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But the sex itself, is it that much different than "real" sex? Are there really that many people having boring sex to make the amount of people coming close to

But the sex itself, is it that much different than "real" sex? Are there really that many people having boring sex to make the amount of people coming close to and/or surpassing porn a statistical anomaly? This question highlights the worst effect porn has on male understanding and perception of sexual intercourse. First of all, there's very little porn out there where the woman truly enjoys the experience. It's not always glaringly obvious (although we'll get back to that in the next point), but if you actually stop and look, you'll see the discomfort and/or indifference very often. Second, a lot of porn out there focuses on and glorifies the woman's suffering, pain and degradation. Seriously, you only have to read the word "painal" once to realize that. However, if that's not enough, you might also look for the occurrences of "choke", "gag", "destroy", "slut", etc. Third, even the porn that doesn't focus on pain teaches wrong stuff. One might get the idea that the only thing a man need do to make a woman enjoy sex is to pound her fast and hard. On top of that comes the whole issue of hygiene: the way anal is portrayed means that if you try it at home, your female partner will likely end up with an infection. Fourth, it creates unrealistic expectations. Let's just say that gag reflex is not as easy to suppress as the porn makes you believe and that anal sex is not a matter of just sliding in any time you want. TL;DR: No, it's not just about whether the sex if fun or boring. EDIT: Forgot to mention that I'm male.

fusiongyro 14y ago
I'm loathe to write about this topic because it's so easy to be misconstrued if you have a nuanced view. Even the dialog about it can get rather scripted and dull. But I think you probably also have a nuanced view, and I just couldn't let go. Women's enjoyment is not a real problem with porn, for several reasons. First, they're not the target demographic. Second, it's easy to fool people who want to be fooled and that's exactly the market here—there's not much tangible benefit to better acting. Third, this is just a job. I don't experience constant ecstasy at my occupation even though I clearly have the right one and I do enjoy it a lot. I think expecting someone to perform these kinds of acrobatics with a smile on their face is about the most you can expect. It would be ridiculous to imagine that they're literally orgasming from 8 AM to 5 PM just because they work in porn. They're called actors for a reason. Second, you get what you search for. Really. Why would the industry care what kind of customer you are? They're not somehow going to make more money on people that like harder stuff; they have nothing to gain from incentivizing it. If they can shoot a woman fake masturbating for an hour and sell that for $20, of course they'd rather do that than have to shoot a bunch of actors all having really acrobatic sex for an hour and sell that for $20. On top of that, the weirder it gets the more expensive the actors are going to be, because fewer of them will have the capability or be willing to do weird things. This is just a job. I would expect acting in the kinds of things fewer people want to act in pays better, and that's overhead. Third, it's entertainment. It doesn't need to teach. In fact, you can find plenty of material intended for teaching—it's consistently underviewed, because this is an entertainment medium and tutorials aren't great entertainment. Are these people who are fooled into thinking reality will be just like it is portrayed here also under the impression that hacking involves drag-and-drop green cubes, and CSI is all magic computers? Entertainment is entertaining to a large degree because it removes unnecessary details and focuses on the visceral. I would hate to live in a world in which all my entertainment had to be realistic. Same thing for item 4, unrealistic expectations. This is an accusation you can levy at all forms of entertainment. Expecting your sex life to be like porn is just as stupid as expecting your career to be like the movies or your family to be like 50's TV. Who's that naive? TL;DR: Porn is a product, porn actors are paid to act, realism oughtn't be mandated in entertainment and that the naive will believe anything is not a problem that can be solved.

fusiongyro 14y ago

I'm loathe to write about this topic because it's so easy to be misconstrued if you have a nuanced view. Even the dialog about it can get rather scripted and dull. But I think you probably also have a nuanced view, and I just couldn't let go. Women's enjoyment is not a real problem with porn, for several reasons. First, they're not the target demographic. Second, it's easy to fool people who want to be fooled and that's exactly the market here—there's not much tangible benefit to better acting. Third, this is just a job. I don't experience constant ecstasy at my occupation even though I clearly have the right one and I do enjoy it a lot. I think expecting someone to perform these kinds of acrobatics with a smile on their face is about the most you can expect. It would be ridiculous to imagine that they're literally orgasming from 8 AM to 5 PM just because they work in porn. They're called actors for a reason. Second, you get what you search for. Really. Why would the industry care what kind of customer you are? They're not somehow going to make more money on people that like harder stuff; they have nothing to gain from incentivizing it. If they can shoot a woman fake masturbating for an hour and sell that for $20, of course they'd rather do that than have to shoot a bunch of actors all having really acrobatic sex for an hour and sell that for $20. On top of that, the weirder it gets the more expensive the actors are going to be, because fewer of them will have the capability or be willing to do weird things. This is just a job. I would expect acting in the kinds of things fewer people want to act in pays better, and that's overhead. Third, it's entertainment. It doesn't need to teach. In fact, you can find plenty of material intended for teaching—it's consistently underviewed, because this is an entertainment medium and tutorials aren't great entertainment. Are these people who are fooled into thinking reality will be just like it is portrayed here also under the impression that hacking involves drag-and-drop green cubes, and CSI is all magic computers? Entertainment is entertaining to a large degree because it removes unnecessary details and focuses on the visceral. I would hate to live in a world in which all my entertainment had to be realistic. Same thing for item 4, unrealistic expectations. This is an accusation you can levy at all forms of entertainment. Expecting your sex life to be like porn is just as stupid as expecting your career to be like the movies or your family to be like 50's TV. Who's that naive? TL;DR: Porn is a product, porn actors are paid to act, realism oughtn't be mandated in entertainment and that the naive will believe anything is not a problem that can be solved.