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I want to be left alone (2024)
- chris-bzst 1y ago[dead]
- deleted 1y ago[deleted]
- markus_zhang 1y agoTBH I have a full family and I want to be left alone for at least half of the time. Damn I was so stupid and weak to NOT stay alone.
- polishdude20 1y agoIf you'd go back in time would you just choose to stay single?
- markus_zhang 1y agoGiven that I retain all these memories, I think I'd probably just walk away from marriage quietly. Kinda feel not my type of life style and needs too much twist to adjust into.
- rootusrootus 1y agoI feel this so, so much. The internet was so much better before it got commercialized and polluted with non-stop politics, hype, influencer crap, etc. I just want to be left alone, I know what I want, I don't want you to try and force it on me, trick me into it, etc. I want to have a functioning email account my friends can use where the messages won't get drowned in a sea of spam. I want a phone that only rings when someone I know calls. We've created such a shithole, a perfect mirror of society I guess.
- reliabilityguy 1y ago> The internet was so much better before it got commercialized I wonder if we can say the same about our streets (billboards, neon signs, etc etc) compared to, say, streets 200 years ago?
- esseph 1y agoI know a few towns in various US places that do things like: 1. Prohibiting large signs that can be seen from far away 2. No stores over 2 stories tall 3. No big box / chains stores And wow, those places are magical!
- jonathanlb 1y agoAlaska, Hawaii, Maine, and Vermont seem to think so. They outlawed billboards to maintain the natural beauty of their state. https://www.billboardsin.com/states-where-billboards-are-banned https://www.billboardsin.com/states-where-billboards-are-ban...
- el_memorioso 1y agoYes, we can. A couple of years ago I drove through Maine and Vermont, and it was absolutely beautiful. Not only because of the natural beauty of those places, but because of the lack of billboards anywhere. It was nice to just enjoy the scenery without being constantly bombarded by ads. The city of São Paulo also banned ads a while back and it made the city a nicer environment to live in and revealed the beauty of some of the architecture that was previously hidden by masses of billboards.
- galoisscobi 1y agoNot an option with modern UX. It's yes or maybe later.
- EGreg 1y agoMy car keeps telling me to bring it in for Inspection B. No matter how many times I cancel, next time it comes back. I guess eventually people do it just so the message goes away. Remember when cars started beeping until you put on your seat belt?
- vel0city 1y agoIf you did your scheduled maintenance on your own by the book, you would have done the right button combo to actually clear the maintenance notification. Or if you took it to a competent shop they would have done it for you. I'd highly recommend doing the scheduled maintenance on your car. Whether at a dealer, at your trusted shop, or on your own. For your own safety and those around you.
- photonthug 1y agoYou're acting like this is related to necessary maintenance / safety, why give corporate the benefit of the doubt without knowing about the vehicle involved? Even things like washing machines and coffee makers will soft-brick themselves these days asking you to "start self clean-cycle with Foo(tm) substance" and then won't perform their function without some kind of forced reset. That part of the airplane ride where the PA is blasting some kind of "join our miles club" literally at a captive audience with no choice but to listen? It's not safety related either. My headphones that I would like to use to drown out the PA advertisement literally stop working if they detect speech, and the only way to disable this "feature" is to download their app. This is just growth-hacking "zero-cost advertisements to a targeted audience" stuff that's extremely disrespectful at best, and kinda looks like it's edging closer to threats and extortion.
- vel0city 1y ago
- dvt 1y agoThis gives a little "old man yells at cloud" vibes. Like, I get that some people are more misanthropic than others, but I personally have forgotten about appointments so text reminders were nice, I'm in plenty of Discord servers, getting help can be nice sometimes, etc. Even if you're not religious or spiritual (which I would bet the author isn't), at the very least the natural process of evolution seems to value the idea of community and togetherness, so shunning it seems a bit shortsighted.
- ryandrake 1y agoI don't think this rant is about misanthropy. It's about consent and about the exhaustion of having to defend your own attention everywhere you go and no matter what you do. Companies need to stop trying to get us to engage with them.
- dvt 1y agoIt absolutely is about misanthropy. You can't convince me that these have anything to do with your attention, it's mostly just being a dick to people that work in the service industry: > Do you need help with self-checkout? No, I want to be left alone. > Do you want to leave a tip? No, I want to be left alone. > Do you want to round-up? No, I want to be left alone. > Do you want to leave a review? No, I want to be left alone. It's extremely obvious the guy has never worked as a barista, bartender, waiter, or salesperson, because I've dealt with people like this in real life and it's as exhausting as his post.
- ryandrake 1y agoOK so you're ignoring the rest of the page and zeroing in on one or two lines, trying to make this specifically about tipping and service workers. This is not a personal rant against baristas and bartenders. It's a general plea to companies to stop trying to grab our attention and get us to do things. What does "turn on notifications" have to do with service workers? What does "give us your phone number to get a coupon" have to do with service workers? What does "subscribe to our newsletter" have to do with service workers? What does "sign up for our credit card" have to do with service workers? It just sounds like you have an axe to grind and picked this article to do it.
