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It's been many years without social networks for me. At gatherings, I'm often the only one without a phone in my hand, and it feels strange. Eventually, the "ph

It's been many years without social networks for me. At gatherings, I'm often the only one without a phone in my hand, and it feels strange. Eventually, the "phoners" make eye contact and chat a bit, usually about something they all saw on a screen. But it never lasts. They always go back to the screen. It seems silence and quiet time make them uncomfortable. Even in a formal business meeting, screens are open, and attention is lost. Will decentralized social networks fix this plague? I don't think so. The only thing that works is disconnecting. Just a few weeks into it, you'll realize you have so much free time. Time for hobbies, time for loved ones, time for finding peace and joy, time for creating and sharing. You will regret the thousands of hours wasted on that useless addiction. A few months in, you'll hear the birds singing again. You'll notice the evening skies. You'll find comfort and joy. The time you get back will help you build incredible things.

medhir 1y ago
I agree there’s a ton of benefits from fully disconnecting. I’ve had periods completely off social media which were quite blissful, though I’ve always ended up coming back to some extent due the social aspects you described. Given the choice between apps controlled by large corporations preying on attention vs decentralized protocols, I’d much rather have the latter. I think having examples of apps that don’t demand one’s attention so fiercely, or provide better options for tailoring “the algorithm,” are an important step towards ending the mass social media addiction society is currently experiencing.
- Nevermark 1y ago
  > provide better options for tailoring “the algorithm,” Instead of a non-obvious "algorithm" with tailoring, just have a social app with a purpose (or per group purpose), and nothing but absolute direct control. I.e. follow/link with friends, family or whatever in groups. The feed is time-weighted to recent posts or communications. Any other filtering or prioritization can be done, by selection. I.e. deprioritize reposts by default, except persons A, B and C. Etc. There could be like/dislikes that accumulate into priorities, for those who think that is convenient, but those priorities are just private settings that can be observed and changed. No hidden/obscure/unclear algorithms, no third parties, no ads, and no Zuck's with any ability to access/impact/insert into the feed. A scrapbook group, that is just a scrapbook group. Etc. When did software products/services start "needing" boogymen?
  - johnecheck 1y ago
    The right platform will allow users to choose between any of the algorithms you described and more.
    - medhir 1y ago
      This is pretty much exactly what Bluesky / Blacksky offer in the form of custom feeds. Gives users the ability to choose whatever type of feed they want, algorithm curated or not. And if you’re unhappy with the selection, you’re free to create your own.
- const_cast 1y ago
  The best middle ground I've found is checking social media on a web browser on a computer. On my time, when I decide. I still check Instagram every few weeks just to see what everyone is up to. And it's honestly really nice. I never think about it until I'm thinking "hmm, what is X up to?" The best part is I don't burn through all the posts in 5 seconds and then get reels suggested. In a few weeks or a couple months, a lot of stuff happens! There's a bunch of cool posts from my friends from me to see, and no algorithmic BS.
repeekad 1y ago
“The Pedestrian” by Ray Bradbury comes to mind
creakingstairs 1y ago
> At gatherings, I'm often the only one without a phone in my hand, and it feels strange I’m curious, what country is this from? I’ve been living in NZ and Japan last 5 years and people love their phones here too. But the gatherings (even random meet ups!) almost never have people with phones in their hands. > Even in a formal business meeting, screens are open, and attention is lost. This would be considered incredibly rude and would lose businesses here
christoph 1y ago
This, this, this and more this!!! Sorry, the below is long, but I haven’t really shared before anywhere and it’s just flowed out of me this morning… I dropped Facebook over 15 years ago, instagram maybe 7 or 8 years ago, Twitter just before Elon took over, Whatsapp and Strava I guess might be the only things I use considered “social” and I have all group notifications muted on WA at all times. I’ve watched this parallel reality grow and evolve over the years and I hate it. Everyone everywhere seems to be permanently staring at a screen! A month or so back, I watched my wife awake in the morning, she didn’t realise I was awake watching her (lovingly) - I got Black Mirror IRL - instantly upon awaking, without looking, she reached for her phone and the endless scrolling started, she was so engrossed, after 10 mins not noticing her husband awake, intently watching her, I had to say “Morning”. Later that morning, alone, I wept tears for myself, for her and all of humanity. Two to three months ago, I had realised that while I wasn’t addicted to social media, I was absolutely addicted to news media/politics/etc. Like a key in a lock, it clicked one day, i’d wasted at least a decade, nearly two of adult life obsessively reading, commenting and talking about UK, global events & politics. Worse than that, I realised how all the negativity from that world was directly feeding my own negativity and then into those around me. Then after another week or two where I blocked it out entirely at home, I felt “recovered”. My fingers were no longer blindly typing in web addresses in moments of boredom - I’d dip into a book chapter of technical paper for 5 minutes instead. Political podcasts were all dropped, replaced entirely with music and podcasts that don’t engage with political comment. I was only granted this moment of clarity as I attended a technical conference for a week, where I was up at 7 every morning to hit the early sessions and not getting back to my hotel till nearly 10 or 11pm. Amazingly, the whole week, there was barely a whisper of anything about politics - I think I might have heard the word “Trump” once. I was so full of energy and excitement about what i’d been learning and talking to people about all week, as soon as I returned to my normal reality, the world of international politics suddenly appeared to me exactly the same way a bottle of booze did after knocking alcohol addiction on the head. The mere mention of any of the MSM trigger words suddenly produced in me a deep feeling of revulsion. I couldn’t imagine not knowing what was going on in the world 6 months ago, now I actively avoid any mention or conversation that might go that way. The sky hasn’t fallen in, foreign invaders haven’t taken my country, what has happened though is I’ve been devouring books and technical papers like a mad man, learning new instruments, creating art on the computer and finally facing my demons and creating art on paper! My life has improved beyond all rational logic, probably moreso than quitting alcohol, which was also a horrible, slow growing, hugely negative addiction for me. My emotional state feels more balanced than ever as I’m finally feeling totally free from all the emotional manipulation these things ultimate come with. If something awful happens out in the big bad world painted by the media, I’ll deal with it when it happens as it happens in my actual reality. The best tools I can arm myself with are knowledge, gratitude and love. Sitting around arguing on political blogs has achieved the square root of fuck all and will continue to achieve that. People seem shocked when they attempt to talk to me about politics and I just shrug my shoulders now. I shudder to think now about the energy I blindly invested into that world, never making one single bit of difference, just generating negativity inside of me, which then spirals out to those I most love around me. When you flip all that negative energy into positive energy, and honestly it really is that easy, you very quickly start getting the insight that maybe you aren’t just human, you’re superhuman.
cyrialize 1y ago
I've been trying not to browse when I wake up. Suddenly, I've been having much more free time in the morning!
ElijahLynn 1y ago
Phones are basically vape pens these days.

