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I'm in my late 30's and if it was possible I would block all incoming calls, except those from a whitelist. Never seen it prescribed to manners if someone pick

I'm in my late 30's and if it was possible I would block all incoming calls, except those from a whitelist. Never seen it prescribed to manners if someone picks up a phone or not. Is that a US thing?

bnrdr 1y ago
FYI you can “silence unknown callers” on the iPhone, just search under settings. Then your whitelist is people you have in your contacts. Maybe Android has a similar setting too, I don’t know though.
- Tcepsa 1y ago
  Android phones (at least some of them) have "Do Not Disturb" mode which blocks calls from numbers not in your Favorites (i.e. starred contacts)
  - MrDresden 1y ago
    The issue with DND is that it blocks all incoming notifications as well. That's not what I want at all times. A push notification doesn't take over my device like a phone call does, and I want to be able to get notifications from chat or email even though the sender isn't in my white list. The whole system underlying phone calls is broken in the same way that the internet is, i.e relying on a level of trust that just isn't there. There is no argument I will accept that will persuade me that any device should be able to contact any other device at all times. There is no need for such a synchronous type of communication, now that we have had the internet for over 40 years.
toomanyrichies 1y ago
American here. Definitely not a US thing. Most likely the headline is an attempt to gin up some controversy clicks. Just because someone calls me, doesn’t mean I’m obligated to answer it.
jolmg 1y ago
> Never seen it prescribed to manners if someone picks up a phone or not. Is that a US thing? I would see it analogous to someone in real-life saying hi and the other person ignoring them. Is that rude? Depends on your relationship with the person. A salesman? No. Someone you're really close to? Maybe; depends on your relationship with them. Boss? Likely. It also depends on whether you call back, in case you were driving or something. > "When I see 'Dad mobile' pop up on my screen, I will let it ring. I don't have the energy to answer a barrage of questions. I'd rather just text him after he hangs up," says 16-year-old Mehdi. If they didn't text back, I might see it as reasonable grounds for some type of punishment, depending on a number of factors (time of day, where they're supposed to be, how they've been behaving lately, etc.). Another comment talked about not being obligated to answer, but towards one's parent when they're a teen? This is one of those relationships where they would have an obligation to answer.
- MrDresden 1y ago
  > "I would see it analogous to someone in real-life saying hi and the other person ignoring them. Is that rude? Depends on your relationship with the person. A salesman? No. Someone you're really close to? Maybe; depends on your relationship with them. Boss? Likely." I would find it unreasonable for anyone to think that who ever they are calling is able to take a phone call at all times. Sometimes I am driving, swimming, sleeping, working, in a conversation with other human beings, or just taking time out. I don't expect other people to be available to me at all times, and would expect the same from them. My boss knows that I am only available during work hours or during any "pager-duty" times. Otherwise I am not to be contacted (extreme edge cases exist). If you don't set guidelines for your own time and attention, someone else will do so for you.
  - jolmg 1y ago
    > I would find it unreasonable for anyone to think that who ever they are calling is able to take a phone call at all times. Sometimes I am driving, [etc.] Hence why I said, >> It also depends on whether you call back, in case you were driving or something. and >> If they didn't text back Everyone understands that picking up a call is not always practical, and many times accepting the call itself is not really as important as accepting the prompt for contact at some vague, near point in the future. > If you don't set guidelines for your own time and attention, someone else will do so for you. Everything said is about implied/default expectations. If you set guidelines and they're accepted (it's really a negotiation), then those are the expectations. That's why I said "depends on your relationship with them".

I'm in my late 30's and if it was possible I would block all incoming calls, except those from a whitelist. Never seen it prescribed to manners if someone picks up a phone or not. Is that a US thing?

bnrdr 1y ago

FYI you can “silence unknown callers” on the iPhone, just search under settings. Then your whitelist is people you have in your contacts. Maybe Android has a similar setting too, I don’t know though.

Tcepsa 1y ago
Android phones (at least some of them) have "Do Not Disturb" mode which blocks calls from numbers not in your Favorites (i.e. starred contacts)
- MrDresden 1y ago
  The issue with DND is that it blocks all incoming notifications as well. That's not what I want at all times. A push notification doesn't take over my device like a phone call does, and I want to be able to get notifications from chat or email even though the sender isn't in my white list. The whole system underlying phone calls is broken in the same way that the internet is, i.e relying on a level of trust that just isn't there. There is no argument I will accept that will persuade me that any device should be able to contact any other device at all times. There is no need for such a synchronous type of communication, now that we have had the internet for over 40 years.

toomanyrichies 1y ago

American here. Definitely not a US thing. Most likely the headline is an attempt to gin up some controversy clicks. Just because someone calls me, doesn’t mean I’m obligated to answer it.

jolmg 1y ago

> Never seen it prescribed to manners if someone picks up a phone or not. Is that a US thing? I would see it analogous to someone in real-life saying hi and the other person ignoring them. Is that rude? Depends on your relationship with the person. A salesman? No. Someone you're really close to? Maybe; depends on your relationship with them. Boss? Likely. It also depends on whether you call back, in case you were driving or something. > "When I see 'Dad mobile' pop up on my screen, I will let it ring. I don't have the energy to answer a barrage of questions. I'd rather just text him after he hangs up," says 16-year-old Mehdi. If they didn't text back, I might see it as reasonable grounds for some type of punishment, depending on a number of factors (time of day, where they're supposed to be, how they've been behaving lately, etc.). Another comment talked about not being obligated to answer, but towards one's parent when they're a teen? This is one of those relationships where they would have an obligation to answer.

MrDresden 1y ago
> "I would see it analogous to someone in real-life saying hi and the other person ignoring them. Is that rude? Depends on your relationship with the person. A salesman? No. Someone you're really close to? Maybe; depends on your relationship with them. Boss? Likely." I would find it unreasonable for anyone to think that who ever they are calling is able to take a phone call at all times. Sometimes I am driving, swimming, sleeping, working, in a conversation with other human beings, or just taking time out. I don't expect other people to be available to me at all times, and would expect the same from them. My boss knows that I am only available during work hours or during any "pager-duty" times. Otherwise I am not to be contacted (extreme edge cases exist). If you don't set guidelines for your own time and attention, someone else will do so for you.
- jolmg 1y ago
  > I would find it unreasonable for anyone to think that who ever they are calling is able to take a phone call at all times. Sometimes I am driving, [etc.] Hence why I said, >> It also depends on whether you call back, in case you were driving or something. and >> If they didn't text back Everyone understands that picking up a call is not always practical, and many times accepting the call itself is not really as important as accepting the prompt for contact at some vague, near point in the future. > If you don't set guidelines for your own time and attention, someone else will do so for you. Everything said is about implied/default expectations. If you set guidelines and they're accepted (it's really a negotiation), then those are the expectations. That's why I said "depends on your relationship with them".