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>I missed coming home to postgame my bad dates with my roommates over a cup of tea. For whatever reason, I think men are a lot less likely to engage in this ki

>I missed coming home to postgame my bad dates with my roommates over a cup of tea. For whatever reason, I think men are a lot less likely to engage in this kind of social behavior, even if they are roommates. They're also a lot less likely to engage in spontaneous dance parties or enjoy group hip hop twerking exercises. Basically, a lot of the benefits of having roommates that the author describes are experienced far less often by men with roommates

ramesh31 1y ago
Pretty much. And I'm not even remotely saying it's a good thing. This is one of a myriad reasons men objectively live shorter, less healthy, and lonelier lives. You can speculate a million more reasons as to why, but it's just the reality of life.
- mock-possum 1y ago
  Man it’s so awkward for me to hear about this stuff, when this hasn’t been my experience as a man at all. I’ve always been a primarily homosocial guy, and I’ve never felt like I was lacking any of this stuff. Whether it’s someone to play videogames with, someone to cook dinner for, someone to cuddle with, someone to rant to, someone to debate or deliberate or just discuss - I’ve always had male friends close to me who care about me, who listen to me, and for whom I try my best to return the favour, when it comes around. As a matter of fact I haven’t found my female friends to be any better at any of that than my male friends - and a couple of my best friends in particular are women. Maybe I’m just lucky? Maybe other men are just doing it wrong? I really do find the more I’ve grown up, the less I have any use or respect for all this traditional gender stuff. Why are we still pretending it’s valid? Why don’t we just grow out of it already?
wibbily 1y ago
We just do it differently... "postgame work over several beers" is the norm in every house I've lived in, even when we didn't know each other well.
- derektank 1y ago
  Perhaps experience varies, but I've never talked about specific dates in any detail with even my close male friends (let alone roommates)
filoleg 1y ago
Boomer men complaining about their wives is an actual boomer facebook meme for a reason. Whether men just sitting down and talking openly about their feelings comes from the “men should be more sensitive and willing to share their feelings with others” take or the “bbq and beers with the boys in the backyard” take, the same point stands regardless. Like, guys in a group relaxing over beers or bbq and just talking about their feelings (just without using this specific terminology) has been a thing since forever ago in the US. I cannot speak for all countries ever, but in Russia (since before soviet union even existed), sauna+alcohol after+snacks along with the boys just talking about anything weighing on their mind has been a thing too. From what I know about ancient Greece, they had an equivalent of it as well. Regional/cultural equivalents aside, this seems like a somewhat common experience/ behavior across time, and painting it as some new thing that comes from the same place as “it is so cool and progressive for men to be into group twerking exercises” is disingenuous.

ramesh31 1y ago

Pretty much. And I'm not even remotely saying it's a good thing. This is one of a myriad reasons men objectively live shorter, less healthy, and lonelier lives. You can speculate a million more reasons as to why, but it's just the reality of life.

mock-possum 1y ago
Man it’s so awkward for me to hear about this stuff, when this hasn’t been my experience as a man at all. I’ve always been a primarily homosocial guy, and I’ve never felt like I was lacking any of this stuff. Whether it’s someone to play videogames with, someone to cook dinner for, someone to cuddle with, someone to rant to, someone to debate or deliberate or just discuss - I’ve always had male friends close to me who care about me, who listen to me, and for whom I try my best to return the favour, when it comes around. As a matter of fact I haven’t found my female friends to be any better at any of that than my male friends - and a couple of my best friends in particular are women. Maybe I’m just lucky? Maybe other men are just doing it wrong? I really do find the more I’ve grown up, the less I have any use or respect for all this traditional gender stuff. Why are we still pretending it’s valid? Why don’t we just grow out of it already?

wibbily 1y ago

We just do it differently... "postgame work over several beers" is the norm in every house I've lived in, even when we didn't know each other well.

derektank 1y ago
Perhaps experience varies, but I've never talked about specific dates in any detail with even my close male friends (let alone roommates)

filoleg 1y ago

Boomer men complaining about their wives is an actual boomer facebook meme for a reason. Whether men just sitting down and talking openly about their feelings comes from the “men should be more sensitive and willing to share their feelings with others” take or the “bbq and beers with the boys in the backyard” take, the same point stands regardless. Like, guys in a group relaxing over beers or bbq and just talking about their feelings (just without using this specific terminology) has been a thing since forever ago in the US. I cannot speak for all countries ever, but in Russia (since before soviet union even existed), sauna+alcohol after+snacks along with the boys just talking about anything weighing on their mind has been a thing too. From what I know about ancient Greece, they had an equivalent of it as well. Regional/cultural equivalents aside, this seems like a somewhat common experience/ behavior across time, and painting it as some new thing that comes from the same place as “it is so cool and progressive for men to be into group twerking exercises” is disingenuous.