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"The issue where I am is that all adoption agencies facilitating adoptions from other countries have shutdown. All of them because of massive scandals where the

"The issue where I am is that all adoption agencies facilitating adoptions from other countries have shutdown. All of them because of massive scandals where the adopted children was more or less sold or the parents where lied to." Specifically, American parents tried to return to sender a kid they didnt like. Ie they thought they deserved a kid. "Adoption from abroad is tricky at best, and now it's no longer possible. [...] That's not to say that there aren't children being adopted, but the waiting list is 10+ years." Being a parent is a about giving yourself away. If you cant do that you're not ready or suitable for a kid. "Most children are placed in foster care, which is very different." Who deserve loving families. Look, I haven't adopted a foster kid: because Im scared Im not good enough; I admit it. But let's not pretend that there aren't a plethora of kids in need of families that we must have IVF for those who are not capable of conceiving their own.

mrweasel 1y ago
Oh, sorry if that wasn't clear. Foster children here aren't up for adoption, only in very rare cases. The two systems are for different purposes. The foster children typically have needs that require foster parents with special training. Often the foster children still have some contact with their biological parents, so again, specifically not up for adoption. Adopting is difficult, you'd have more success as a foster parent, but it's harder to be approved as a foster family, e.g. you need special training. I get that systems are different around the world, but solutions like this is still required or at least wanted in countries where adoption is pretty much not an option. It is a pretty fortunate situation to have a society where adoption is so rarely needed, but it's also massively hurtful to would be parents to suggest that they should simply adopt, when they want to, but does have that option.
- mousethatroared 1y ago
  And yet my friend's parents managed to pick three up. Btw, his birth mother was alive until five years ago. He found her through 23 and me just months after she'd passed.

mrweasel 1y ago

Oh, sorry if that wasn't clear. Foster children here aren't up for adoption, only in very rare cases. The two systems are for different purposes. The foster children typically have needs that require foster parents with special training. Often the foster children still have some contact with their biological parents, so again, specifically not up for adoption. Adopting is difficult, you'd have more success as a foster parent, but it's harder to be approved as a foster family, e.g. you need special training. I get that systems are different around the world, but solutions like this is still required or at least wanted in countries where adoption is pretty much not an option. It is a pretty fortunate situation to have a society where adoption is so rarely needed, but it's also massively hurtful to would be parents to suggest that they should simply adopt, when they want to, but does have that option.

mousethatroared 1y ago
And yet my friend's parents managed to pick three up. Btw, his birth mother was alive until five years ago. He found her through 23 and me just months after she'd passed.