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My kids learning to ride a bike - the moment you release your hand for the first time and they just go and go. When my son learned checkers, and then when he be

My kids learning to ride a bike - the moment you release your hand for the first time and they just go and go. When my son learned checkers, and then when he beat me the first time. When my daughter told her first original joke at a family dinner and everyone died laughing. The moments truly never stop. Every single day they amaze and surprise you, fill you with so much love and joy and appreciation. One time Bill Gates was asked what gave him joy and without missing a beat he said his children. Nothing is greater, nothing gives you more meaning, nothing is more ultimate than the sacrifice and patience and wonder and fulfillment of having children.

bombcar 1y ago
There's a moment of abject horror, fascination, wonder, surprise, and pride when you suddenly recognize yourself in your children; a moment, a word, even just a holding of the head and you're staring into a mirror ...
- monero-xmr 1y ago
  It is a complete shift in world view. In BC (before children) you lived one way, then in AD (after delivery) you live another. Complete and utter change in priorities, outlook, experience, meaning, fundamental shift that those without children cannot understand
  - doug713705 1y ago
    And people with children cannot understand what it is to live a whole life in full freedom. I'm over 50 years old and I fully love my life as it is and have never regretted my choice of not having children (and never will). Not that my choice is suitable for everybody, but the most common choice is not suitable for everybody either.
    - holoduke 1y ago
      I can understand. I have 4 small kids. The amount of freetime us near zero. I can sometimes envy your life
      - bombcar 1y ago
        As a fellow manyKid™ enjoyer I know what you mean. Even your "free time" is guided and directed by kids, and when you DO get some time alone with the wife or a good friend, you talk about the kids. It really is a change that's not quite possible to convey with words.
    - monero-xmr 1y ago
      Hard disagree, I lived my life without children, the hedonism and lack of responsibility. And you can live this until death. And I didn’t discount such a life in my writing. I stated that having children fundamentally changes you, in a way you will never understand
      - TheOtherHobbes 1y ago
        Given State of World, my take on it is there's far more hedonism and irresponsibility in having kids. It's nice they make you happy, but will their lives be happy? The evidence says it's very unlikely. My choice is not to inflict that experience on another sentient being. I'm really not seeing anything at the moment that encourages me to question that.
        stinkbeetle 1y ago
        It will be "inflicted" on other people whether you choose it or not. People and cultures that don't want children will give way to those who do.
        ptero 1y ago
        For a different perspective: the world today is not perfect, but when I compare the current state of the world with how our ancestors lived from the Roman empire to the last century I think my kids have a high chances to do much better than that average. My direct ancestors lived through some harrowing times without losing their will to live and if they were alive today they would likely feel this is a great time to be alive. My 2c.
        bombcar 1y ago
        And the very act of hope that having kids is (and it is a strong act of hope, no denial) changes your outlook on life and the state of the world, too. Sometimes to more abject despair, but often to more hope. People shouldn't be forced at gunpoint to have children, but they also shouldn't be dragged down into insecurity and despair that it's financially impossible.
        1y ago
    - jajko 1y ago
      Sure we do, not everybody got married and got kids at 20. And I mean proper life, backpacking for months around south east asia, himalaya, diving in remote tropical islands, doing extreme mountain sports to the fullest capacity. You know, stuff that adds easily many decades of life actually experienced. It doesnt compare, it cant. But there is a catch - to have a chance for actually being a good long term stable parent (and also having and raising kids in a similar way), 2 balanced individuals need to meet and be close to each other on many levels, and then keep working on it. Something I dont see often around me unfortunately in these me-me-me times, with corresponding consequences. Better having no kids than be a miserable parent, raising another miserable generation of permanent cripples. Just wait till you hit 60s and the pool of nice things you can do keeps shrinking dramatically, I've heard such phrases before and then heard regrets some time later.
    - close04 1y ago
      This is a matter of personal preference of course. But the way you phrased it, "a whole life in full freedom" tells me you think it's either all or nothing. If you can't enjoy the full freedom in the last years of your life, does it take away from the previous years? For better or worse people with kids know both lives, people without kids only know one. It's like saying "you'll never know how it is to eat an entire cake". Maybe you ate much of it, that counts for something. Now you're on to the next cake. You might bite more than you can chew but this goes for everything. The value of this freedom is the highest when you're young, experimenting, putting your life on some track. Being "free" at 65 doesn't have anywhere near the same value as it does at 20. Once you do it (almost) all, everything else becomes more of the same doesn't it? That cake I was mentioning? The first bite tasted a whole lot better than the last. There's no right or wrong, everyone knows their preference and personal circumstances. But your explanation felt like a knee-jerk reaction.
- vaxman 1y ago
  Do your kids have Social Security Numbers yet? Let's ask Elon to use his privileged mode on xAI to have it characterize their socio economic relations among all Americans that have existed since The Great Deal, shall we?
  - monero-xmr 1y ago
    To respond in such a moronic, unthinking, truly absurd and ridiculous way to such a beautiful comment is bizarre and unnecessary beyond human understanding
    - vaxman 1y ago
      ok Elon.
adonese 1y ago
Thanks for this. We are expecting one in two months (our first), and reading this made me happy.
rubzah 1y ago
Even Steve Jobs, who was by most accounts a pretty cold fish (his many other qualities notwithstanding), said something similar. By memory, he said something like: With your kids, it's as if they carry your heart around outside of your body. Which I found super touching and apt.
- quadhome 1y ago
  "Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." -- Elizabeth Stone

bombcar 1y ago

There's a moment of abject horror, fascination, wonder, surprise, and pride when you suddenly recognize yourself in your children; a moment, a word, even just a holding of the head and you're staring into a mirror ...