- awalsh128 1y agoDon't forget when you choose to opt-out but then start getting random spam from other businesses because they sold your email address. Also fun is when they send email anyways.
- arjvik 1y ago> Do you want to pet my cat? Yes. Yes I do. :)
- Mistletoe 1y agoI actually love text reminders of doctor appointments so I don’t forget them. The rest I can pretty much agree with.
- loloquwowndueo 1y agoI’m perfectly capable of adding an appointment in my phone’s calendar and set up an alert to remind me, thank you very much. (And actually when the doctor sends an email confirmation that the appointment was booked, the phone offers to put it in the calendar automagically)
- Mistletoe 1y agoYeah I don’t have to do any of that if I get a text.
- loloquwowndueo 1y agoAh the joys of getting through life with a simple dumb phone.
- nixosbestos 1y agoHeard, felt, strong agree. It's like trying to explain how irrationally upset I am that Liberty Mutual is sending physical mail to my parents house. I do not reside there. I do not reside in the US. I am neither a candidate nor even able to take advantage of any of their products. But they bought my info, and so now USPS is delivering this trash into "my" mailbox (my mom texts, opens it, scans it, etc). I will NEVER buy anything from a flyer. So I'm going to idle, every working hour next week, on the phone with Liberty Mutual sales staff. If they can harass me and waste my time, why can't I do it right back? It's like last year when 3 different airlines opted me into text alerts. I was already getting them in-app and in-email. Honestly I think people are so absent minded, distracted, ADHD-Y that they don't even realize how intrusive and annoying this deluge of consumerist capitalist sludge is to your mental state. Of course people also think I'm crazy when I tell them my phone stays in DND mode.
- pbreit 1y agoHow people feel about the government.
- satisfice 1y agoNot how I feel. I like government. I want to be left alone WITH my government-- who I think of as my fellow citizens trying to do their best.
- bdangubic 1y agoamazing there are still people like (I mean this sincerely!) who think this way. fellow citizens trying to do their best is about as far removed of realities of my government (usa) that it is almost surreal reading your words
- wrs 1y agoThere are many, many US government employees this accurately describes. Well, to be clear, many of them just got fired.
- ericjmorey 1y agoThere were a lot of people trying to do the best they can and doing great things until Trump started fucking that up by firing them. Now there are 10s of thousands of people getting paid not to do what used to be their jobs. and many more not getting paid at all. Trump's attacks on competency are going to be felt for the rest of our lives.
- satisfice 1y agoI know. Someone people are so distrustful of the government that when they take it over they MAKE it untrustworthy to retrospectively prove that they were "right."
- dghlsakjg 1y agoThere are many levels of government that provide many levels of service. When I encounter this sentiment it is almost always from someone that has never lived in a country with a dysfunctional government. Despite all of the well publicized and fair criticisms of governance in the US, you still live in a place where you can - for one of many examples - count on the water being safe to drink in 99% of circumstances (I grew up in Lima, where not only was the water unsafe to drink, it frequently just wasn't on. Every house had a backup water tank. That's the level of service in a good neighborhood in the Capitol). Go spend some time outside the US in a non tourist area, in a developing country. The level of functionality when you come back to the US will be a palpable relief.
- resonious 1y ago> Thank you for reading! If you would like to comment on this post you can start a conversation on the Fediverse. No, I want to be left alone.
- catpetter 1y agoI want to pet your cat, though.
- wltr 1y agoI’d prefer you to not touching my cat, sorry!
- sroussey 1y agoOn the Fediverse, you are alone.
- AndrewKemendo 1y agoMy thoughts exactly The pervasiveness of “I only want to interact with others on my terms” is one of the most alienating parts of humanity I think it’s a common feeling which tells you something about the absurdity of the human condition
- trimethylpurine 1y agoThe world used to provide social interaction without a marketing predicate. The statement is only alienating outside that context. Terrifying.
- fsflover 1y agoThere's no better communication channel than one based on open standards and free software. I don't understand your problem.
- roncesvalles 1y agoThe irony is so palpable. Reminds me of that Season 1 Black Mirror episode starring Daniel Kaluuya where he goes on a rant holding a shard of glass to his neck and at the very end it's revealed that he sold out to the very system that he's ranting about.
- sneak 1y agoYou seem to be a minority. Consider for a moment that the default behavior of the gmail app is to make a notification for each and every incoming new email. Look at a normal person’s email inbox sometime. Most people use default settings and are barely even aware that it’s configurable. They just put the info in the boxes until it stopped giving red exclamation marks and smashed the big button at the bottom without reading the field labels, the checkbox labels, or even the big button label. Users don’t read, and most people aren’t as busy as us. They spend 3 hours a day watching television, a few more playing video games, have never heard the term “inbox zero”, and don’t know any of the steps to make that red bubble that says “65,535” on the gmail icon go away.
