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Listen, I am 30 now. Not too old, still missing plenty of experiences in life. But I know what stuff I do not like, and I won't force myself to try and like the

by zwnow 1y ago

Listen, I am 30 now. Not too old, still missing plenty of experiences in life. But I know what stuff I do not like, and I won't force myself to try and like them. I hate sports, I tried liking it, did not work out (heh pun intended). I hate cooking, I try it every other day, I will never like it. Its okay not to like things.

kingkawn 1y ago
How are you an old curmudgeon at 30
- neutronicus 1y ago
  Hasn't had kids to push the Reset button, probably.
  - zwnow 1y ago
    I am fully against forcing kids into this world with the way things are currently going. If I see a future I'd want to live in I'll think about kids.
    - juanani 1y ago
      [dead]
    - neutronicus 1y ago
      Fair perspective. Honestly, for me the joy of life was front-loaded. Childhood was great, lot of stress and alienation since, with joy taken where I can find it but not a typical condition. My almost-six-year-old seems to be loving childhood as well, so I hope that even if things go really pear-shaped for civilization in the next couple decades he'll regard having lived as a net win.
- zwnow 1y ago
  Long time depression, father dead at 15, half of family dead since, possibly adhd, moved places like 8 times, poor (thankfully no debt), balding, never had a relationship, constant anger due to the stupidity of other people (when reading comments on news articles as an example), and and and...
  - coldpie 1y ago
    > constant anger due to the stupidity of other people (when reading comments on news articles as an example) Holy cow dude, cut this one right the fuck out. Absolutely eliminate that portion of your day. Cold turkey straight to zero. Right now. Reading Internet comments that make you angry is like choosing to stick your face in the exhaust of a diesel truck. There's no reason to do it. Just don't.
    - zwnow 1y ago
      I get that. For lots of articles there are people giving additional context which i find highly interesting. As a German, nowadays I just see a lot of hate towards immigrants or women, which deeply saddens me.
      - coldpie 1y ago
        It's your life, but I promise you no amount of "highly interesting" is worth "constant anger." If you stop reading that garbage for a couple weeks, I promise you will wonder why on Earth you were ever wasting your time on it.
  - kingkawn 1y ago
    Sounds like you need some you time
    - zwnow 1y ago
      I got 30 years of me time
      - 1y ago
jraph 1y ago
> I know what stuff I do not like You know that there are some things you don't like almost for sure. That makes all the difference. I'm slightly older than you and keep running into things I used to dislike and that I surprisingly dislike less now. And that feels good. Keeping the door open on disliking less seems critical to me. edit: read your other comment, good luck, I wish you the best and I hope you can enjoy more things as time passes and find a path that suits you!
magicmicah85 1y ago
I hate cooking...for others. Three kids, wife - everyone has a different taste. I put peppers in pasta sauce, my boys won't eat it. I make it a bit too spicy, my wife won't eat it. I had a joy for cooking when I was younger because I surprised myself with how tasty I could make things but constantly trying to please family is just grueling as it's required to do the lowest common denominator. But I agree overall with your point. There are some things that I just will never like. I will try new things, but I quickly realize I'm not vibing with it and need to stop pretending.
- carlosjobim 1y ago
  Just let them go hungry if they don't want to eat it. Hunger is the best spice, so eventually they'll eat or make something themselves. Going without food for a day won't kill anybody.
PaulKeeble 1y ago
In order to be sure you don't like something you have to try it a number of times before you can sure you dislike it. But its also important to assess what you dislike about it to ensure its not peer/societal pressure based or other potential assaults on the self rather than core to you.
captaincrisp 1y ago
100%. I think the article makes space for this, too. In 3, 4, and 5 the author describes the experience of bouncing off of something despite trying to like it as well as _thinking_ you like something despite not _really_ liking it. Both types of experiences resonated with me. I think the key here is that you did try, you gave cooking and sports an honest chance, and it turns out that you're not into them. It doesn't feel like many people would put the effort in to really figure out if they _would_ like something that's initially uncomfortable or difficult. I think that's what the article is responding to - I read the overall thesis as "you might actually end up liking something that you don't like initially" rather than "you will like anything given enough effort".
- zwnow 1y ago
  Ah I can see that as well, I think you should discover new stuff all the time, but for some things you just know you won't like it, despite never having tried. Karaoke for me.

