4 ms·

So this guy is filthy rich and yet decided to grind for 14 months with a newborn at home? I guess that's why he's filthy rich.

teiferer 1y ago
Way to go to keep the boring chores of the first months with the partner and join the fun when the little one starts to be more fun after a year. With all that cash, I'm sure they could buy a bunch of help for the partner too.
- Xenoamorphous 1y ago
  I don't know, when I became a parent I was in for the full ride, not to have someone else raising her. Yes, raising includes changing diapers and all that.
  - pegasus 1y ago
    You make it sound like your choice is somehow the righteous one. I'm not convinced. What's wrong with a hiring help, as long as it's well selected? And anyway, usually the help would take care of various errands to free up mom so she can focus on her baby. But maybe they have happily involved grandparents. Maybe he was working part-time. Or maybe there's some other factor we're completely missing on right now.
    - Xenoamorphous 1y ago
      So you sincerely think it’s ok that everybody takes care of the kid but the father because he’s rich and can afford multiple nannies? There’s not much context to miss when TFA has this: > The Codex sprint was probably the hardest I've worked in nearly a decade. Most nights were up until 11 or midnight. Waking up to a newborn at 5:30 every morning. Heading to the office again at 7a. Working most weekends.
      - pegasus 1y ago
        Does a household necessarily need multiple nannies to raise a baby? Grandparents might be willing to help and if there's some house help as well, no nannies might be needed at all, as long as the wife is happy with the arrangement, which I don't find impossible to entertain. Yeah, wealth allows for more freedom of choice, that's always been the case, but this type of arrangement is not unheard of across social classes.
        teiferer 1y ago
        A billionaire asking the grandparents for help with a newborn instead of spending some dollars for that help? C'mon, have you ever had a newborn?
    - ml-anon 1y ago
      >>free up no so she can focus on her baby Their baby, I presume…not just hers. Literally any excuse for the man to not be involved.
- motbus3 1y ago
  There are certain experiences in life that one needs to go through so you keep grounded to what really matters.
  - ToucanLoucan 1y ago
    The people who will disagree with this statement would say, full throated, that what really mattered was shipping on time. Couldn't be me. I do my work, then clock the fuck off, and I don't even have kids. I wasn't put upon this earth to write code or solve bugs, I just do that for the cash.
- jajko 1y ago
  There is some parenting, then there is good parenting. Most people don't have this option due to finances, but those that do and still avoid it to pick up just easy and nice parts - I don't have much sympathy nor respect for them. Then later they even have the balls to complain how kids these days are unruly, never acknowledging massive gaps in their own care. Plus it certainly helps the kid with bonding, emotional stability and keeps the parent more in touch emotionally with their own kid(s).
  - ethbr1 1y ago
    > Then later they even have the balls to complain how kids these days are unruly, never acknowledging massive gaps in their own care. My favorite is ‘I can’t understand why my kid didn’t turn into a responsible adult!’ Cue look back on what opportunities the parent put them in to learn and practice those skills, over the last 20 years.
- 47282847 1y ago
  You do know that early bonding experiences of newborns are crucial for their lifelong development? It reads like satire, or, if serious, plain child maltreatment.
  - xandrius 1y ago
    Pushing it a bit there, aren't we?
    - deleted 1y ago
      [deleted]
    - 47282847 1y ago
