5 ms·

No - being a mom and having to work full time sucks. Being a full time mom probably isn't that bad.

louwrentius 1y ago
Some Women who are full time mothers report feeling isolated. Many chose to keep their job even if all the money goes to day care.
- scottyah 1y ago
  Making friends irl is hard when everyone has TVs and phones
- supertrope 1y ago
  There's also the benefits of career progression, avoiding a long resume gap, saving for retirement, not being financially dependent on your spouse, and increased financial resilience for the family.
beefnugs 1y ago
All modern problems are capitalism problems
- wolfgangK 1y ago
  You forgot the "/s", or do you actually believe that it's capitalism's fault is a mother taking care of her children is "unpaid labor" ?
- more_corn 1y ago
  I can think of some communism problems that are not capitalism problems. Central planners causing famine that kills millions not once but twice that I know of. Also reports from communist nations sound like living under communism sucks balls. I suppose the Nordic socialist democracies are pretty nice. They probably have birth rates below replacement levels as well though. It turns out if you offer women the choice to have a career, enough of them take it that you drop below the replacement rate.
dividefuel 1y ago
If you read forums of new parents (e.g. parenting subreddits), the common consensus is that being a stay at home parent is far harder than a job.
- risyachka 1y ago
  Everything worth doing is hard.
- wolfgangK 1y ago
  "is hard" ≠ "sucks"
- deleted 1y ago
  [deleted]
- tayo42 1y ago
  Parenting subreddits have alot of the most extreme situations. I have a child, alot of what I read on these internet groups isn't relatable.
- thehappypm 1y ago
  As a counterpoint, I am a stay at home parent right now because I’m on paternity leave and it is by far the best time I’ve ever had in my life
- arvinsim 1y ago
  As a daily Reddit user, I can definitely say to take anything from subreddits with a grain of salt.
- missedthecue 1y ago
  I have two cousins who became stay at home dads, and something really interesting is that the mothers claim that being a stay-at-home parent is exhausting grueling thankless work, and the fathers who are stay-at-home seem to love it! It seems that generally speaking, either fathers are too negligent, mothers are too neurotic, or some mixture of the two is happening.
itake 1y ago
In many HCOL cities, for many couples, SAHM isn't a financially feasible option. Also, as a full-time mom, you’ve given up autonomy to your husband (since he controls the finances). While women can leave the relationship whenever they want, their careers often suffer, and they can’t just pick up where they left off.
- swagasaurus-rex 1y ago
  Women can leave and get alimony, child support, and often times greater custody of the kids. Men don’t want to take that risk, so many men opt out of marriage as well.
  - itake 1y ago
    Alimony is temporary and fixed, whereas careers are not only life-long, but have compounding growth. There is a significant financial gap between a divorced woman in her 50s with only five years of alimony remaining and a career woman in her 50s with a $400,000 401(k) balance.
    - deleted 1y ago
      [deleted]
    - kevin_thibedeau 1y ago
      Western Marriage is a contract where one party is rewarded for breaking the terms. The low marriage rates of Millennials / Elder Z [1] are indicative of this new world order. It isn't just "because men!!". [1] https://old.reddit.com/r/MediocreTutorials/comments/18lhait/marriage_rates_are_declining_could_it_just_be_a/ https://old.reddit.com/r/MediocreTutorials/comments/18lhait/...
    - epicureanideal 1y ago
      You forgot to mention child support which is for up to 18 years. Also, nothing stops the woman from having a career, especially if she cooperatively shares 50/50 custody, but often they prefer aiming for nearly 100% custody because it increases their child support payments, and then still have the option to cry victim that they’re a single mother despite getting thousands of dollars a month and they’re actively preventing the father from being involved with the kids. Happens a lot. As for a stay at home mom who doesn’t get divorced, she doesn’t need to be entirely stay at home for all 18 years.. kids go to school at 5 and can go to after school programs if necessary while she works. A couple years before that if the kids are in pre school she could get a degree or masters degree or work part time. So the career gap could be minimized.
tshaddox 1y ago
The newborn phase is still pretty uniquely brutal compared to most jobs.
watwut 1y ago
Being full time mom sux. Genuinely.