- adamhartenz 1y agoI think you just proved the point. These people want to be left alone more than you. You seem find dealing with notification. Other people just ignore it, because for whatever reason they leave the default settings. But they really don't care about the wall of notifications sent at them. They just want to be left alone.
- jackvalentine 1y agoI bought a 5 year old Lenovo x13 and installed Debian on it, haven’t used linux in years but wanted to play around. Installed, logged in for the first time and got the ‘welcome to KDE’ screen, dismissed it and then… nothing. Every time I log in… nothing. It just sits there waiting for me to do something. It doesn’t tell me to do anything. I’ve been mostly using it to play Civ2.
- OsrsNeedsf2P 1y agoBut how are they going to make money?
- tomrod 1y agoThrough selling durable goods that don't have planned obsolescence
- M95D 1y ago... until everyone has one. Don't you see that the "make money" is the actual problem?
- nurettin 1y agoAnd what is your solution? Abolish the medium which humanity uses to freely exchange goods and services?
- dumbledoren 1y agoHe used 'money' for 'profits' apparently. Profitmaking is the problem. Money is just a vehicle. And you can abolish profit-making through an open-source world: Projects can get started to create infinitely repairable, durable, and modular products based on standards instead of profit-making through planned obsolescence or farcical 'new features'. These products can get used and maintained by their users for decades.
- satisfice 1y agoNo one commenting here wants to be left alone. No one reading the piece in the first place wants to be left alone. If you wanted that, you wouldn't say to yourself "I wonder what this guy has to say" and then click his thing. I read and leave comments on Hacker News for two reasons: I want to know I'm not alone, I want to be helpful.
- photonthug 1y agoThis misses the point completely? Wanting to know that you're not alone and wanting to be left alone are completely different, despite the word choice. Surely you realize this. Saying that "I prefer to avoid unsolicited harassment from corporate interests" is hardly the same as saying "I'm an unapologetic misanthrope".
- satisfice 1y agoI do see your point. It's just that when someone says "I want to be left alone" a hundred times, I start to think they want to be left alone. "Leave me alone" is different from "I want to be left alone." The second implies you want to be left alone by everyone.
- deleted 1y ago[deleted]
- Waterluvian 1y agoThis would be a good checklist self test. Because I bet you most of us say yes to a bunch of these but not always the same ones.
- deleted 1y ago[deleted]
- deleted 1y ago[deleted]
- tonymet 1y agoMy boomeritis flares up when I’m asked to “confirm” my appointment. It was confirmed when we made it. Are you asking me to “re-confirm” the appointment ? Now I’m not sure if we had one to begin with. No I don’t want to confirm it. I want to show up and have you ready , like you’re supposed to
- muppetman 1y agoboomeritis! I have never read this before and I love it.
- tonymet 1y agoI’m flattered. But be careful once it flares up there’s no remedy .
- awesome_dude 1y agoMumble: "We have 3 pm on Tuesday available, would you like that to be booked for you" Me: Yes please Mumble: "I'm sorry, that time is not available, can we find you another time that would suit" Me: Why you little....
- tonymet 1y agoThis happened just yesterday for a critical (I mean life or death) appt
- aag 1y agoAnd don't tell me I have an appointment for 2pm so I should show up at 1:45pm. That means the appointment is at 1:45pm. Just say so.
- us-merul 1y agoI had to show up for something 10 minutes early or else the appointment would be cancelled (at least according to the form). Kind of defeats the purpose of setting the time I chose.
- neuralkoi 1y agoThe most valuable thing you have is your attention, everyone out there is going to fight tooth and nail for it, especially if they can make a dollar. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ii4YJK_-RTk https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ii4YJK_-RTk
- jbmsf 1y agoBartleby was right.
- dfabulich 1y agoOne of these things is not like the others! > Do you want to go ad free? No, I want to be left alone. The ads, by definition, won't leave you alone.
- _knzv 1y ago[dead]
- kazinator 1y ago> Do you want to sign up for our credit card? No, I want to be left alone. Wrong answer! "I already have one!" Instant pitch snuffer-outer.
- rgmerk 1y agoApple gets this better than any other company IMO. You literally pay a premium to be bothered less than the alternatives.
- tomrod 1y agoI don't really trust apple all that much. Especially when there is better OS and devices. Though I know a few devs who prefer it.
- mudkipdev 1y agoCan you give an example of the alternatives?
- rgmerk 1y agoWindows on the desktop. Android phone.
- politelemon 1y agoYou have misunderstood the "this" aspect in a zeal to advertise a brand. It's not about notifications, it's the letting you do things on your terms and getting out of your way. Which apple certainly doesn't do, you do it on their terms.