medhir 1y ago

I agree there’s a ton of benefits from fully disconnecting. I’ve had periods completely off social media which were quite blissful, though I’ve always ended up coming back to some extent due the social aspects you described. Given the choice between apps controlled by large corporations preying on attention vs decentralized protocols, I’d much rather have the latter. I think having examples of apps that don’t demand one’s attention so fiercely, or provide better options for tailoring “the algorithm,” are an important step towards ending the mass social media addiction society is currently experiencing.

Nevermark 1y ago
> provide better options for tailoring “the algorithm,” Instead of a non-obvious "algorithm" with tailoring, just have a social app with a purpose (or per group purpose), and nothing but absolute direct control. I.e. follow/link with friends, family or whatever in groups. The feed is time-weighted to recent posts or communications. Any other filtering or prioritization can be done, by selection. I.e. deprioritize reposts by default, except persons A, B and C. Etc. There could be like/dislikes that accumulate into priorities, for those who think that is convenient, but those priorities are just private settings that can be observed and changed. No hidden/obscure/unclear algorithms, no third parties, no ads, and no Zuck's with any ability to access/impact/insert into the feed. A scrapbook group, that is just a scrapbook group. Etc. When did software products/services start "needing" boogymen?
- johnecheck 1y ago
  The right platform will allow users to choose between any of the algorithms you described and more.
  - medhir 1y ago
    This is pretty much exactly what Bluesky / Blacksky offer in the form of custom feeds. Gives users the ability to choose whatever type of feed they want, algorithm curated or not. And if you’re unhappy with the selection, you’re free to create your own.
const_cast 1y ago
The best middle ground I've found is checking social media on a web browser on a computer. On my time, when I decide. I still check Instagram every few weeks just to see what everyone is up to. And it's honestly really nice. I never think about it until I'm thinking "hmm, what is X up to?" The best part is I don't burn through all the posts in 5 seconds and then get reels suggested. In a few weeks or a couple months, a lot of stuff happens! There's a bunch of cool posts from my friends from me to see, and no algorithmic BS.

