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I have a hard time evaluating articles like this. On one hand, we all know problematic neighbors who have an unrealistic standard of something, whether it be th

by parsimo2010 1y ago

I have a hard time evaluating articles like this. On one hand, we all know problematic neighbors who have an unrealistic standard of something, whether it be the supervision of kids, the noise of a backyard gathering, yard/fence maintenance, etc. So we are primed to believe that the person in the story is just being unfairly persecuted. Perhaps the neighbors just called the police as soon as they saw the kids without bothering to check if the parents were anywhere nearby. Perhaps the parent was in the bathroom for a minute and the neighbors called the cops on that. On the other hand, it is plausible that the parents were actually negligent and the kids were outside totally unsupervised, and the neighbors tried to find someone watching over the kids before calling the police. I would normally not be suspicious, but statements like, "the next door neighbors were okay with our kids playing in their yards" and, "of course my child is allowed to climb the stairs" feel a little off. Yes, neighbors will often say it is okay for kids to be on their lawns but there is usually an understanding that the parents are aware of what's going on. And it's easy to say that you allow your kids to climb the stairs, but the child in question was less than a year old. I don't know of a parent who wouldn't at least be watching over them on the front porch. So I don't know where I land here. This story, even if true, sounds like a bad parent trying to pass this off as intrusive neighbors and government overreach. Kids can and should be allowed to roam, but there should be some appropriate limits. I experienced this first-hand as a kid. My parents were great and we had awesome families on our street. Most of the time we just roamed to various houses on the street and the parents all knew each other and it was fine. Once we rode our bikes to another town and had to ask a stranger to use their phone because we got lost- this was probably not okay, but our parents picked us up and things turned out okay. But notably, we did not get CPS called on us multiple times.

cycomanic 1y ago
It seems like you are taking a lot of effort to create an alternative narrative. It said nowhere that the 18month year old was not supervised, in fact if that was the case why complain about the climbing stairs and not the child being unsupervised? Regarding the neighbors allowing the children to use their yard? You did notice that the letter writer points out that it was not the neighbors who own the backyard who were complaining, so why are you creating a narrative that it was their understanding that the kids would be supervised? In my experience the stories about strangers telling the kids what they can or cannot do (as a European not part that these people would be taken seriously by cps though) seem entirely plausible both from experiences from my childhood and experiences as a parent. There are lots of people who seem to enjoy bossing kids around. It often gets worse when kids are articulate and insist on their rights. Some people get downright aggressive if a child or teenager isn't immediately submissive.
- darth_avocado 1y ago
  > It often gets worse when kids are articulate and insist on their rights I can relate with this so much. When kids are articulate and confident, bossy adults have a such a hard time reacting appropriately, that they often result to acting like children. They then resort to telling lies, knowing fully well that the society will often take the word of an adult over that of a child.
- parsimo2010 1y ago
  > It seems like you are taking a lot of effort to create an alternative narrative I mean, it seems like the parent went through a lot of effort to craft a narrative where they aren’t bad parents despite having CPS called on them four times, their kids were accused of animal abuse, entering people’s houses without permission, and lets them run around town. I get that some neighbors can be intrusive, but either this is one single neighbor that needs to be given a cease and desist order, or there are multiple neighbors who were concerned enough to call the authorities. Either way this story doesn’t really lead me to the conclusion that the parent was fine, but the laws about kid supervision needed to be changed. Something just doesn’t make me fully believe that the parent didn’t do anything wrong.
darth_avocado 1y ago
We can all find reasons to not believe the story but if the CPS showed up and demanded constant supervision inside the house for 12-13 year olds and there is proof for that claim, that’s all you need. “They must’ve done something wrong” is the classic case of victim blaming.
potsandpans 1y ago
> On the other hand, it is plausible that the parents were actually negligent and the kids were outside totally unsupervised, This stated so plainly as a rational insight is indicative of the ludicrous shift in discourse that has happened culturally.

cycomanic 1y ago

It seems like you are taking a lot of effort to create an alternative narrative. It said nowhere that the 18month year old was not supervised, in fact if that was the case why complain about the climbing stairs and not the child being unsupervised? Regarding the neighbors allowing the children to use their yard? You did notice that the letter writer points out that it was not the neighbors who own the backyard who were complaining, so why are you creating a narrative that it was their understanding that the kids would be supervised? In my experience the stories about strangers telling the kids what they can or cannot do (as a European not part that these people would be taken seriously by cps though) seem entirely plausible both from experiences from my childhood and experiences as a parent. There are lots of people who seem to enjoy bossing kids around. It often gets worse when kids are articulate and insist on their rights. Some people get downright aggressive if a child or teenager isn't immediately submissive.

darth_avocado 1y ago
> It often gets worse when kids are articulate and insist on their rights I can relate with this so much. When kids are articulate and confident, bossy adults have a such a hard time reacting appropriately, that they often result to acting like children. They then resort to telling lies, knowing fully well that the society will often take the word of an adult over that of a child.
parsimo2010 1y ago
> It seems like you are taking a lot of effort to create an alternative narrative I mean, it seems like the parent went through a lot of effort to craft a narrative where they aren’t bad parents despite having CPS called on them four times, their kids were accused of animal abuse, entering people’s houses without permission, and lets them run around town. I get that some neighbors can be intrusive, but either this is one single neighbor that needs to be given a cease and desist order, or there are multiple neighbors who were concerned enough to call the authorities. Either way this story doesn’t really lead me to the conclusion that the parent was fine, but the laws about kid supervision needed to be changed. Something just doesn’t make me fully believe that the parent didn’t do anything wrong.

darth_avocado 1y ago

We can all find reasons to not believe the story but if the CPS showed up and demanded constant supervision inside the house for 12-13 year olds and there is proof for that claim, that’s all you need. “They must’ve done something wrong” is the classic case of victim blaming.

potsandpans 1y ago

> On the other hand, it is plausible that the parents were actually negligent and the kids were outside totally unsupervised, This stated so plainly as a rational insight is indicative of the ludicrous shift in discourse that has happened culturally.