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It’s my perception that’s there’s been a negative reaction to pressure on younger people to have kids for a while now. As a mid 30s millennial, it sure did fee

It’s my perception that’s there’s been a negative reaction to pressure on younger people to have kids for a while now. As a mid 30s millennial, it sure did feel weird back in my early 20s when older people from my rural hometown asked why I hadn’t found someone to marry and started a family yet. I had yet to even figure out who I was and how to be responsible, upstanding adult but somehow I’m supposed to take on a partner and N children too?! How does that make any sense? The chances of it ending in disaster of one sort or another are just too high, and that was obvious to me even in the midst of the naivety of a freshly minted adult. Flash forward to today, and yes I’d like to do those things but I’m now in so much better of a position to do so that it’s difficult to even express. I’m glad I didn’t succumb to the pressure.

SoftTalker 1y ago
Because early 20s is biologically the best age to have kids. You are at your most fertile, best chance for no complications and having healthy offspring, you still have pretty boundless energy to take care of them.
- cosmic_cheese 1y ago
  Sure, but that’s one of many factors to consider. Are the improved chances of healthy kids really worth it if it comes at greatly elevated risk of financial duress, where all that extra energy is spent working multiple jobs to keep a roof over everybody’s heads? Is it worth the risk of divorce when you or your spouse get a better feel for yourselves in your late 20s and figure out you’re not actually that well suited for each other? I’m sure that there are individuals who have all that sorted before their mid-20s, but that’s anything but a rule and nobody should feel pressured to make the leap at that age.
  - SoftTalker 1y ago
    Yeah but the people who have kids in their early 20s are largely not people who worry about having life all figured out. They are more go with the flow types. There's something to be said for it. The best intended plans do not survive first contact with reality.
    - cosmic_cheese 1y ago
      I agree that plans rarely work out, but this isn’t about planning nearly as much as it is about avoiding worst case outcomes and unnecessary struggle, which getting started later is generally conducive to (divorce rates in couples married in their late 20s/early 30s are lower than those who were wed in their early to mid 20s, as an example).

SoftTalker 1y ago

Because early 20s is biologically the best age to have kids. You are at your most fertile, best chance for no complications and having healthy offspring, you still have pretty boundless energy to take care of them.

cosmic_cheese 1y ago
Sure, but that’s one of many factors to consider. Are the improved chances of healthy kids really worth it if it comes at greatly elevated risk of financial duress, where all that extra energy is spent working multiple jobs to keep a roof over everybody’s heads? Is it worth the risk of divorce when you or your spouse get a better feel for yourselves in your late 20s and figure out you’re not actually that well suited for each other? I’m sure that there are individuals who have all that sorted before their mid-20s, but that’s anything but a rule and nobody should feel pressured to make the leap at that age.
- SoftTalker 1y ago
  Yeah but the people who have kids in their early 20s are largely not people who worry about having life all figured out. They are more go with the flow types. There's something to be said for it. The best intended plans do not survive first contact with reality.
  - cosmic_cheese 1y ago
    I agree that plans rarely work out, but this isn’t about planning nearly as much as it is about avoiding worst case outcomes and unnecessary struggle, which getting started later is generally conducive to (divorce rates in couples married in their late 20s/early 30s are lower than those who were wed in their early to mid 20s, as an example).