Can we just not assume drugs or some other crime? Edit: also this version of the biscuit story is missing the final extra flavor text! The version I read ended

Can we just not assume drugs or some other crime? Edit: also this version of the biscuit story is missing the final extra flavor text! The version I read ended something like, “What I love about this tragedy is that there is another bloke who has been telling the exact same story about an insane person stealing their biscuits. Except his version does not end on the punchline.”