4 ms·

> I think I'm satisfied with the very simple reason that raising kids is hard work. Most people feel like 1 kid already gets their hands full. That's really it

> I think I'm satisfied with the very simple reason that raising kids is hard work. Most people feel like 1 kid already gets their hands full. That's really it IMO. Whenever it was that joint families split up into disparate nuclear families, obviously the load of raising say 5 kids that was being shared among 20 people, suddenly fell on just 2 people. I think you're falsely assuming that, over history, it has taken a constant amount of effort to raise a child. I recently read an aside in some recent article about birthrates that current-day American working mothers spend as much time on their kids as 1970s-era stay-at-home mothers. For that to be true, parents/society must be making child-rearing much more work than it was 50 years ago. So I agree with the GP, it's a modernity problem (or rather, a modern culture problem).

porridgeraisin 1y ago
That strengthens my point actually. If raising a kid has become much harder today in some cases, then it's even more impractical to have many kids without having a joint family to support you.
- palmotea 1y ago
  > If raising a kid has become much harder today in some cases, then it's even more impractical to have many kids without having a joint family to support you. My point is raising a kid isn't actually harder. Also the intense effort can backfire, resulting is worse off kids (e.g. the anxiety and lack of resilience that results from helicopter parenting). My other point is the joint family thing seems like a wash: yes they can support you, but you also have to support them in equal measure.
  - porridgeraisin 1y ago
    > you also have to support them in equal measure On aggregate over the course of your life, yes, but that's not a useful thing to state is it. It is certainly not true for an individual day/week, you get a lot of extra help when you're raising kids. It becomes more true once the kids reach a certain age where they are amenable to listening to anyone in the house, freeing up the parents for what you mentioned. The difference is simply night and day, having seen both first hand.

porridgeraisin 1y ago

That strengthens my point actually. If raising a kid has become much harder today in some cases, then it's even more impractical to have many kids without having a joint family to support you.

palmotea 1y ago
> If raising a kid has become much harder today in some cases, then it's even more impractical to have many kids without having a joint family to support you. My point is raising a kid isn't actually harder. Also the intense effort can backfire, resulting is worse off kids (e.g. the anxiety and lack of resilience that results from helicopter parenting). My other point is the joint family thing seems like a wash: yes they can support you, but you also have to support them in equal measure.
- porridgeraisin 1y ago
  > you also have to support them in equal measure On aggregate over the course of your life, yes, but that's not a useful thing to state is it. It is certainly not true for an individual day/week, you get a lot of extra help when you're raising kids. It becomes more true once the kids reach a certain age where they are amenable to listening to anyone in the house, freeing up the parents for what you mentioned. The difference is simply night and day, having seen both first hand.