      Winston, R., & Chicot, R. (2016). The importance of early bonding on the long-term mental health and resilience of children. London journal of primary care, 8(1), 12–14. https://doi.org/10.1080/17571472.2015.1133012 https://doi.org/10.1080/17571472.2015.1133012 Brown, G. L., Mangelsdorf, S. C., & Neff, C. (2012). Father involvement, paternal sensitivity, and father-child attachment security in the first 3 years. Journal of family psychology : JFP : journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43), 26(3), 421–430. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0027836 https://doi.org/10.1037/a0027836 Deneault, A. A., Bakermans-Kranenburg, M. J., Groh, A. M., Fearon, P. R. M., & Madigan, S. (2021). Child-father attachment in early childhood and behavior problems: A meta-analysis. New directions for child and adolescent development, 2021(180), 43–66. https://doi.org/10.1002/cad.20434 https://doi.org/10.1002/cad.20434 Scism, A. R., & Cobb, R. L. (2017). Integrative Review of Factors and Interventions That Influence Early Father-Infant Bonding. Journal of obstetric, gynecologic, and neonatal nursing : JOGNN, 46(2), 163–170. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jogn.2016.09.004 https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jogn.2016.09.004 Jeong, J., Franchett, E. E., Ramos de Oliveira, C. V., Rehmani, K., & Yousafzai, A. K. (2021). Parenting interventions to promote early child development in the first three years of life: A global systematic review and meta-analysis. PLoS medicine, 18(5), e1003602. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1003602 https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1003602 Joas, J., & Möhler, E. (2021). Bonding in Early Infancy Predicts Childrens' Social Competences in Preschool Age. Frontiers in psychiatry, 12, 687535. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.687535 https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.687535 Thümmler R, Engel E-M, Bartz J. Strengthening Emotional Development and Emotion Regulation in Childhood—As a Key Task in Early Childhood Education. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2022; 19(7):3978. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph19073978 https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph19073978
- foobarian 1y ago
  Yeah, or, let the partner have the easy period before they are mobile, and when they sleep half the day, and then join the fun when they can walk off into the craft supplies/pantry where sugar/flour/etc. are stored/the workshop with the power tools etc., and when they drop the naptime and instead start waking at 5am and asking you to play Roblox with them. Either option is priceless :-)
  - kridsdale1 1y ago
    I just went through this period. I would not describe it as easy.
mistrial9 1y ago
lots of wealthy families have dysfunctional internal emotional patterns.. A quick stat is that there is more alcoholism among the 1% wealthiest than the general population across the USA
- meta_ai_x 1y ago
  Wow! Wanting to work hard at building cool things == dysfunctional internal emotional pattern Sums up western workforce attitude and why immigrants continue to crush them
pegasus 1y ago
It's unlikely he sees or even perceives what he's doing as a grind, but rather something akin to an exciting and engrossing chase or puzzle. If my mental model of these kind of Silicon Valley types is correct, neither is he likely to be in it for the money, at least not at the narrative self level. He most likely was "feelin' the AGI", in Ilya Sutskever's immortal words. I.e. feeling like this might be a once-in-a-million-years opportunity to birth a new species, if not a deity even.
kridsdale1 1y ago
I had a chance to join OpenAI 13 months ago too. But I had a son 14 months ago. There was absolutely no way I was going to miss any of a critical part in my baby’s life in order to be in an office at 2am managing a bad deployment. Maybe I gave up my chance at PPU or RSU riches. But I know I chose a different kind of wealth that can never be replaced.
- sillysaurusx 1y ago
  Wow, ditto! I thought I was the only one who took an extended leave to watch their baby grow up. Totally worth it, and it was a wonderful experience being able to focus 100% on her.
  - ml-anon 1y ago
    You both 100% made the right choice. The number of apologists for terrible fathers in this thread explains a lot.
  - Breza 1y ago
    My daughter was born in 2020, when my employer was going through big changes and the world around me was obviously in chaos. There were real opportunities to work long days and advance in our new parent company. Instead, I took every day of paternity leave that they'd let me have and tossed in some PTO for good measure. There's nothing like being able to spend all day learning your new baby.
deleted 1y ago
[deleted]

