This feels like a false dichotomy. Is it really abandoning the truth to make the effort to give equal or greater weight to "something is wrong with the company

This feels like a false dichotomy. Is it really abandoning the truth to make the effort to give equal or greater weight to "something is wrong with the company for not hiring me" as "something is wrong with me for not getting a job at the company"? In this case, you cannot know the actual truth (unless you really did screw up, but I've never seen anything about CBT that says "ignore your mistakes"), so why should you take 100% of the blame? BRW, I hope it doesn't sound like I'm trying to convince you to give CBT another shot. I have a lot of respect for people who have found their "happy" place. I would just hate to see somebody else not try it because they think it means becoming self-delusional. As somebody who suffers from "if it went wrong, it's my fault" syndrome, I can attest that, in reality, I'm really not that important.