4 ms·

This outlook on life is a perilous endeavor. Eliminate lesser friends, curate your circle to find better ones, talk to a professional about your ill-advised bel

This outlook on life is a perilous endeavor. Eliminate lesser friends, curate your circle to find better ones, talk to a professional about your ill-advised beliefs on humanity at large. It's not an easy process, but it's a necessary one. Write it down, make a plan.

zwnow 1y ago
These "ill-advised beliefs" are extremely valid beliefs. Most humans are just ignorant and human history has shown that plenty of times. I admire people blind enough to see the good in humanity
- saltwatercowboy 1y ago
  Your attitude is sadly widespread in tech. I don't know if it's because of rejection, or fear, or something else, but we really are nothing more than the social world we live in. Substituting that for a theoretically perfect AI 'companion' is hollow and destructive. It's like watching the movie 'Her' and thinking - wow, that looks great.
  - zwnow 1y ago
    I dont use AI for social interaction, I'd feel like a loser if I did that. But I also have a lot of trust issues with regular humans as I got disappointed over and over again. Didn't try to connect with people for over 10 years now.
    - saltwatercowboy 1y ago
      Well, you seem nice enough to me.
      - mulmen 1y ago
        Is this sarcasm? Do you actually know the person you are replying to or are you just saying what you think they want or need to hear? How does this differentiate you from an LLM from the perspective of a reader?
        saltwatercowboy 1y ago
        I was just trying to be nice as my first comment might have read as rude. I didn't want to contribute to someone feeling lonely. For your last question... you could look at my profile?
  - deleted 1y ago
    [deleted]
- const_cast 1y ago
  Valid does not mean productive. The unfortunate reality is that people hold these beliefs not because they are true, but because they desperately want them to be true. Self-destruction is perhaps the most common behavior there is. We would all like to believe nothing is our fault and the world just sucks, and such a belief is very comfortable. But we form that belief because it is easy, because it requires no thought, and because it ultimately hurts us. Being a failure is easy, being a failure that's not your fault is even easier. Trying, winning, is hard. Lots of people would rather just not play at all. They think doing so will help them, because winning is hard. But it doesn't, it's just self-destructive. It's like not showing up to an interview because you're worried it'll go bad. Yeah, it might. But you can't get a job you didn't even interview for.
  - cdnthrownawy39 1y ago
    Kind of disagree that it isn't productive. If someone self destructs out of a social life due to consuming an artificial social life, doesn't that also mean that people that want and need human connection won't have to waste their time filtering through someone that won't provide them with what they want?
    - const_cast 1y ago
      Sure, maybe, but it's not productive for themselves - it's self-destruction. It's the equivalent of cutting off your legs so you can't enter the race so you don't lose the race. Well... mission accomplished, you won't lose the race. But at what cost? Bonus points if you can believe it's everyone else's fault and none your own. Now you can't lose AND it's not your fault. Great! But you're not even playing.
      - cdnthrownawy39 1y ago
        [dead]
      - zwnow 1y ago
        Why does everything have to be productive? "Hey live a life you arent comfortable with so you fit better into society! :("
weatherlite 1y ago
The guy got lots of downvotes but I wonder, if we all love each other and think we're all on average pretty much great, how come there's a lot of loneliness? Why is it so hard to create or maintain friendships ? Surely our idea of one another on average isn't ideal otherwise we'd be constantly looking to engage in friendships no?
- borski 1y ago
  Fear. People are afraid of rejection, because some experiences are bad. But some experiences being bad doesn’t make all (or even most) experiences bad. It’s the definition of having to “get back on the horse” after falling.
  - weatherlite 1y ago
    > Fear. People are afraid of rejection, because some experiences are bad. But some experiences being bad doesn’t make all (or even most) experiences bad. I agree but the fear is based on something, not only on rejection. There are quite a few issues happening at once I think: 1) Relentless economic/status competition. The more unequal the society the more this is pronounced, this can cause a huge burden on a relationship where one side is more successful than the other side. This can cause you to feel Schandefreud when your friend is not doing well which is the opposite of what you're supposed to feel; most people don't want to feel these twisted feelings and might prefer to withdraw from the friendship. Others will "endure" their friends' success and a small minority will be 100% happy for them without any feelings of inadequacy. 2) Our culture of instant gratification - friendships and all relationships are hard work, we don't seem to like doing that anymore. 3) Friendship instability - people move cities, countries or simply change and will look for other people to be friends with. That causes an emotional rollercoster and could cause people to ask whether it's worth it . Many friendships don't survive 10 years. 4) I guess a summation of all previous points is relentless individualism in the West and the death of community, religion and even somewhat family. If some of us can't be botehred to visit our parents more than once or twice a year it's not a shocker we can't be bothered to do the hard work required to maintain personal friendships. There could be more things going on but I think it's much more complex than simply fear of rejection.

