prevalent but not polarizing" https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-023-06297-w https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-023-06297-w
  - awesome_dude 1y ago
    > On an individual level, there's always going to be people whose experiences don't match the average, but I really do believe most Internet conversation isn't particularly productive. I'm not saying I don't have productive Internet conversation, though. Just wanted to say, as soon as I saw this I clapped my forehead - I'd provided an anecdote as data :(
    - verisimi 1y ago
      Tangential, but any individual only knows their 'anecdotal experience'. It is one's golden source. No one knows 'the average'. One can read a science paper or watch a video that purports to present the average opinion, but even then all one knows it's what the paper or video states, as that is the limit of one's personal experience.

by jchw 1y ago

awesome_dude 1y ago

I think that we're going to have to agree to disagree here. I've definitely had online discussions that were orders of magnitude more productive than the best IRL conversations on similar subjects, because people felt more free to contribute. It's so much more productive online that I look for communities that discuss those subjects (eg. Twitter when it was good, or Reddit). I avoid that IRL because it's so poor.

jchw 1y ago
On an individual level, there's always going to be people whose experiences don't match the average, but I really do believe most Internet conversation isn't particularly productive. I'm not saying I don't have productive Internet conversation, though. Anyway, it seems like we're at an impasse, but I may as well link some references that back up what I'm trying to say. There was this fascinating experiment posted recently to HN, "30 minutes with a stranger": https://pudding.cool/2025/06/hello-stranger/ https://pudding.cool/2025/06/hello-stranger/ - conversation here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45124003 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45124003 Publications regarding how people are exposed to opposing viewpoints online and how that influences polarization: "How digital media drive affective polarization through partisan sorting" https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2207159119 https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2207159119 "How Many People Live in Political Bubbles on Social Media?" https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2158244019832705 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2158244019832705 "Like-minded sources on Facebook are prevalent but not polarizing" https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-023-06297-w https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-023-06297-w
- awesome_dude 1y ago
  > On an individual level, there's always going to be people whose experiences don't match the average, but I really do believe most Internet conversation isn't particularly productive. I'm not saying I don't have productive Internet conversation, though. Just wanted to say, as soon as I saw this I clapped my forehead - I'd provided an anecdote as data :(
  - verisimi 1y ago
    Tangential, but any individual only knows their 'anecdotal experience'. It is one's golden source. No one knows 'the average'. One can read a science paper or watch a video that purports to present the average opinion, but even then all one knows it's what the paper or video states, as that is the limit of one's personal experience.