i'm not going to get on a soapbox if i can't understand a caber toss, curling, cheese rolling, qudditch or sepak takraw headline, and but i will climb that tall

i'm not going to get on a soapbox if i can't understand a caber toss, curling, cheese rolling, qudditch or sepak takraw headline, and but i will climb that tallest soapbox in the middle of three and complain if headlines are all so unwieldy that i can glean all the info i don't know about every sport also, a "16-in circumference softball" article still wouldn't even be allowed into the EU as it's not metric.