zwnow 1y ago

These "ill-advised beliefs" are extremely valid beliefs. Most humans are just ignorant and human history has shown that plenty of times. I admire people blind enough to see the good in humanity

saltwatercowboy 1y ago
Your attitude is sadly widespread in tech. I don't know if it's because of rejection, or fear, or something else, but we really are nothing more than the social world we live in. Substituting that for a theoretically perfect AI 'companion' is hollow and destructive. It's like watching the movie 'Her' and thinking - wow, that looks great.
- zwnow 1y ago
  I dont use AI for social interaction, I'd feel like a loser if I did that. But I also have a lot of trust issues with regular humans as I got disappointed over and over again. Didn't try to connect with people for over 10 years now.
  - saltwatercowboy 1y ago
    Well, you seem nice enough to me.
    - mulmen 1y ago
      Is this sarcasm? Do you actually know the person you are replying to or are you just saying what you think they want or need to hear? How does this differentiate you from an LLM from the perspective of a reader?
      - saltwatercowboy 1y ago
        I was just trying to be nice as my first comment might have read as rude. I didn't want to contribute to someone feeling lonely. For your last question... you could look at my profile?
- deleted 1y ago
  [deleted]
const_cast 1y ago
Valid does not mean productive. The unfortunate reality is that people hold these beliefs not because they are true, but because they desperately want them to be true. Self-destruction is perhaps the most common behavior there is. We would all like to believe nothing is our fault and the world just sucks, and such a belief is very comfortable. But we form that belief because it is easy, because it requires no thought, and because it ultimately hurts us. Being a failure is easy, being a failure that's not your fault is even easier. Trying, winning, is hard. Lots of people would rather just not play at all. They think doing so will help them, because winning is hard. But it doesn't, it's just self-destructive. It's like not showing up to an interview because you're worried it'll go bad. Yeah, it might. But you can't get a job you didn't even interview for.
- cdnthrownawy39 1y ago
  Kind of disagree that it isn't productive. If someone self destructs out of a social life due to consuming an artificial social life, doesn't that also mean that people that want and need human connection won't have to waste their time filtering through someone that won't provide them with what they want?
  - const_cast 1y ago
    Sure, maybe, but it's not productive for themselves - it's self-destruction. It's the equivalent of cutting off your legs so you can't enter the race so you don't lose the race. Well... mission accomplished, you won't lose the race. But at what cost? Bonus points if you can believe it's everyone else's fault and none your own. Now you can't lose AND it's not your fault. Great! But you're not even playing.
    - cdnthrownawy39 1y ago
      [dead]
    - zwnow 1y ago
      Why does everything have to be productive? "Hey live a life you arent comfortable with so you fit better into society! :("

weatherlite 1y ago

The guy got lots of downvotes but I wonder, if we all love each other and think we're all on average pretty much great, how come there's a lot of loneliness? Why is it so hard to create or maintain friendships ? Surely our idea of one another on average isn't ideal otherwise we'd be constantly looking to engage in friendships no?

borski 1y ago
Fear. People are afraid of rejection, because some experiences are bad. But some experiences being bad doesn’t make all (or even most) experiences bad. It’s the definition of having to “get back on the horse” after falling.
- weatherlite 1y ago
  > Fear. People are afraid of rejection, because some experiences are bad. But some experiences being bad doesn’t make all (or even most) experiences bad. I agree but the fear is based on something, not only on rejection. There are quite a few issues happening at once I think: 1) Relentless economic/status competition. The more unequal the society the more this is pronounced, this can cause a huge burden on a relationship where one side is more successful than the other side. This can cause you to feel Schandefreud when your friend is not doing well which is the opposite of what you're supposed to feel; most people don't want to feel these twisted feelings and might prefer to withdraw from the friendship. Others will "endure" their friends' success and a small minority will be 100% happy for them without any feelings of inadequacy. 2) Our culture of instant gratification - friendships and all relationships are hard work, we don't seem to like doing that anymore. 3) Friendship instability - people move cities, countries or simply change and will look for other people to be friends with. That causes an emotional rollercoster and could cause people to ask whether it's worth it . Many friendships don't survive 10 years. 4) I guess a summation of all previous points is relentless individualism in the West and the death of community, religion and even somewhat family. If some of us can't be botehred to visit our parents more than once or twice a year it's not a shocker we can't be bothered to do the hard work required to maintain personal friendships. There could be more things going on but I think it's much more complex than simply fear of rejection.