monero-xmr 1y ago
It is a complete shift in world view. In BC (before children) you lived one way, then in AD (after delivery) you live another. Complete and utter change in priorities, outlook, experience, meaning, fundamental shift that those without children cannot understand
- doug713705 1y ago
  And people with children cannot understand what it is to live a whole life in full freedom. I'm over 50 years old and I fully love my life as it is and have never regretted my choice of not having children (and never will). Not that my choice is suitable for everybody, but the most common choice is not suitable for everybody either.
  - holoduke 1y ago
    I can understand. I have 4 small kids. The amount of freetime us near zero. I can sometimes envy your life
    - bombcar 1y ago
      As a fellow manyKid™ enjoyer I know what you mean. Even your "free time" is guided and directed by kids, and when you DO get some time alone with the wife or a good friend, you talk about the kids. It really is a change that's not quite possible to convey with words.
  - monero-xmr 1y ago
    Hard disagree, I lived my life without children, the hedonism and lack of responsibility. And you can live this until death. And I didn’t discount such a life in my writing. I stated that having children fundamentally changes you, in a way you will never understand
    - TheOtherHobbes 1y ago
      Given State of World, my take on it is there's far more hedonism and irresponsibility in having kids. It's nice they make you happy, but will their lives be happy? The evidence says it's very unlikely. My choice is not to inflict that experience on another sentient being. I'm really not seeing anything at the moment that encourages me to question that.
      - stinkbeetle 1y ago
        It will be "inflicted" on other people whether you choose it or not. People and cultures that don't want children will give way to those who do.
      - ptero 1y ago
        For a different perspective: the world today is not perfect, but when I compare the current state of the world with how our ancestors lived from the Roman empire to the last century I think my kids have a high chances to do much better than that average. My direct ancestors lived through some harrowing times without losing their will to live and if they were alive today they would likely feel this is a great time to be alive. My 2c.
        bombcar 1y ago
        And the very act of hope that having kids is (and it is a strong act of hope, no denial) changes your outlook on life and the state of the world, too. Sometimes to more abject despair, but often to more hope. People shouldn't be forced at gunpoint to have children, but they also shouldn't be dragged down into insecurity and despair that it's financially impossible.
      - 1y ago
  - jajko 1y ago
    Sure we do, not everybody got married and got kids at 20. And I mean proper life, backpacking for months around south east asia, himalaya, diving in remote tropical islands, doing extreme mountain sports to the fullest capacity. You know, stuff that adds easily many decades of life actually experienced. It doesnt compare, it cant. But there is a catch - to have a chance for actually being a good long term stable parent (and also having and raising kids in a similar way), 2 balanced individuals need to meet and be close to each other on many levels, and then keep working on it. Something I dont see often around me unfortunately in these me-me-me times, with corresponding consequences. Better having no kids than be a miserable parent, raising another miserable generation of permanent cripples. Just wait till you hit 60s and the pool of nice things you can do keeps shrinking dramatically, I've heard such phrases before and then heard regrets some time later.
  - close04 1y ago
    This is a matter of personal preference of course. But the way you phrased it, "a whole life in full freedom" tells me you think it's either all or nothing. If you can't enjoy the full freedom in the last years of your life, does it take away from the previous years? For better or worse people with kids know both lives, people without kids only know one. It's like saying "you'll never know how it is to eat an entire cake". Maybe you ate much of it, that counts for something. Now you're on to the next cake. You might bite more than you can chew but this goes for everything. The value of this freedom is the highest when you're young, experimenting, putting your life on some track. Being "free" at 65 doesn't have anywhere near the same value as it does at 20. Once you do it (almost) all, everything else becomes more of the same doesn't it? That cake I was mentioning? The first bite tasted a whole lot better than the last. There's no right or wrong, everyone knows their preference and personal circumstances. But your explanation felt like a knee-jerk reaction.
vaxman 1y ago
Do your kids have Social Security Numbers yet? Let's ask Elon to use his privileged mode on xAI to have it characterize their socio economic relations among all Americans that have existed since The Great Deal, shall we?
- monero-xmr 1y ago
  To respond in such a moronic, unthinking, truly absurd and ridiculous way to such a beautiful comment is bizarre and unnecessary beyond human understanding
  - vaxman 1y ago
    ok Elon.

adonese 1y ago

Thanks for this. We are expecting one in two months (our first), and reading this made me happy.

rubzah 1y ago

Even Steve Jobs, who was by most accounts a pretty cold fish (his many other qualities notwithstanding), said something similar. By memory, he said something like: With your kids, it's as if they carry your heart around outside of your body. Which I found super touching and apt.

quadhome 1y ago
"Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." -- Elizabeth Stone