- snowe2010 1y agoIn what way does Apple not do that? Pretty sure the article is about getting bombarded by notifications and updates, which Apple doesn’t really do.
- JeanMii 1y agoModern OS X is crap in that matter. Installing open source software not recognized by Apple you must go into the security settings, toggle authorizations etc. When you first boot your mac your dock is cluttered by Apple Apps I never use. Got regular prompts to use Apple Intelligence. Everytime I do a major update I get notifications for the new features, and if I don't do their onboarding they keep coming back. Popups "do you want to update now or this night" It's crazy because 10 years ago it was windows and android doing thoses things, now even iOS is a mess of user experience. Now it's cluttered by features added years over years that haven't been thought as whole, neither ergonomic or intuitive whereas the Google pixel experience is pretty minimalist in comparison (and from the maker of google ads and YouTube I still have a hard time believing it). Windows 11 I opted out of their cortana/copilot/edge at launch they never bothered since. I never get any prompts to try new features. Even the updates are well managed, you don't get any notification it's a choice on the power down menu. Though Windows 11 on a cheap computer can be loaded with tons of crap theses days.
- monkeyelite 1y agoCompanies do have an ego-centric view of relationships. Of course our customers want to know what's happening. Of course they want to sign into our website and see their account. And all of the measures that the article is complaining about do help with usability metrics - especially when measured in a fake corporate study. It's much harder to consider the role we want technology to play holistically as a part of an entire life.
- ryandrake 1y agoI want to go back to buying devices where I don't have to maintain some kind of stupid relationship with the manufacturer for the product's lifetime, like requiring an account or an app with constant updates. Manufacturers, leave me alone! No, I don't want to have to create and maintain a fucking Sonos account, I just want a speaker that plays music.
- tqi 1y agoSorry you can't freeload in peace? Everything this guy complains about is to some degree how the entity they are interacting with pays their bills. If he hates it so much, maybe he should leave.
- BLKNSLVR 1y agoSince moving the GrapheneOS and basically re-setting up the phone from scratch, I've been choosing No to the inevitable "allow Notifications" permission request upon successful install (or first run). There are just so many fewer distraction events coming from the damn device. It's almost peaceful. I can forget that it's there and get on with the things I want to, or should be, doing. I've also had mini-rants before about the unimportance of email communication; having notifications about the receipt of an email is as useful as a reminder to breathe (with some edge cases that if you set things up correctly, can be managed). Email, SMS, chat apps aren't real-time communications. If it's important I'll get a phone call - and only my chosen contacts cause the device to make a sound. (This isn't about GrapheneOS, it's about choosing sanity at the time the initial choice is requested after having the experience to know what I want and what I don't. But GrapheneOS is great, for separate reasons).
- aulisius 1y agoThis reads like something Bo Burnham would write/perform.
- sometimes_all 1y agoFrom where I'm from, there's a saying (badly paraphrased): "only the shopkeeper who talks well can get his stuff sold". Most of which the OP talks about is marketing, and marketing is a given, else the business will have a hard time existing. If businesses need to make an effort towards marketing, it follows that counterparties will need to make an effort to block out that marketing if they do not want it. And the more aggressive marketing I get, the more aggressive I become about blocking it: - giving more or all my business to companies who do leave me alone - throwaway / hide-my emails - unsubscribing, or even better, marking as spam - not downloading unnecessary apps, and turning notifications off for most of them - complaints to telecom operator for spam calls and messages (government has actually started taking strict action against these recently) - complaints for bad behavior, in very public platforms - actively making sure to delete accounts when no longer needed Companies spend real money to reach me. So I return the favor and spend some time to ensure that I throw them off my lawn.
- tonymet 1y agoMcDonald’s app is the sleaziest and clumsiest example of spammy user hostile anti patterns . It takes at least 12 screens to order. The app actually locks you out when a coupon is used , and warns you. They took the cheerful and effortless order experience and turned it into filing taxes .
- raffael_de 1y agoThank you for reading! If you would like to comment on this post you can start a conversation on the Fediverse. Message me on Mastodon at @cinimodev@masto.ctms.me. Or, you may email me at blog.discourse904@8alias.com. This is an intentionally masked email address that will be forwarded to the correct inbox. That post aged like milk.
- insane_dreamer 1y agoI waste so much time deleting spam mail (which I have to scan through to make sure nothing actually important got caught in the filter), deleting ultra-personalized spam marketing that isn’t caught by a filer and which I have to scan to determine that it’s not from a valid business contact, answering/not answering robo calls (again requires determining whether to answer or not), clicking away subscriber popups, turning off all notifications for some service (all on be default of course, and these are paid services), sorting through and throwing away 90% of the postal mail to my house. It’s exhausting and I hate it all.