repeekad 1y ago

“The Pedestrian” by Ray Bradbury comes to mind

creakingstairs 1y ago

> At gatherings, I'm often the only one without a phone in my hand, and it feels strange I’m curious, what country is this from? I’ve been living in NZ and Japan last 5 years and people love their phones here too. But the gatherings (even random meet ups!) almost never have people with phones in their hands. > Even in a formal business meeting, screens are open, and attention is lost. This would be considered incredibly rude and would lose businesses here

christoph 1y ago

This, this, this and more this!!! Sorry, the below is long, but I haven’t really shared before anywhere and it’s just flowed out of me this morning… I dropped Facebook over 15 years ago, instagram maybe 7 or 8 years ago, Twitter just before Elon took over, Whatsapp and Strava I guess might be the only things I use considered “social” and I have all group notifications muted on WA at all times. I’ve watched this parallel reality grow and evolve over the years and I hate it. Everyone everywhere seems to be permanently staring at a screen! A month or so back, I watched my wife awake in the morning, she didn’t realise I was awake watching her (lovingly) - I got Black Mirror IRL - instantly upon awaking, without looking, she reached for her phone and the endless scrolling started, she was so engrossed, after 10 mins not noticing her husband awake, intently watching her, I had to say “Morning”. Later that morning, alone, I wept tears for myself, for her and all of humanity. Two to three months ago, I had realised that while I wasn’t addicted to social media, I was absolutely addicted to news media/politics/etc. Like a key in a lock, it clicked one day, i’d wasted at least a decade, nearly two of adult life obsessively reading, commenting and talking about UK, global events & politics. Worse than that, I realised how all the negativity from that world was directly feeding my own negativity and then into those around me. Then after another week or two where I blocked it out entirely at home, I felt “recovered”. My fingers were no longer blindly typing in web addresses in moments of boredom - I’d dip into a book chapter of technical paper for 5 minutes instead. Political podcasts were all dropped, replaced entirely with music and podcasts that don’t engage with political comment. I was only granted this moment of clarity as I attended a technical conference for a week, where I was up at 7 every morning to hit the early sessions and not getting back to my hotel till nearly 10 or 11pm. Amazingly, the whole week, there was barely a whisper of anything about politics - I think I might have heard the word “Trump” once. I was so full of energy and excitement about what i’d been learning and talking to people about all week, as soon as I returned to my normal reality, the world of international politics suddenly appeared to me exactly the same way a bottle of booze did after knocking alcohol addiction on the head. The mere mention of any of the MSM trigger words suddenly produced in me a deep feeling of revulsion. I couldn’t imagine not knowing what was going on in the world 6 months ago, now I actively avoid any mention or conversation that might go that way. The sky hasn’t fallen in, foreign invaders haven’t taken my country, what has happened though is I’ve been devouring books and technical papers like a mad man, learning new instruments, creating art on the computer and finally facing my demons and creating art on paper! My life has improved beyond all rational logic, probably moreso than quitting alcohol, which was also a horrible, slow growing, hugely negative addiction for me. My emotional state feels more balanced than ever as I’m finally feeling totally free from all the emotional manipulation these things ultimate come with. If something awful happens out in the big bad world painted by the media, I’ll deal with it when it happens as it happens in my actual reality. The best tools I can arm myself with are knowledge, gratitude and love. Sitting around arguing on political blogs has achieved the square root of fuck all and will continue to achieve that. People seem shocked when they attempt to talk to me about politics and I just shrug my shoulders now. I shudder to think now about the energy I blindly invested into that world, never making one single bit of difference, just generating negativity inside of me, which then spirals out to those I most love around me. When you flip all that negative energy into positive energy, and honestly it really is that easy, you very quickly start getting the insight that maybe you aren’t just human, you’re superhuman.

cyrialize 1y ago

I've been trying not to browse when I wake up. Suddenly, I've been having much more free time in the morning!

ElijahLynn 1y ago

Phones are basically vape pens these days.