5 ms·

Don't ask to ask, just ask

• musicale 1y ago
  Since we haven't worked out etiquette for messaging systems we end up with things like: Hi. : ... can I ask a question? : apparently
• gentooflux 1y ago
  "Can you do me a favor?" "Can you come here a second?" "HELP!" It's an attempt to use emotional leverage to acquire assistance. In the author's case they're appealing to prowess; "if you can help me with this then clearly you are an accomplished java person." In my first two examples it's usually someone leveraging the nature of your relationship; "if you care about me you'll do this/look at this for me." In my third example they're probably drowning or something and are trying to get someone's attention before that happens. It's all very needful.
  • giorgioz 1y ago
    Defining someone drowning as needful is a lack of respect for human life. I feel that should be the exception to the rule. All other examples are good but the drowning took it one step too far.
    • gentooflux 1y ago
      Getting upset at loved ones for how they phrase a request for help is pretty disrespectful too. No one is being manipulative here, this is just how humans communicate. Being annoyed by it is a choice. The adjective "needful" means: - being in need - necessary, required
• phendrenad2 1y ago
  This drove me crazy in online discussions until I realized that 99% of the time, people who "ask to ask" don't just have a question, they want someone to be their dedicated tech support or mentor who will hold their hand and walk them through it, or will outright do the work for them. Now I just mentally filter these requests out and pretend they don't exist.