Some Women who are full time mothers report feeling isolated. Many chose to keep their job even if all the money goes to day care.

scottyah 1y ago
Making friends irl is hard when everyone has TVs and phones
supertrope 1y ago
There's also the benefits of career progression, avoiding a long resume gap, saving for retirement, not being financially dependent on your spouse, and increased financial resilience for the family.

beefnugs 1y ago

All modern problems are capitalism problems

wolfgangK 1y ago
You forgot the "/s", or do you actually believe that it's capitalism's fault is a mother taking care of her children is "unpaid labor" ?
more_corn 1y ago
I can think of some communism problems that are not capitalism problems. Central planners causing famine that kills millions not once but twice that I know of. Also reports from communist nations sound like living under communism sucks balls. I suppose the Nordic socialist democracies are pretty nice. They probably have birth rates below replacement levels as well though. It turns out if you offer women the choice to have a career, enough of them take it that you drop below the replacement rate.

dividefuel 1y ago

If you read forums of new parents (e.g. parenting subreddits), the common consensus is that being a stay at home parent is far harder than a job.

risyachka 1y ago
Everything worth doing is hard.
wolfgangK 1y ago
"is hard" ≠ "sucks"
deleted 1y ago
[deleted]
tayo42 1y ago
Parenting subreddits have alot of the most extreme situations. I have a child, alot of what I read on these internet groups isn't relatable.
thehappypm 1y ago
As a counterpoint, I am a stay at home parent right now because I’m on paternity leave and it is by far the best time I’ve ever had in my life
arvinsim 1y ago
As a daily Reddit user, I can definitely say to take anything from subreddits with a grain of salt.
missedthecue 1y ago
I have two cousins who became stay at home dads, and something really interesting is that the mothers claim that being a stay-at-home parent is exhausting grueling thankless work, and the fathers who are stay-at-home seem to love it! It seems that generally speaking, either fathers are too negligent, mothers are too neurotic, or some mixture of the two is happening.

itake 1y ago

In many HCOL cities, for many couples, SAHM isn't a financially feasible option. Also, as a full-time mom, you’ve given up autonomy to your husband (since he controls the finances). While women can leave the relationship whenever they want, their careers often suffer, and they can’t just pick up where they left off.

swagasaurus-rex 1y ago
Women can leave and get alimony, child support, and often times greater custody of the kids. Men don’t want to take that risk, so many men opt out of marriage as well.
- itake 1y ago
  Alimony is temporary and fixed, whereas careers are not only life-long, but have compounding growth. There is a significant financial gap between a divorced woman in her 50s with only five years of alimony remaining and a career woman in her 50s with a $400,000 401(k) balance.
  - deleted 1y ago
    [deleted]
  - kevin_thibedeau 1y ago
    Western Marriage is a contract where one party is rewarded for breaking the terms. The low marriage rates of Millennials / Elder Z [1] are indicative of this new world order. It isn't just "because men!!". [1] https://old.reddit.com/r/MediocreTutorials/comments/18lhait/marriage_rates_are_declining_could_it_just_be_a/ https://old.reddit.com/r/MediocreTutorials/comments/18lhait/...
  - epicureanideal 1y ago
    You forgot to mention child support which is for up to 18 years. Also, nothing stops the woman from having a career, especially if she cooperatively shares 50/50 custody, but often they prefer aiming for nearly 100% custody because it increases their child support payments, and then still have the option to cry victim that they’re a single mother despite getting thousands of dollars a month and they’re actively preventing the father from being involved with the kids. Happens a lot. As for a stay at home mom who doesn’t get divorced, she doesn’t need to be entirely stay at home for all 18 years.. kids go to school at 5 and can go to after school programs if necessary while she works. A couple years before that if the kids are in pre school she could get a degree or masters degree or work part time. So the career gap could be minimized.

tshaddox 1y ago

The newborn phase is still pretty uniquely brutal compared to most jobs.

watwut 1y ago

Being full time mom sux. Genuinely.