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> You can literally go outside and talk to people. You can't . If you talk to modern city people the way you casually said 'hi' to strangers in the 90s , at b

• officehero 1y ago
  This exchange highlights the huge difference in experience people have w.r.t. dating. Some people get approached all the time and others never get approached and it's always been like that. I blame humanity for this unfair system rather than some stupid app.
  • protocolture 1y ago
    I remember trying to date a woman in college, she would drop what appeared to me as incredible hints, but if I acted on them she would just ignore me. We once had a 2 hour conversation about how she just could not find a mexican restaurant in town and would do /anything/ to eat at one. So I found one (willed it into existence) and then she simply wasn't interested. Thing was, I dont really care about the rejection so much as, it was super easy for me to have relatively deep and interesting conversation with a total stranger. This wasn't even the first one, previous conversations about "Why are cities taking up valuable agricultural land" and "The best gifts to buy a woman are power tools" went down much the same way. If people are convinced that the conversation to be rejected in cant even take place then I guess I understand concerns about the birthrate a little more.
• Klonoar 1y ago
  No? Just... don't be creepy. I've done this a few times over the last few days alone (in Seattle no less, a city infamous for being antisocial - though I'm willing to accept some were tourists for the 4th). IME, people are actually starved for human interaction.
  • bragh 1y ago
    It makes no sense to have a high risk of getting blasted all over local Facebook groups/Instagram/Tiktok for daring to approach while being ugly when they can use dating apps for zero risk. And if dating apps feel expensive to use, then there is Photofeeler also to validate your attractiveness.
    • Klonoar 1y ago
      You are seriously overthinking this shit.
      • bragh 1y ago
        Carefully considering actions that might have life-ruining consequences is not overthinking.
        • deleted 1y ago
          [deleted]
        • zbentley 1y ago
          I recommend being very honest with yourself here, whether or not you want to share it in a reply. Is the low chance of bad consequences the only factor keeping you from talking to strangers? There’s a low chance of bad consequences when you cross a busy street, too. Is fear of rejection by an individual or group a factor, too? There’s a much higher chance of that happening, but it’s far from life ruining. Are you worried that you have social behaviors that make it more likely you are considered creepy in social interactions? If so, are there ways you can reduce those behaviors? Are there other areas where acute awareness of severe potential negative consequences makes you avoid activities that lots of other people in your cohort might enjoy? Source: it me. If you’re in a similar situation, know that it can get a lot better. Just takes time and work, like everything.
          • bragh 1y ago
            The risks and consequences of crossing a busy street are nowhere near as unknown or potentially severe. Wait until all the traffic has stopped, look to your left and your right and behind your back (typical situational awareness during bounding overwatch), cross the road. Even if something very rare and extreme happens, nobody sane will blast you on social media for failing to dodge a meteor or a suddenly exploding car. When it comes to social context, you might miss some kind of sign and the worst cases there are pretty terrifying, might even get arrested in UK, which will lead to losing a job, failing any background checks, might even become homeless — and nobody sane will have any empathy for your mistake. So I really do not get why people are against dating apps, when those are the best thing ever to avoid catastrophic consequences for initial approach.
  • StefanBatory 1y ago
    I sometimes browse my city Spotted pages. It's an common thing to see someone complaining about a "creep" (quotes as in, I'm quoting them) because someone tried to hit up on them and so on. In today world, what you're speaking is at best dangerous.
    • watwut 1y ago
      If you want to hit on the people yes you should be in social ccontext where causual sexual relations are appropriate. And yes, most people in most situations are not looking for that. That was actually unwelcome in the 90ties too in most settings.
      • carlosjobim 1y ago
        That used to be every social context, and it still is if you go about it in a decent manner.
    • Klonoar 1y ago
      > In today world, what you're speaking is at best dangerous. It's not dangerous if you do the work to learn how to socially interact.
• ansc 1y ago
  Come on. I agree with the premise that it is really difficult and sucks to "just go out and talk to people". Depends on where you live I guess though. I think thinking you'll end up on a TikTok because you talk to a person in a queue is just a far off excuse.
• diggan 1y ago
  > You can't . If you talk to modern city people the way you casually said 'hi' to strangers in the 90s It is true, in some places, that talking to strangers are generally frowned upon without having a good reason to do so. The trick is to either only open up the conversation when you have something relevant to say (or funny, seems to work sometimes too), or move to city/country where it's socially accepted. As someone who used to live in a country where talking with strangers is basically implicitly forbidden and straight up weird, but then moved to a country where it's completely normal, the amount of interesting conversations easily skyrocketed as soon as I landed in my new home country.
• protocolture 1y ago
  I literally had a conversation with a bloke at the same cafe as me yesterday. The restriction is in your mind.