teiferer 1y ago

Way to go to keep the boring chores of the first months with the partner and join the fun when the little one starts to be more fun after a year. With all that cash, I'm sure they could buy a bunch of help for the partner too.

Xenoamorphous 1y ago
I don't know, when I became a parent I was in for the full ride, not to have someone else raising her. Yes, raising includes changing diapers and all that.
- pegasus 1y ago
  You make it sound like your choice is somehow the righteous one. I'm not convinced. What's wrong with a hiring help, as long as it's well selected? And anyway, usually the help would take care of various errands to free up mom so she can focus on her baby. But maybe they have happily involved grandparents. Maybe he was working part-time. Or maybe there's some other factor we're completely missing on right now.
  - Xenoamorphous 1y ago
    So you sincerely think it’s ok that everybody takes care of the kid but the father because he’s rich and can afford multiple nannies? There’s not much context to miss when TFA has this: > The Codex sprint was probably the hardest I've worked in nearly a decade. Most nights were up until 11 or midnight. Waking up to a newborn at 5:30 every morning. Heading to the office again at 7a. Working most weekends.
    - pegasus 1y ago
      Does a household necessarily need multiple nannies to raise a baby? Grandparents might be willing to help and if there's some house help as well, no nannies might be needed at all, as long as the wife is happy with the arrangement, which I don't find impossible to entertain. Yeah, wealth allows for more freedom of choice, that's always been the case, but this type of arrangement is not unheard of across social classes.
      - teiferer 1y ago
        A billionaire asking the grandparents for help with a newborn instead of spending some dollars for that help? C'mon, have you ever had a newborn?
  - ml-anon 1y ago
    >>free up no so she can focus on her baby Their baby, I presume…not just hers. Literally any excuse for the man to not be involved.
motbus3 1y ago
There are certain experiences in life that one needs to go through so you keep grounded to what really matters.
- ToucanLoucan 1y ago
  The people who will disagree with this statement would say, full throated, that what really mattered was shipping on time. Couldn't be me. I do my work, then clock the fuck off, and I don't even have kids. I wasn't put upon this earth to write code or solve bugs, I just do that for the cash.
jajko 1y ago
There is some parenting, then there is good parenting. Most people don't have this option due to finances, but those that do and still avoid it to pick up just easy and nice parts - I don't have much sympathy nor respect for them. Then later they even have the balls to complain how kids these days are unruly, never acknowledging massive gaps in their own care. Plus it certainly helps the kid with bonding, emotional stability and keeps the parent more in touch emotionally with their own kid(s).
- ethbr1 1y ago
  > Then later they even have the balls to complain how kids these days are unruly, never acknowledging massive gaps in their own care. My favorite is ‘I can’t understand why my kid didn’t turn into a responsible adult!’ Cue look back on what opportunities the parent put them in to learn and practice those skills, over the last 20 years.
47282847 1y ago
You do know that early bonding experiences of newborns are crucial for their lifelong development? It reads like satire, or, if serious, plain child maltreatment.
- xandrius 1y ago
  Pushing it a bit there, aren't we?
  - deleted 1y ago
    [deleted]
  - 47282847 1y ago
    Winston, R., & Chicot, R. (2016). The importance of early bonding on the long-term mental health and resilience of children. London journal of primary care, 8(1), 12–14. https://doi.org/10.1080/17571472.2015.1133012 https://doi.org/10.1080/17571472.2015.1133012 Brown, G. L., Mangelsdorf, S. C., & Neff, C. (2012). Father involvement, paternal sensitivity, and father-child attachment security in the first 3 years. Journal of family psychology : JFP : journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43), 26(3), 421–430. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0027836 https://doi.org/10.1037/a0027836 Deneault, A. A., Bakermans-Kranenburg, M. J., Groh, A. M., Fearon, P. R. M., & Madigan, S. (2021). Child-father attachment in early childhood and behavior problems: A meta-analysis. New directions for child and adolescent development, 2021(180), 43–66. https://doi.org/10.1002/cad.20434 https://doi.org/10.1002/cad.20434 Scism, A. R., & Cobb, R. L. (2017). Integrative Review of Factors and Interventions That Influence Early Father-Infant Bonding. Journal of obstetric, gynecologic, and neonatal nursing : JOGNN, 46(2), 163–170. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jogn.2016.09.004 https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jogn.2016.09.004 Jeong, J., Franchett, E. E., Ramos de Oliveira, C. V., Rehmani, K., & Yousafzai, A. K. (2021). Parenting interventions to promote early child development in the first three years of life: A global systematic review and meta-analysis. PLoS medicine, 18(5), e1003602. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1003602 https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1003602 Joas, J., & Möhler, E. (2021). Bonding in Early Infancy Predicts Childrens' Social Competences in Preschool Age. Frontiers in psychiatry, 12, 687535. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.687535 https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.687535 Thümmler R, Engel E-M, Bartz J. Strengthening Emotional Development and Emotion Regulation in Childhood—As a Key Task in Early Childhood Education. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2022; 19(7):3978. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph19073978 https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph19073978
foobarian 1y ago
Yeah, or, let the partner have the easy period before they are mobile, and when they sleep half the day, and then join the fun when they can walk off into the craft supplies/pantry where sugar/flour/etc. are stored/the workshop with the power tools etc., and when they drop the naptime and instead start waking at 5am and asking you to play Roblox with them. Either option is priceless :-)
- kridsdale1 1y ago
  I just went through this period. I would not describe it as easy.

mistrial9 1y ago

lots of wealthy families have dysfunctional internal emotional patterns.. A quick stat is that there is more alcoholism among the 1% wealthiest than the general population across the USA

meta_ai_x 1y ago
Wow! Wanting to work hard at building cool things == dysfunctional internal emotional pattern Sums up western workforce attitude and why immigrants continue to crush them

pegasus 1y ago

It's unlikely he sees or even perceives what he's doing as a grind, but rather something akin to an exciting and engrossing chase or puzzle. If my mental model of these kind of Silicon Valley types is correct, neither is he likely to be in it for the money, at least not at the narrative self level. He most likely was "feelin' the AGI", in Ilya Sutskever's immortal words. I.e. feeling like this might be a once-in-a-million-years opportunity to birth a new species, if not a deity even.

kridsdale1 1y ago

I had a chance to join OpenAI 13 months ago too. But I had a son 14 months ago. There was absolutely no way I was going to miss any of a critical part in my baby’s life in order to be in an office at 2am managing a bad deployment. Maybe I gave up my chance at PPU or RSU riches. But I know I chose a different kind of wealth that can never be replaced.

sillysaurusx 1y ago
Wow, ditto! I thought I was the only one who took an extended leave to watch their baby grow up. Totally worth it, and it was a wonderful experience being able to focus 100% on her.
- ml-anon 1y ago
  You both 100% made the right choice. The number of apologists for terrible fathers in this thread explains a lot.
- Breza 1y ago
  My daughter was born in 2020, when my employer was going through big changes and the world around me was obviously in chaos. There were real opportunities to work long days and advance in our new parent company. Instead, I took every day of paternity leave that they'd let me have and tossed in some PTO for good measure. There's nothing like being able to spend all day learning your new baby.

deleted 1y ago

[deleted]