by zwnow 1y ago

kingkawn 1y ago

How are you an old curmudgeon at 30

neutronicus 1y ago
Hasn't had kids to push the Reset button, probably.
- zwnow 1y ago
  I am fully against forcing kids into this world with the way things are currently going. If I see a future I'd want to live in I'll think about kids.
  - juanani 1y ago
    [dead]
  - neutronicus 1y ago
    Fair perspective. Honestly, for me the joy of life was front-loaded. Childhood was great, lot of stress and alienation since, with joy taken where I can find it but not a typical condition. My almost-six-year-old seems to be loving childhood as well, so I hope that even if things go really pear-shaped for civilization in the next couple decades he'll regard having lived as a net win.
zwnow 1y ago
Long time depression, father dead at 15, half of family dead since, possibly adhd, moved places like 8 times, poor (thankfully no debt), balding, never had a relationship, constant anger due to the stupidity of other people (when reading comments on news articles as an example), and and and...
- coldpie 1y ago
  > constant anger due to the stupidity of other people (when reading comments on news articles as an example) Holy cow dude, cut this one right the fuck out. Absolutely eliminate that portion of your day. Cold turkey straight to zero. Right now. Reading Internet comments that make you angry is like choosing to stick your face in the exhaust of a diesel truck. There's no reason to do it. Just don't.
  - zwnow 1y ago
    I get that. For lots of articles there are people giving additional context which i find highly interesting. As a German, nowadays I just see a lot of hate towards immigrants or women, which deeply saddens me.
    - coldpie 1y ago
      It's your life, but I promise you no amount of "highly interesting" is worth "constant anger." If you stop reading that garbage for a couple weeks, I promise you will wonder why on Earth you were ever wasting your time on it.
- kingkawn 1y ago
  Sounds like you need some you time
  - zwnow 1y ago
    I got 30 years of me time
    - 1y ago

jraph 1y ago

> I know what stuff I do not like You know that there are some things you don't like almost for sure. That makes all the difference. I'm slightly older than you and keep running into things I used to dislike and that I surprisingly dislike less now. And that feels good. Keeping the door open on disliking less seems critical to me. edit: read your other comment, good luck, I wish you the best and I hope you can enjoy more things as time passes and find a path that suits you!

magicmicah85 1y ago

I hate cooking...for others. Three kids, wife - everyone has a different taste. I put peppers in pasta sauce, my boys won't eat it. I make it a bit too spicy, my wife won't eat it. I had a joy for cooking when I was younger because I surprised myself with how tasty I could make things but constantly trying to please family is just grueling as it's required to do the lowest common denominator. But I agree overall with your point. There are some things that I just will never like. I will try new things, but I quickly realize I'm not vibing with it and need to stop pretending.

carlosjobim 1y ago
Just let them go hungry if they don't want to eat it. Hunger is the best spice, so eventually they'll eat or make something themselves. Going without food for a day won't kill anybody.

PaulKeeble 1y ago

In order to be sure you don't like something you have to try it a number of times before you can sure you dislike it. But its also important to assess what you dislike about it to ensure its not peer/societal pressure based or other potential assaults on the self rather than core to you.

captaincrisp 1y ago

100%. I think the article makes space for this, too. In 3, 4, and 5 the author describes the experience of bouncing off of something despite trying to like it as well as _thinking_ you like something despite not _really_ liking it. Both types of experiences resonated with me. I think the key here is that you did try, you gave cooking and sports an honest chance, and it turns out that you're not into them. It doesn't feel like many people would put the effort in to really figure out if they _would_ like something that's initially uncomfortable or difficult. I think that's what the article is responding to - I read the overall thesis as "you might actually end up liking something that you don't like initially" rather than "you will like anything given enough effort".

zwnow 1y ago
Ah I can see that as well, I think you should discover new stuff all the time, but for some things you just know you won't like it, despite never having tried. Karaoke for me.